Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK - With A Source (3/3)

Thanks to Lynn for some last-minute betaing.

And to Alisha for some requests that took away my reliance on WAFF

Corrina.

This was fabulous--definitely one of the best stories I've ever read.

The plot was excellently handled--as always--and the characters were so well-drawn that I could see them in my mind's eye without even trying.

The scene where she's in his apartment and dithering over the two/one article(s) was one of my favorites, particularly the cool moment when Superman just oh so casually drops in with dinner and then leaves and Clark enters, accepting it all so casually. It was humorous, dramatic, and so perfect.

It's a very interesting alt-world set up here with lots of neat premises. Will Lois really accept him running off on her? How much harder will Clark have to work to make her see him instead of the superhero when she's already so clearly outlined in her mind every reason he's not on a level with Superman?

My favorite lines were the ones where Lois was thinking on what she brought to the partnership as opposed to Clark, and realizing what she would be 'stuck with' with him for her partner.

Excellent--thanks so much!

Loved it! An excellent story which is told very well from Lois's point of view. And I just adored this bit...

Laughed out loud for sure when I read that!

Thanks for yet another great read.

Cheers
Elizabeth

Nice job on the story. I wish there was more, I like the set up. But don't you have to get back to writing other things? I can't wait for the continuation of the other story. After that maybe you can continue this one. You are quickly becoming one of my favorite writers here! Laura

Great job! I loved how Lois got herself so worked up in a dither over Clark possibly getting the story first, over Clark not possibly having any writing talent to partner, over Clark having Superman as his source; she had herself so tied in knots and frustrated over it all. So much fun!

Great ending! I love the slight shift in perspective. Your opening quote had me thinking she knew Clark was Superman but Clark knowing Superman is a revelation in itself. Very clever.

Love the way you captured Lois' voice. Especially this:

Great job!

Joan

Everybody basically already said what I thought, but I will repeat this:

EXCELLENT STORY! and if in future your muse gets more ideas, you can always continue with this universe.

Ooh, that was great fun. Lois being forced to cooperate

That was an awesome story, Corrina! But yo could have just mentioned you'd like to claim a spot for best short story, too, in 2012. (I am guessing it's less than 50k, right?)

Michael

I love a good first season story, and this was an excellent first season story!

I would love to see more in this universe. This Lois is tons of fun, and this Clark is not an idiot.

Thanks!
Amber

This characterization of Clark is why I loved the show from the get-go. I love how he's so confident and talented, despite was Lois thinks of him. I kept waiting for him to get angry or insulted when Lois was being so rude to him about his story, yet he kept it together the whole way through, which only made his victory of having Superman deliver dinner that much sweeter.

And as I mentioned in my part 2 feedback, I like how Lois never even comes close to the truth -- she has a big revelation, all right, but reality is so much bigger that it just seems ridiculous.

(Oh, and I forgot to mention it in my comments on part 2, so I'll add it here -- I really, really liked how Clark questioned Lois on HOW Superman was supposed to stop the bad guys. He was so very brand new at being the superhero at this point, and he hadn't dealt with anything nearly this scary yet. He wanted to go, but he had no idea what he'd do when he got there. The whole exchange was nicely done.)

I can definitely see tons of possibilities for what comes next in this universe. I know you have a bunch of other stories on your plate, but if your muse decides it wants to play some more with this version of the characters, know that you'll have an eager audience. And hey, without prompts, this time you'd be able to satisfy your desire for WAFF.

Great job, as always!

Kathy

<points to Kathy's post above me> Yeah what she said.

Nice ending to a prologue for a new series, when you have time of course.

Superman flying in with take-out cracked me up. Boy is Lois going to feel silly when/if she finds out the real secret. Love the way you wrote them both here. Thanks for the great story.

Our Lois may be blind, but she knows prime beef when she sees it.

After I sent my ficathon requests I decided that I was going to have to apologise to the poor individual who got my requests, which I will admit were half written as a challenge when I ran out of ideas for what I wanted/didn't want, but I've decided not to apologise to you Corrina, because this is one of the best stories I've read in a while! You have absolutely no need to rely on WAFF, you didn't even use my little loophole I gave you in my requests:
See, you could have got away with a little bit of WAFF in there, I'm not totally cruel, or completely against WAFF when used in moderation!

Still, I loved this story, I'm so glad my requests turned into something this good. Nice little a-plot, good bantering between Lois and Clark and lots of good characterisation. Basically a big fat ditto to what everyone else has said. Thank you so much!

- Alisha (who is now throwing her current ficathon effort into the bin and trying to write something half as good as this)

Hi Corrina,

This was very imaginative. This feels similar to Lois of early S1 but to me she comes across much colder.

I like the story, but I suspect that this universe will never lead to a relationship or even mild friendship between Lois and Clark. This Lois strikes me as (dare I say it) almost Lex-like in calculating how to use Clark. She is making a cold, calculating decision to get close to him for purely mercantile reasons. The fact that she’s entering the partnership with such base purposes suggests to me that she’ll never see Clark as anything other than a means to an end.

Have you been looking at the old 40’s comics? This is exactly the kind of behavior that I see in that version of Lois. This is what she would do. So, I guess there is some potential for this Lois to see Clark as something more than a weak coworker to be taken advantage of. It just might take 50 years.

Bob

Can I be lazy and just ditto KathyB's comments? No?

I really enjoyed this ficathon story. We got inside Lois' head (which I love), but what really had my mouth dropping in awe was your ability to get inside Clark's and provide him with appropriate responses to Lois' provocative behaviors. This is exactly why 'Mad Dog Lane' never scared Clark away and why after earning her grudging respect in "Neverending Battle", they not only became partners and friends, but best friends.

Bob said:
I admit to not knowing the comic book Lois as well as you do, Bob, but I daresay that Lois's realizations throughout this piece that Clark wasn't responding as expected would soon change her tactics. It's Clark's ability to keep his cool, yet still show Lois that he can't be pushed around (eg. the wild goose chase through the Metropolis Reclamation Facility in search of a godzilla doll) or in Corinna's story - Clark's determination to keep his source's secrets - that will ultimately shift Lois' mercenary attitude to respect. Once he's inside that first defense, she won't stand a chance.

Great story!

Now get back to Trusting Me, Trusting You. I'm dying for an update over here!

BJ

Good point, Bob! But I see this Lois as "damaged" Lois. For whatever reason (her upbringing, her parents, the thing with Claude), she's become this cold, calculating user-reporter. Now she's someone who lashes out, who can't believe that anyone could have a friend or be a friend.

Corrina shows this very well.
So, right now, we have bitter, angry, driven Lois.


And I agree with BJ, too:

Because this Clark refuses to fight back. He just stands up for what he believes in. He won't respond to Lois's pokes or threats or insinuations or clever ploys. He'll just do what he thinks is right. Lois will wonder how he can be like that. She'll come to respect him (heck, she's already starting that at the end of the fic!) Then, as BJ said, she'll really start to like him. And because she likes him and he likes her, she'll start to like herself a little bit more too. And then it'll snowball.

BJ said: You're probably right. When I read this story Lois just felt exceptionally cold.

When I finished the story, this is what popped into my mind. These are the story ideas I don't write. But I get them. Especially when Bev has been out-of-town for a week.

Anyway, this is a good story and I do believe very true to Lois as she was in the early comics. That fact that this Lois struck me as exceptionally cold doesn't take away from the quality of the work.

Bob

/falls on floor laughing/


Bob, I think you should post this right now in the Humor Folder! (if there is such a thing)

'Don't you just love the irony?'
Tempus's last words before he disappears in the void after foiling Utopia by destroying the Earth.

Michael

I like this!


Great story, Corrina.


And great ideas, Bob. It also had me LOL.