Michael, I haven't commented on this story previously, mainly because I wasn't sure what I thought of it; some of your 'canon' seemed more from the comics than from L&C, and I'm not a comics fan, yet it seemed unfair to comment in any way on that given that you had made clear that you're writing an Elseworld which draws on some comic continuity.
That said... I have been reading, and with greater interest as more instalments have been posted, and finally today I decided that I owe it to you to
tell you that I've been reading and that your writing has overcome my somewhat anti-comics 'bias'. I really like what you did a couple of instalments ago around post-traumatic stress, and how that's preyed on Clark's mind since. Nice work with the broken jaw!
Your characterisation is really interesting. I like your Lois very much, and you write Henderson and Sawyer excellently. Batman was a surprise, but - strangely, given that I'm not a comics fan - I really enjoyed his cameo role here. You show him as an imposing character, but I like the friendly relationship he and Clark clearly have. I have the impression that Batman, if not acting as a mentor to Clark, then at least performs a supportive elder-superhero role for him, and I like that a lot. I loved that he stole the Kryptonite bullets!
All in all, a really nice story and some very promising writing - potentially a Best New Author nomination in your future, I suspect!
Wendy
