Well, ML managed to meet the challenge and have Clark deal with a Lois who has left him. He manages to make a life for himself...and Lois manages with her life. And she keeps them, more or less, in character.

But then she adds the epilogue. What a yucky way to end a great story.
But she tells it with great ML aplomb

Okay, Gerry. Let go of the epilogue obsession already . It's my story and I get to keep the epilogue if I want to .

(You can probably all tell by now what part of Gerry's advice on the story I didn't follow )

ML

I liked the story a great deal. I thought it was excellent and brave...up until the ending part which I thought kind of cheapened everything before it. It was such a shame given how committed the fic was to itself. A really great read nonetheless.

Kind of like Lois. I always knew they were similar creatures at heart.

Excellent contrast. I've known people of both types myself.

(singsong voice) some-body's not o-ver Lo-is...

BWAHahahaha! Does a girl this innocent really exist?

Yeah, um, don't get your hopes up, honey. And I wonder if Lois showing will finally make Kelly say something rude.

(Lisa is banging her head on her desk.) This woman deserves what she gets!

Yep. That. She deserved that.

I am still not entirely convinced all the old feelings are gone. Clark is still pretty pissed, and anger like that requires some deep emotion feeding it.

OMG. OMG!!!! Why didn't I suspect her of anything until this line? I am kicking myself for not thinking that Kelly was too good to be true. I just thought she was annoying.

How boring.

Too true.

This is a really awful woman, but, damn, that's funny!

Ok, again, awful, terrible woman, blah blah, but she sure is sharp. And it's funny to hear her tell him all the things he did wrong with another woman.

That's our Lois!

Slim to none, but, hey, you always were the lucky type, Lois.



Hmph. I bet that is Clark's kid.

Awww, MLT! I love L&C but I wish you hadn't negated the whole thing at the end, because it is a *great* story.

A reverse Tank ending. I like it!!

Wow!! Absolutely wonderful, and I for one LOVED the epilogue
(who thinks he's one of those who has a terrible time stomaching a non-LnC ending.. sorry )

Great story. Somehow, I doubted Kelly, if only because Martha did.

Well, when I opened this fic and read what all the disclaimers, I knew I had to stay up and read it. And I have several comments. But really... I'd better sleep on them, or I might put my foot in my mouth again - especially since I was initially given credit for the quote that started that other thread.

Hopefully, I'll have time to comment on the actual story, the details of, later. For now, I'll just say something about the fact that this is a Clark deathfic (but not really) and a Lois-moving-on fic (but not really).

Everybody knows that I hate Lois deathfics, and well, I totally, totally hate Clark-moving-on fics, too. For much of my life, I have been worrying about the fact that Superman treated Lois badly, and I have been afraid that he would dump her. I have felt, so intensely, that Lois has been treated unfairly.

I know, I know, she wasn't treated unfairly in LnC, and this site is dedicated to LnC, so I shouldn't let those other incarnations of Superman and Lois cloud my perception of LnC's Clark and Lois. For all of that, they do. I don't know if LnC's Lois deserves to be punished, to be killed, to have Clark leave her etcetera, but I do know that the Lois I grew up with didn't deserve to be treated like that. It hurts like hell every time I come across a Lois deathfic or a Clark-moves-on-fic. So I'm very grateful to the authors who write these fics for warning me to stay away from their stories.

I don't want to see Clark killed. I don't want to see Lois move on. But in view of the number of Lois deathfics, and the much talked-about recent Clark-moving-on fic, well, I can't help it... I needed a story like this one. A story that says that Clark can be killed, too (there's Kryptonite, remember?) and Lois can move on, too. And there are other nice guys who may like her, not just a scumbag like Lex who just wants to conquer her.

So I think of this story as a reminder that Clark, too, is mortal, and Lois, too, could move on. I don't want her to move on, and I don't want Clark to die, but in view of recent Lois deathfics and Clark-moves-on fics... Yes, I was glad to see this story here.

And somehow, I was a little depressed at the epilogue. It seems to me that we always offer Clark an "out". If we kill him, we usually revive him again. But if we kill Lois, she sure as heck stays dead. And if Lois moves on, she is usually made to go back to Clark again. (The only exceptions are the stories where Clark is absolutely unavailable, as in Becky Bain's "Per Aspera Ad Astra".) In the Clark-moves-on fics, he stays with his new woman, whether Lois wants him back or not.

I want to read Lois and Clark fics, where Lois and Clark both survive and get to be happy together. For all of that... yes, I liked this story, ML.

Ann

Well done. Well done.

I do agree that having it all be a bad dream lessens the story. So in my mind the Clark that wakes is the one in the Show's universe, the story of course took place in one of the many Alt'verses.

One of the things I liked best was having Clark be completely fooled by Kelly.

Again well done, very well done.

Patrick

Yes, Patrick, it was his connection to other worlds that gave him that dream.

So you posted, ML See Gerry is sticking to her guns about that epilogue.

Ah, but remember Lois had just spent two weeks searching frantically for Clark who had left town before her aborted first wedding. While she was going through all that heart-breaking angst he was catching some sun in the South Pacific.

I can see him now - bare chest gleaming in the tropic sun, swim trunks sculpted against his loins by the pounding surf....

c.

Glad to see you guys seem to be enjoying (or not ) the story.

I see the epilogue is causing a bit of a stir. But I could never write a true death fic. Sorry, guys, but I just don't have it in me. The problem is...

I agree with Ankit on this . I don't like death fics. I don't read death fics. And I really didn't want to write one. And hence, the epilogue. Call it my security blanket if you will.

And I like suez's comment:

But I also like this idea by Patrick:

I guess I can live with this taking place in some universe that I don't have to ever visit . Lois and David live happily ever in that far away, never to be thought of again universe after while our Lois and Clark are safely tucked in bed together still very much in love.

That's why I wrote the story, Ann. But I can only do what I can do and I can't actually let either Lois or Clark die in the end. I am too much of a Lois and Clark (together) fan for that.

Besides, in my mind the epilogue is the whole point of the story .

One more point:

Actually, Carol, it was three months (not two weeks) that she spent searching for him, crying herself to sleep every night. So please give poor Lois a break, guys .

Anyway, glad you seem to be enjoying my... what did Suez call it now... Reverse Tank ending .

ML

(I hadn't read the above comments before posting; didn't want them to color my own)

This was very well-done, ML. Depressing but well-written -- the way Clark sulked and then fell for Kelly, the way Lois was lost without him and ended up settling for Lex anyway. I don't like seeing either of them with anyone besides each other, but this was handled really well, and it was definitely believable.

It's just like Lex, too, to have some sort of scheme to keep Clark occupied & away from Lois. The slow poison was a little less expected, but explained a lot... and although I wasn't real happy that Clark died, at that point it was probably the best resolution. If he'd survived the poison, the news that he'd been raising Lex's kids would have killed him anyway. At least David's a genuinely nice guy; Lois deserved that after all the slow torture.

And the last scene that says it was all a nightmare (which it certainly was)... well, all the preceeding scenes were so well-done that the last one felt kinda tacked-on and disconnected. I know why you added it, but in a way, you didn't need to. Lois had fought her way through everything, made a good life for herself, and that was a happy ending. To have Clark wake up was like negating all that struggle and triumph. You know I love my happy endings, but the final scene at the DP *was* a happy ending, for me.

Now, don't get me wrong -- I'm not planning on printing this out and re-reading it a lot of times <g> But I'm not sorry I read it. Good work!

PJ

Given all the epilogue comments (not to mention Patrick's brilliant idea ), I tried a rewrite. Do you guys think this works better? I need to hear from people who can't stomach Lois and Clark apart as well as people who felt that the epilogue negated the story.

I think I could live with this as a compromise. What do you guys think?

ML

I think that would work for me. It doesn't wipe out all the emotional energy I put into the story, but it's a nice reminder that this was, after all, only one story and that there are thousands others, with thousands of variations on the basic theme.

PJ

It would work for me as a compromise, too.

Ann

Interesting that no one's commented on all the satirical bits that are in the story. Does the epilogue negate the satire, I wonder?

Still Lois wound up with Mr. Right in both universes which is never a bad thing.

Well, ML, it is a better epilogue, but only because you need to see Lois and Clark together. I felt that the story was strong enough on it's own without you needing to massage our sensibilities.

The thing is that you wrote an excellent story that turned the expected upside down and gave us an opportunity to see how Lois and Clark would react when life was handing them lemons. That's okay because you made their motivation clear and their actions had consequences.

I thought Ms Lebonne (French for the Good) was a little too swallow since she was too Stepford, but I could accept her for who she was, and I only got suspicious when Clark was getting too tired. Bad Ms Lebonne

Gerry put things perfectly. I feel like a traditionally "happy" ending (even ending #2) is a bit contrived and excessive for a fic like this where things unfold pretty much like they should. It's not the satisfaction I get when they end up all happy, but it's a satisfaction of things ending up "in their place." And it's the best kind IMHO for a fic like this when a pasted happy ending seems out of place (even a nod to the happiness outside this particular 'verse when no alt-verse thing ever came up in the fic).

And maybe it's my own liberal take here, but I didn't find any of the plot points ridiculous in the story's context. That's why I have a problem seeing this as a satire. If in the scene where David tells her he hopes Lois will love him, she had looked at him and jumped into his arms and started saying she loved him, then I wouldn't hesitate. After all isn't satire the presentation of ridiculous things in a serious tone? (What is key to me is that they _remain_ ridiculous--so certainly if you think it is simply insane for Lois and Clark to even consider loving other people, then sure.) But things I would normally think odd were given a perfectly logical basis. And even moments when I arched the proverbial eyebrow had little flashes of awareness-- take when Kelly says she wants to be a mother, etc--she then shrugs and says she supposes it doesn't make her very ambitious. Just that awareness jarrs this out of satire for me, which as a genre is based on taking everything as what it is.

This is probably due to my own milage since genre is in the eyes of the reader. Still, I kinda felt like I wish I had known that the WHAM would be reversed before I started reading. All those warnings seem so empty now.

I feel like I should still reiterate that the fic was still pretty good regardless. Certainly, I like that it brings up these sorts of issues for me.

Well, thanks, guys, for the opinions.

You're right, Gerry. I absolutely need to see Lois and Clark together at the end. It lets me know that all is right in the universe .

I think my favorite satirical bit is the comparision of these two passages:

And this one:

Portraying Lex as the one who is able to forgive and Clark as the one who is unforgiving .

On the other hand, Kelly as the perfect woman is a satire, too. Still, we all know her - the woman whose personality changes when she's trying to snag a husband. And we sit back and look at her poor target and say, "He has no idea what he's getting himself into." (Or is that just me )

However, Kelly is that woman in the extreme. The woman who says 'H-E double toothpicks' is the woman who is slowly poisoning him with kryptonite. To me, that's satire.

ML

Following is my personal opinion, and should not be taken as anything more than that.

I think the story stands on its own without the original epilogue. The altered one actually works better for me, since it allows a version of Lois to survive losing Clark forever and still find a large measure of happiness in life. When you send it to the archive, I strongly suggest using the second epilogue, or you can consider using the slight edit I have made in the last portion.

There. Doesn't that look even more interesting?

LOL, Terry. But that, of course, misses the point of ML's story.

c.

I'm gonna throw my 2 cents in here. I read this story last night immediately after it was posted and let it digest overnight. I've read all the comments. Isn't this the way they ended "Dallas" with Bobby in the shower? And the Bob Newhart show (he woke with Suzanne Pleshette in bed with him instead of the woman that was his wife in the series - where they owned the B & B).

These types of stories take our imagination to a new level and then yank us back to the status quo - (i.e., it never really happened, but "what if" it had?)

Even though you told us that we could scroll down to the end to see the (implied) surprise ending, I didn't. I really bought into that you were going to kill off Clark and Lois was going to bring up his kids, only 1 of which was really his. And the irony - that the other child was fathered by Lois' deceased husband - was great.

I was half expecting that H.G. Wells would pop up and offer Lois a chance to go back in time to save Clark...

perhaps he could still show up and bring her to a world where Clark still exists and lost his Lois? (like Alt-Clark, where Lois was lost in the Congo)....

Anyway, I totally appreciate your wanting a happy ending....and in this world where true love seems to be a losing proposition for many, I love the idea that Lois and Clark are destined to have that type of love that transends time and space....

So...after all that...ML, you're the author. Feedback is good, but ultimately you make the decision. Either way, we'll always read what you write!! That's a promise!

I'm just getting started, but I wanted to comment on this one right away.

Why is it with all the Lois Luthor stories I've ever read, you're the first one who's ever thought of this? It never crossed my mind, that's for sure.

Also, that's the best back-story for why Lois would marry Lex that I've ever met.

I'll add more as I read more.

Elisabeth

Love the alternative, Terry . Don't suspect I'll use it (even if part of me has to admit I'm tempted ). But thanks for the laugh.

And thanks for the comments, Chris. I realize that it's my decision, but I'm really not sure what I'm going to do.

At this point, I'm not even entirely certain I'm going to send it to the archives. So at least for now, anyone who wants no epilogue should just ignore the one provided. Anyone who wants my original epilogue should use it. And anyone who likes my revised epilogue should just use that (How's that for diplomatic ).

Me, I need my Lois and Clark. My universe tilts over funny when something happens to them .

ML

Hey ML,

That certainly was interesting. I'm glad that CJ was "super" and that Lois found happiness. But I suppose I liked it even better when Clark woke up from his nightmare!

Thanks for sharing your imagination with us!
Write on!
Anne

ML, whatever you do, you must upload this to the Archive!!!!!

Ann

:
=========================

I do agree, I like seeing them together. One of the reasons why I hardly ever watch Smallville anymore, and only watched SR twice.

But the story was so strong, and it worked. It left one with a sense of the whole. But I do like the 2nd epilogue.


Patrick

If this was meant as satire, I obviously read it wrong. I skipped the warnings on the top, so I wasn't expecting anything in particular; maybe that would have clued me in. There was irony in spades, but I still don't see it as satire. It seemed a lot more like a tragedy to me.

Oh, well.

PJ

First, didn't Carol already say in the Clark Moves on Thread in the fanfic related forum that she'd made a mistake about your quote, Cassandra? I don't think you have anything to worry about there.

I didn't write this story because of any one fic. I wrote it because after reading the thread in the fanfic related forum, I got the impression that there had been a spade of Clark moves on fics (unless I misunderstood - which, knowing me is entirely possible ). I wrote it because, as you might recall, I made a certain threat to correct the imbalance ). In fact, I think the last Clark moves on fic that I read was Butterfly Legacy (years ago). And in that one, Clark goes back to Lois in the end. I wrote it to correct what I saw as an imbalance. If there is no imbalance and there really is only one story out there where Clark moves on, then I was under a misimpression .

Oh well. If there is only one Clark moves on fic, then I guess one Lois moves on fic sets things back in order

Don't worry too much about it, Pam. As I told Carol yesterday, I think my satire suffers in translation. I'm much more satirical in person .

ML

It’s Classicalla. Yes, she did. I did say I was initially ‘blamed’ for the quote.

Well, you know at the time, I thought so, too, but now that I rethink that, I’m not so sure. I can only really think of two. But that doesn’t mean anything.

I was referring specifically to the fic which had feedback in it that started the whole moving on thread.

Anyway, this was a great fic.

I enjoyed this. I was suspicious of Kelly almost from the start, but I think it's just because I really don't want to see Clark with anyone but Lois. But I never suspected all sorts of hidden agendas and feelings on her part - everything with Lex and Trask took me completely by surprise.

And the fact that it was too late to save Clark. I wasn't expecting that either! I was sure that even though it was horrifically close, that the kryptonite wouldn't quite kill him.

I think I would personally prefer the story without the epilogue, but I understand perfectly your need for one. And for me your epilogue rewrite works better than the first one, so I hope you will include it as an option if you post it to the Archives.

Since I'm not up-to-date on my reading, I haven't seen a spate of "Clark and/or Lois moving on" stories recently, but perhaps some have slipped by me. Of course, two or three stories do not portend a long-lived future trend. If so, then we'll also have to worry that there will never be any TOGoM stories ever again, since there were none within the past year.

But no matter how much angst we, as writers and/or readers, may want to put Clark and Lois through, I think we all want to see them come out triumphant and together at the end of almost every story...if not every story.

Kathy

Wow, what a story! This was awesome, especially the double irony of Clark not getting Lois and Lois not getting Clark. And the way Clark begs Lois to take care of his children - it was so totally heart-wrenching.

Still, I would recommend that fic because it's well-written and all. But I could have done without the epilogue.

ML, thanks for taking my suggestion in the spirit in which it was intended. I meant no criticism towards yourself, your story, or your original epilogue. This was and is your story. You write it the way you want it to be. And I think you should send it to the archives with any explanatory text you might want to add.

Having said that (and having meant it), my opinion is still that the piece stands on its own without the need of any epilogue. The drama of Lois overcoming all that heartache and mental torture is greatly reduced if she didn't actually do all that in some alternate reality. You've given us a wonderful Lois, one who overcomes all kinds of mistakes and stupidity to end up with a man who loves her and not her money, a family who support her and love her unconditionally, and the continuing legacy of Superman.

I liked your story. You're an excellent writer, and I hope to read more offerings from you in the future. I can't promise to love every word, but I will promise to give every word a chance.

And you stick to your guns, you hear? Not everyone likes everything. That's why we have ninety-eleven kinds of fast food and sandwich shops popping up all over the place. You write what you want to write. And thank you for writing this.

Thanks for your comments, Kathy, Olympe and Terry. I appreciate them.

As for the epilogue... part of me still thinks that the original epilogue is the right choice. I put you through all that emotional angst only to tell you at the end that I'm just kidding . (Okay, I admit it. I have an evil side

Oh, wow! this was so beautiful. I'm barely able to form coherent thoughts here, let alone write some decent feedback, but, oh! I absolutely LOVED this story. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Still feel like I'm just getting started, but I'm posting fdbk as I go.

Boy, that has a yuck factor I just didn't see coming.

Nice little exchange. Sweet and cute.

Oh, yeah. A definate yuck. Of course, I didn't like her the moment I found out she didn't bfeed.

Of course, he did. So why haven't I thought of that before? And why haven't I read that in any other fic?

You have a way of making my skin crawl like no one else can. Yuck. This is the worst villain I've read in eons.

What a poetic description of where there friendship has gone.

Elisabeth

Thanks for the feedback, Lara and Elisabeth. I'm glad that you enjoyed the story.

ML

You're welcome, but I'm not done yet. I swear--I'm finishing tonight.

Lovely. That means that by extension Lois and Kelly have been having sex. (Oh, yeah; and Lois and Clark, too.)

This is poignant, honest, touching.

I have to admit that I didn't really emotionally process Clark's death. It just happened too fast and Clark is too beloved of a character. But maybe I'll get back to that feeling later.

Any adoptive parent will tell you they were Clark's kids.

You are a wicked, wicked woman.

Lisa said: Guilty as charged, but you still love me. Don't you?

There you go making my kind sound bad again. We're not bad. Honest. And I swear, just because I'm a good girl doesn't mean I would kill Superman.

And to weigh in on the epilogue idea, I felt it was a beautiful story and didn't care for the epilogue. Still, I recommended it to James, so it didn't ruin it for me.

Elisabeth

I'll probably rot in H-E-double-toothpicks for this, but I was laughing my a-dash-double-wiggley-snakes off for pretty much the entire ride. Real glad to know that this was meant as satire before reading!

And I found the epilogue to be amusing.

I don't know, Elisabeth. I'm a little suspicious of you now .

Glad to see that someone shares my twisted sense of humor, Catherine

Anyway, thanks to everyone for your feedback. It's been... interesting

ML