Ann, I'm so excited you wrote a story! I knew it was just a matter of time
And what a story to debut with! This is beautiful and you've set it at such an important - and emotional - turning point for them: the beginning of their romance. They are in love, but question so much (themselves, each other, their faith in this love which is so new and in so many ways incredibly scary), and they don't know how to handle their feelings...
ahhhh
And I have to quote some things here (even though Sara's post covers most everything!!)
He was fun, tender, caring... a brilliant reporter... cute... no, make that darn good-looking... no, heck, knock-down completely gorgeous! God! And a spine-tingling kisser...
I love this paragraph! It's perfectly Lois... she's mad and her thoughts are all over the place and she's thinking all these things and then correcting her thoughts
*This coyness, Clark! Speak for yourself!* Fuming, Lois ran up the stairs, needing to get rid of some excess adrenaline before facing the infuriating farmboy.
I don't know, but if I were her, I would be wondering if the infuriating farmboy was naked.
she saw the rose hanging from her door handle. It was wrapped in something big, red, and silky. A piece of silky red cloth. A cape.
Superman's cape.
Lois' breath caught.
*Her* breath caught!! I'm dying over here!
"I always wanted to be Clark to you, Lois."
Oh wow... still haven't got that breath back yet!
But suddenly the slow manner of dressing was too much for him, and he whirled. The next moment Clark stood before her, complete with glasses and loose hairstyle, all traces of Superman gone.
Great paragraph, the change back and then the confrontation:
"I'm - I'm the man I am with you", he insisted. "When I am with you, that's when I'm really myself. I don't think I've ever been myself before. Before I met you. Before I - before I started being with you."
"But you didn't show yourself to me, Clark. Maybe you were yourself to you when you were with me, but you were not yourself to me. I never really got to see you."
Half-turning away from her, he raked his fingers through his hair, then buried his face in his hands.
"I'm... I was so scared," he whispered. Scared that you would reject me, now that I'd finally found myself, thanks to you. I didn't know if I could live without you," he added bleakly. "And I didn't know if you would have me if you really knew me."
No, Clark... noooo....
I want you to love me, Lois. Shouldn't I be prepared to love you back? But how can I love you if I keep lying to you - if I keep feeding you a pack of lies about the man I'm asking you to give your heart to?"
GREAT!!!
His whole body quivered, tears welled up in his eyes, and he reached for her, crushing her against him, devouring her mouth with his own. They were rocking, hugging, kissing, touching, moaning, sobbing; and she, too, found herself crying as they kissed, their tongues dancing as their tears mingled. She caressed and stroked his face, his chest, his neck, his back, his shoulders; and of their own volition, her hands started unbuttoning his shirt, finding the firm unyielding spandex underneath. With an effort, she tore her lips away from his, and, staring into his eyes, she wordlessly asked him a question. Relief, joy and awe shining out of him like a sun, he answered her from his heart:
"If you want me, Lois, I'm yours. All of me."
Then he whirled, slowly and gracefully. The Superman suit lay by his feet, neatly folded. His tie was gone, like his glasses, but he still wore his pants and his shirt. His shirt was open, the way Lois wanted it. And she was pressing her body against his, snaking her arms against his, feeling the soft skin of his chest and back. Shivering with pleasure, he caressed her with equal tenderness, kissing her luminous skin and cupping her breasts in his hands.
The night was young. Everything was wonderful and overwhelming to two brand new lovers. The full moon rose over them, bathing their skin in glittering silver light. In the morning, the rising sun would caress their bodies with its golden rays, set in rose-colored clouds. For a moment, for a night, for a time defined by the era of love, for two brand new lovers, heaven reached out and touched the Earth. And for a moment, for two loving people, everything was right with the world.
Okay, only wanted to pick out a sentence or two, but whatever. Forgive me. These final paragraphs were awing and I had to quote it all! First of all, you described this embrace wonderfully! I had the clearest mental picture of the two of them in each others arms, exploring. Her pain finally vanishing in light of the revelation and his fear finally vanishing in light of her acceptance and her promise to him. Simply beautiful
Ann, again, this is fantastic, and you HAVE to write more! I love how you were able to do the revelation at such an important point in their relationship, have the background of Valentine's Day to give the story even more romance, and still keep it and incredibly believable vignette! Every line is important and filled with meaning and every word spoken so loaded as well. It only had to be this long and still you managed all this romance at this crucial time for them. I think I'm now talking in circles. And babbling.
Okay in a sentence:
AWESOME first story... the first of many
~NICOLE
