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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
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I used the crime statistics in 1990 New York City for 1987 Metropolis in my story. But I would note that the city has managed to cut its crime rate significantly since then. See: http://www.nyc.gov/html/nypd/downloads/pdf/crime_statistics/cscity.pdf (And thanks to all of you who helped me find and interpret these stats) ML 
She was in such a good mood she let all the pedestrians in the crosswalk get to safety before taking off again.
- CC Aiken, The Late Great Lois Lane
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Oooh! So many good parts to quote! “If Superman had approached the train from this end, he would have stood a better chance of preventing further loss of life. That is one of my big problems with Superman. Allowing a creature as strong as Superman, with no knowledge of science, to assist at accidents such as this is just asking for disaster.” /Jaw drops at sheer effrontery of man looking gift horse in the mouth/ I just want to smack this guy right upside the head! (which shows how well you've written this.) She still had her taped interview with Cat, but without supporting evidence, she could hardly take it to Paul. You know, since Linda stole Lois's story, what is Cat going to think when the story appears under Linda's byline and Cat's interview isn't involved in the story? “This garbage you submitted on the fire. It’s not a story - it’s an editorial. The Daily Planet is not your personal forum for defending your actions. If there is an editorial to be written on your activities during the train accident, I’ll be the one to write it, not you. Your job is to write the news.” And the hits just keep piling on Clark... Besides, there had to be hundreds of officers in Metropolis. What were the chances that she’d ever run into this particular one (Henderson) again? Heh heh heh. “So there have been six murders this past year. What does that...”
“Those are the statistics for last night.” And the scary and sad thing is that you used real stats.  The stories Henderson had shared with her, just about one night in the big city, had both humbled and horrified her. She looked up at the buildings that were lit by the morning sun and swore that she would devote her life to making this city a better place. I really like this "first meeting" between Lois and Henderson. It makes total sense, and from now on I'm going to think that's the way things really happened. And I love that Lois gets her underlying purpose clarified from her meeting with Henderson. Reaching over, he picked up the phone to place a call to an old friend. A reporter he’d first met during his tour of duty in Nam. The now editor of the Daily Planet.
“Perry White, please. Tell him Bill Henderson is calling.” Yep! And this happened too! Grabbing his cloth, he began dabbing at the plans. When he finally stopped, he breathed a sigh of relief. They were still legible - or well, mostly legible. There was one section that was a little difficult to decipher, but he thought he could understand it well enough. Heh heh heh again. Why do I think this little coffee spill will have a major influence on the plot?  Not only was she tired and frustrated from a night spent trying to track down her story, but now she had missed the deadline for getting stories submitted to the Ink and Quill and... she was late for class! Could this day get any worse? Lois, Lois, Lois! Never, never ask that question. Believe me, it can always get worse. As you're about to find out. 
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Wonderful story! This Clark has so much piled on him. His natural tendencies are to obsess that he didn't do enough. Instead of getting told that "what he can do is enough", he's getting told that he could do better. That is horrible! I laughed at the coffee spilling on the blueprints. So THAT'S why Clark ends up in 1976!
Perry: (To Lois) Honey, this could be greatest story since Superman came to town. By-the-by, where is that husband of yours?
--Faster Than a Speeding Vixon
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Wow!!! (Sorry for not commenting on the previous parts, but I immensely enjoyed them).. I love how despite our heroes living in different timelines in the beginning, this is very much a Lois AND Clark story. I like the parallel storylines format. I laughed out loud at Clark throwing in duffel bags in the time machine. I think this is the first time a time-traveler has the presence of mind to pack for a trip. Super! One thing that scares me is how a small change might have a huge impact. Say, if Clark was to intervene in the Linda-stealing-story incident and help Lois catch Linda before she visits the precinct. Does that mean she does not meet Henderson who in turn does not make his friend Perry White aware of Lois Lane. How would that influence Lois' eventual interview at the Daily Planet? Although knowing Lois... :-) Looking forward to the unraveling and the changing-with-time plot! 
If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.
Waking a Miracle by Aria
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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And now things are really heating up! I think you did a great job of showing how Clark's life is spiraling out of control. Where before, I could worry along with Wells about what might happen if he changed the past, I'm now thinking it might be worth the risk, because things are clearly going on the wrong direction in the present. I don't blame Clark for just losing it; he's absolutely right -- it's too much to expect, of anyone, yet alone someone without any support system. (And I just wanted to wring Carpenter's scrawny little neck, so clearly you did a fabulous job writing those scenes!) When Lois's room was trashed so completely, I was even more sure it was the coach who was trying to stop her; that seems the act of an adult with a lot of anger, not a college student who is just trying to get ahead. But I'm guessing, from the way you ended the section, that it really was Linda all along. Wow; that is *really* telling of what kind of person Linda is. This was clearly premeditated and well planned and took effort to enact. If Linda spent half that amount of time finding her own story, she would already be a star. (Though Iolan has a great point; would Cat Grant be willing to state that she'd talked to Lois and never to Linda? Or if Molly could figure out who logged onto the computer after Lois, to be able to say who erased the computer file. Grrr, can you tell I'm really feeling for Lois here?) BTW, I really like how you've brought Linda into the DP in the future just as all this is unfolding in the past; not only does it tell us that she managed to parlay Lois's story into a career, but by putting her and Preston together, you're showing us exactly what kind of newspaper the Daily Planet is becoming and exactly why Clark needs to get out of there. On a more specific note, I also really liked the way you introduced Henderson to the story -- this is a fabulous first meeting between him and Lois, both in the lessons she learns from him about crime in the Metropolis and what the police have to deal with and in how she's clearly impressed him, as well. And the fact that he knows Perry and decides to put in a word ... awesome! And I definitely got a grin out of Clark spilling his coffee on the Time Machine plans -- hey, it's only one little part that he can't decipher properly. What could possibly go wrong? Darn these EoD postings; I want my next fix now! (Oh, and just to add: Clark in his black leather jacket as he goes back in time? Swoon! ) Kathy
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Columnist
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Columnist
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Great part again! Loved the "first" meeting with Henderson and Lois and that he decided to call Perry White. The coffee spill was a good idea - I guess this leads to a bigger time ripple than Clark initially planned on? Ready for more!!!
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Everybody above has made excellent points. I especially agree about this being a Lois AND Clark story, even though they aren't together (yet!). I also love how you are filling in the gaps in characters, like Henderson helping Lois get an 'in' with Perry.
Looking forward to more!
Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way.
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
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Sorry I'm so late to the party, and I'm even sorrier that I have no time for any decent FDK. On the other hand, Kathy's post was splendid, and I agree with everything she said.
Looking forward to seeing Clark setting sail on the choppy waves of time trying to find and save Lois!
Ann
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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I am LOVING this ML! I can't wait to see what happens when LL finds out Linda stole her story!! Oooo and Linda is gonna show up to the party with Paul and don't they make fun of her or something... I could be getting canon confused with fics. Looks like maybe Michael's guess from the last part is correct. I bet that coffee makes him end up in the wrong year! Post the next part tonight, yes?? 
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always
depend on the support of Paul.
-George Bernard Shaw
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
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His ears still partially focused on the television, he couldn’t help hearing New Troy’s Governor’s science advisor, Robert Stafford, begin to speak about the accident. Stafford was well known for his anti-Superman stance. Hmm... looks like the years haven't helped our little science editor mellow down a bit. Although, I have to say, he seems to be quite the xenophobic prick compared to what I remember from the show. Even considering he was twisted and evil there. More machine than man... And we simply can’t expect a reporter to do the job meant for a well-trained emergency worker or a doctor. I understand that there were some injuries last night that, if Superman had been a qualified medical doctor, could have been dealt with much more efficiently - sparing people from further injury. Yes, and saving 50% of the people instead of 80% is certainly far less optimal than not doing anything and letting the emergency services rescue about 30%, huh? And Stafford is not even an *elected* politician. Instead, he's just a bureaucrat and still allowed to spew such crap. She’d insist that they look for DNA evidence. And then, when she identified who had done this, she would nail their butts to her wall - right beside her poster signed by Norcross and Judd! Sure... sure... anything else? Maybe a Pulitzer? :rolleyes: Insolent youths... “This garbage you submitted on the fire. It’s not a story - it’s an editorial. The Daily Planet is not your personal forum for defending your actions. If there is an editorial to be written on your activities during the train accident, I’ll be the one to write it, not you. Your job is to write the news.” To be fair, dear Preston might lack the people skills needed to run a ship like that but Perry would have done the same thing. Just presented it differently... “Perry White, please. Tell him Bill Henderson is calling.” Your Henderson is great!  Loved the entire scene /wonders how that's different from the rest of the part. Or the story so far/  Oh well... Grabbing his cloth, he began dabbing at the plans. When he finally stopped, he breathed a sigh of relief. They were still legible - or well, mostly legible. There was one section that was a little difficult to decipher, but he thought he could understand it well enough. At first, I thought you might do something sneaky, like just dropping hints later on that lead back to the changes in the coffee spill. But no, you just plowed straight ahead  Passing by a newspaper dispenser for the Ink and Quill, she absently picked up the latest edition. Yawning, she looked at the front page.
Suddenly, she was wide awake.  I'm probably not going to be able to comment on the next part. Reading, yeah, but no comments till Sunday and I'm sure I'll be wanting to say a lot. But commenting separately after two parts *sigh* Michael Edit: Oh and how did Linda manage to make it to the Planet? Given Lois's backstory with Perry. Probably somebody Preston dragged away from the nearest street corner where she was selling for 50 an hour.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,656 |
quote:
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Could this day get any worse?
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Lois, Lois, Lois! Never, never ask that question. Believe me, it can always get worse. As you're about to find out. You'll find that question seems to get asked a lot during this story. I love how despite our heroes living in different timelines in the beginning, this is very much a Lois AND Clark story. I like the parallel storylines format. I'm glad you're enjoying the parallel storyline's format. I really struggled with that - trying to figure out what worked best for telling the story. I sort of worried that this part where I use the parallel storyline might make the story too disjointed. Glad to hear that you think it worked. I think this is the first time a time-traveler has the presence of mind to pack for a trip. When writing the story, I had no idea what clothing, etc., Clark might need during his trip, so I had him throw in a couple of duffle bags. Figured whatever he needed after that could be found in the bags . So it wasn't really Clark who was thinking ahead - it was me. I think you did a great job of showing how Clark's life is spiraling out of control. Where before, I could worry along with Wells about what might happen if he changed the past, I'm now thinking it might be worth the risk I'm glad I managed to convey that idea. I wanted to convey the idea of Clark's life as being pretty bleak - as he told the other Lois during Lois and Clarks - so that the reader, even if they were still worried about the risks, might be able to understand Clark's motives in doing what he does. Oh, and just to add: Clark in his black leather jacket as he goes back in time? Swoon! Well, hopefully you're not the only one who will swoon over this hip-looking Clark. Hmm... looks like the years haven't helped our little science editor mellow down a bit. Although, I have to say, he seems to be quite the xenophobic prick compared to what I remember from the show. Even considering he was twisted and evil there. Well, this is an alternate universe - although it's one that isn't all that removed from ours. But don't expect everyone to be exactly the same or make exactly the same choices in life. For example, the actress who plays Cat on the show is a bit older than Lois and Clark. In this universe, however, her parents didn't have her until they were a bit older. Oh and how did Linda manage to make it to the Planet? Given Lois's backstory with Perry. Perry's not at the Planet - he's Mayor of Metropolis. Lois is not at the Planet - she's missing in the Congo. Preston Carpenter likes Linda so Linda gets the job - she's only been working there for a few weeks, after all. Anyway, I enjoyed all the comments - even the ones I didn't respond to directly. I'm glad you're all enjoying the story so far. ML
She was in such a good mood she let all the pedestrians in the crosswalk get to safety before taking off again.
- CC Aiken, The Late Great Lois Lane
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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Posts: 1,656 |
Oh, a couple more comments I wanted to respond to and forgot.  I really like this "first meeting" between Lois and Henderson. It makes total sense, and from now on I'm going to think that's the way things really happened. And I love that Lois gets her underlying purpose clarified from her meeting with Henderson. Yep! And this happened too! Glad you enjoyed it that much.  Oooo and Linda is gonna show up to the party with Paul and don't they make fun of her or something... I could be getting canon confused with fics. I think you're confusing canon with fics. As to what happens at the party, assuming Lois even bothers going, well, you're just going to have to keep reading.
She was in such a good mood she let all the pedestrians in the crosswalk get to safety before taking off again.
- CC Aiken, The Late Great Lois Lane
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Notice, ML, the enthusiasm for Henderson in these comments. Now's the obvious moment to retool this so that Lois and Henderson wind up in a a bit of time when they're both roughly the same age, and a little, um... interlude follows. Just saying.  carol
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,656 |
In your dreams, Carol. Oh, wait. It is in your dreams. Still not going to happen. Btw, Carol. Check your email. I sent you an editor type question I need answered before posting the beginning of part two. ML
She was in such a good mood she let all the pedestrians in the crosswalk get to safety before taking off again.
- CC Aiken, The Late Great Lois Lane
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Preston Carpenter likes Linda so Linda gets the job - she's only been working there for a few weeks, after all. Oops, looks like a day of hard work completely reset my memory of Linda in the story Michael
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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I am trying to catch up on this one. I am such a sucker for time travel...
But with each post I am filled with greater dread. You are cluing us in on all these turning points in Lois' life. And now Clark is going to go back in time and make one change that is going to muck everything up, including changing Lois into someone that she is not, possibly.
I am almost afraid to read on...
James
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
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I am almost afraid to read on... Be afraid. Be very afraid. ML
She was in such a good mood she let all the pedestrians in the crosswalk get to safety before taking off again.
- CC Aiken, The Late Great Lois Lane
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