I found the original!
It's definitely worth saving, does anyone remember who wrote it?
Everything I Need to Know in Life I Learned From Lois & Clark Mother-in-laws are not so bad; sometimes they just want someone to talk with about their boy....You can't save everyone, but doing what you can makes a difference....Don't treat women like hood ornaments....Putting tin foil on your head prevents psychics from reading your mind....Don't break up with someone for their own good....If your words come back at you sounding dumb, they probably are....When your sister's boyfriend is a creep, she probably won't appreciate seeing his mug shot over breakfast....Before you ask someone to marry you, tell them your biggest secret or they'll be mad----really, really mad....Some people like being on top....When someone really loves you, it doesn't matter if you have coffee breath; it doesn't matter how you look; it doesn't matter whether you wear burgundy, violet, or black....The M word doesn't make things forever; the L word does....People see what they want to see....Don't trust anyone that call you by an animal's name....Time together is more important than the perfect pearl from Japan, chocolate from Switzerland, snow from the Andes, and Camembert from France....Leave your windows open; you never know what'll come flying in....When you can fall asleep in someone's arms even when you're being hunted by a lunatic, that should tell your something....If someone makes you want to barf, they're probably a suspect....Answering the door in a towel at 9 o'clock in the morning is a sure-fire way of getting your partner's attention....Some ties work better than bullet-proof vests....Not talking about something is often scarier than talking about it....Explain things to the person you love....Avoid noxious chemical elements, especially when they're green and glowing....Don't be scared off by bright, young, career women---they just want someone to respect them, to love them, and to fly them to the moon....There will always be another headless corpse, but true loves comes around maybe once....You can slam a door in a person's face once, but after that, don't do it again....Saving someone's life does not give you the right to live their life....When dismantling a bomb, always disconnect the green wire first....There's a lot to be said for family....Every cloud has a silver lining....Sometimes the truth is just staring you right in the face....Being with the one you love is stronger than being alone even if you are a Superhero....Big, fat pastrami is OK for breakfast when it'll save the Daily Planet....Trust is important; not even flowers, jewelry, or a Leer jet can take its place....You can't cheat justice twice....Lighting makes everything look bigger....Almost dying heightens your senses---kind of like putting on a pair of glasses....You don't have to have a reason to give a rose to the one you love....Never set up 2 trees with lights in an apartment when you don't have a robot around....DUH! Clark Kent is Superman!....Be careful pouring champagne while ogling; you may end up cleaning it up with your shoe....Don't ask a Superhero how long he can hold his breath....Stay away from green, glowing cabinets....Don't order Chinese food from a place called "Ralph's"....Please, call him Daniel....Even Superheros and world-famous reporters need to belong to someone....When someone turns down your marriage proposal, just plow some snow and keep the ring; they just may need some time....Don't ignore a mild-mannered reporter; you never know what lurks beneath the surface....Nothing on earth should make you think you can fool your mother....Anyone who pays $10,000 for a date with you and loved "Indecent Proposal" is bad news....It's hard to cry with a mask on....Remember, always consider your options....A disguise is not necessary at all times....Each person is abnormal in their own way....2 primary colors CAN work....Sometimes cyborg girlfriends can be useful, like in relaying messages received when stuck in a closet....The one, and sometimes only, person you can trust is your best friend....When someone makes sense to you, go with it....There's no time like the right time....In the never-ending battle for truth and justice, take time to fall in love....Take a chance....Never trust an old guy....Glasses can be deceiving....Don't call a girl by her last name...Make sure your head and heart are in the same place....Make sure you know what kind of bed your fiance expects....Your true love is just a small star in a big sky, not a big star in a small sky....If it goes on a salad, it doesn't go on a pizza....Before expecting a marriage proposal, make sure your intended is not a deranged psychopath....If your man can fly, you can stay mad....Without love in your life, it wouldn't be a life....If you can fly, you can get away with wearing your underwear outside your pants....If you have x-ray vision, it's OK to use it---sometimes....Don't hold in your fears; you'll have nightmares....Look beyond the exterior...Be careful in telling someone you had a crush on them in a death situation; you might be rescued by a man in blue and then have a lot of explaining to do....You never truly understand someone until you fly a mile in his cape....Blot, don't rub....Your one true love could be standing right next to you...
