Wow.
Like Bakasi, I don't see a way out of this. Fortunately, I'm not telling this tale. I have confidence that you will, after showing us Lois' heart (filleted and diced and sliced and totally shredded and completely exposed) and her pain, you will allow Superman's support team (Jonathan, Martha, and James) to convince Superman that Lois deserves the same second chance that Superman got with the world after Nightfall.
Of course, Lois will have to convince the doubters that she would be a good addition to the team. Right now that doesn't seem very likely. You are doing such a wonderful job of showing us the depths of grief and regret (for her actions, for her lost opportunities) that it would almost be a shame to resolve this dilemma somehow.
Please note that I said "almost." I'm sure you'll give Lois some peace. And I'm sure that Clark will come back. If Clark's attitude toward his flashy alter-ego ("Superman is what I do. Clark Kent is who I am.") is still valid, he'll eventually realize that he needs to get out of the Suit sometimes. And if his compassion wasn't crushed out of him by Lois' story and by Nightfall, if he hasn't transferred that focus from individuals to the world at large, if he hasn't started keeping track of the lives he saves like a giant pinball machine (Ding! A life saved! Whack! A crime prevented! Boing! A disaster averted!), he'll see that Lois is in just as much pain as he.
Now, I'd like to comment on the style of this story.
Writing in the present tense is
hard. It's very difficult to maintain the focus on the "now" moment without slipping into the universal, all-seeing eye narrative style. Very few people can write this way.
And you're one of them.
Were I to be asked, I wouldn't recommend this technique for any writer. But so far you have not only pulled it off, you've made it a necessary part of the way the story is unfolding. You've pulled us into Lois' mind and heart and shown us both
in real time! This is so hard to do (I repeat myself), but you have captured it - and Lois - for us with your style.
And I have grown to love the little parenthetical asides, too. They are even more difficult to master, but you are on top of them all the time. They intrude without intruding, stretching out the "now" that we're in as we see Lois' thought bunnies skitter about almost aimlessly but always making it back home. It really contributes to Lois' sense of aimlessness and loss of situational control, two things she's lived by for so long but which she now must live without (and it's tearing her mind and heart into pieces).
I wasn't sure about any of this at first, but for this story it not only works, the story wouldn't be anywhere close to being this powerful without you telling it this way. I applaud you, Anti-K. Not only are you telling us a new tale, you're telling it in a new way, and you're telling it with skill and sensitivity. Were there a Kerth award for style, you'd sweep the voting and win going away.
Thank you.
