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#66123 09/14/09 05:06 AM
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Kerth
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Feedback here.

Thanks!

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Woo hooo! Progress! Good part, keep it coming. Strange about no rain for 23 years. I hope they are not on the desert side of mountains and have only to cross the mountains to find a lush forest.
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Okay, really short FDK - this was lovely!

Lois teaching Kal how to smile. Absolutely wonderful! I can just see them, her with her fingers gently on his face, lifting the corners of his mouth! And both of their hearts racing madly!

And Lois is speaking with her face - that's a lovley expression.

(It reminds me of a scientist or other who speculated that humans have recognized and been reading meaning into each other's faces for much longer than they have been able to speak. I have no idea if that is true or not, but I do think it is true that our brains are really busy studying other people's faces. We most certainly are face-freaks. Just think how comparatively uninteresting we find other people's knees, for example....)

And Lord Nor's plans are watertight? Watertight? What an interesting choice of words, given the current tightness of the water situation on Krypton. Say, you don't think that lack of rain is man-made? Krytonian-made? Lord Nor-made?

Another musing on Lord Nor's part was interesting, too:

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Could it be possible that Kal-El had finally managed to comprehend that there was more to life than coddling the underclass?
Kal has been coddling the underclass? He has been nice to people who aren't Lords? I'm not surprised, but it's good to hear it anyway.

Ann

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Sorry, I'm a little late joining in for FDK. I really liked the story so far, it's actually one of the most interesting ones I've been reading, recently. You perfectly describe the confusion of two worlds colliding and I'm pretty curious where this may lead.
I think this is the first time Nor is also involved and I'm wondering if the raining problem might be his fault?

Great writing, FemaleHawk!


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Great part, Corrina. Lois trailing after the concubines was eerie and her interactions with the lower casts is downright spooky. She probably creates one blunder after the other.

Wonder how Lois looks different enough that Nor finds her not only uninteresting but actually disgusting. And I did get the feeling that it wasn't just 'cause she smelled alien.

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I get the feeling you'd be quite happy if Nor *did* try to take Lois from Kal.
No, not really. It's just, after I've read When Galaxies Divide, Escape From New Krypton, and tons of other fic that's not NK centered, I've learned that it's best to expect Lois to get into all sorts of troubles and very bad situations huh Call me a Pavlovian Dog, but that's what reading too much LnC fic has done to me huh

The boiled socks. Since you mentioned the amount of water available for washing and that's for the supreme ruler, I can't help but wonder if NK isn't just suffering from the same effects as a Fremen sietch. You know, 20,000 unwashed bodies do start to make their presence known jump grovel Please? Pretty Please?

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whoa- intense.
i am unsure over the whole nor thing though, he must be contributing to the drought if possible. lets just focus on the love story, please?

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Heart breaking!


Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”

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@ Ann, re: the lack of rain being man-made. The same thought struck me, since there obviously *was* rain on this incarnation of New Krypton at some point; otherwise, where did the lakes and rivers come from?

Another possible explanation would be that New Krypton once had a normal atmosphere, with a normal capacity for producing the weather patterns we are used to on Earth, but has been gradually loosing it for some reason. If I recall correctly, this is what scientists currently think happened to Mars.

I'm going to bet that it isn't what happened to New Krypton, though, if only because if it is, I see no way to solve the problem other than to relocate the colony to some other planet, and I don't think the Kryptonians have the resources to do that within two months.

Also, Ann, you dorealize that even when you leave 'extremely short feedback', you're still well within the range of what most people consider a fairly elaborate feedback post, don't you? :p


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Hooray - the first smile! dance Lois finally got to see 'that' smile. Now she's well and truly besotted, though she was well on the way already. laugh

And Kal has a secret - some things never change!! wink

Another wonderful part and a lovely, heartwarming exchange between Lois and Kal. Can't wait for Part 7.

Emma


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Artemis I don't think I've ever actually said it, but I see NK as mostly flat - so no ... there's no paradise on the other side of the mountain!

I wanted to portray NK as a difficult natural environment. I think Ching said something about 'forging a life on an inhospitable rock'. Where I live has been in drought for so long, I think 'difficult' equals 'drought' for me.

It's amazing how you can hanker for puddles after awhile!

Thanks for reading and leaving FDK.

Ann Thanks for your FDK. I'm glad you liked the first smile.

I agree completely with what you say about our communication going far beyond mere words.

About Nor - this was just a small taste of who he is. (More coming - sorry!) His belief that Lois is ugly was meant to say more about his world view than Lois's looks. I don't think 'racist' is exactly the word to describe him, but he has the same unshakable belief that those who are different are inferior.

Similarly what Kal sees as providing fair and equitable leadership, Nor sees as 'coddling the underclass'.

bakasi Thanks for your comments.
I'm glad you're finding the fic interesting.

Michael There are reasons why Kryptonians behave the way they do towards Lois. However, for now, it's mainly contrast - compare the reaction from everyone else with how Kal treated her - from the first moment!

Sorry, Michael, there was no chance of Part 7 being there when you woke up. My buffer has gone from 5 parts to 4. Once I get Part 11 to Iolanthe, I'll post Part 7.

Thanks for all your wonderful FDK.

Sarah About the love story ... I realise we don't like Nor, but he has a crucial part to play in this love story, so much as we despise him, we're going to tolerate him for a time!!!

Thanks for your FDK, Sarah.

Laura Thanks for your comment, Laura.

Pedendang Thanks for your comments.

Just a question, if you had Nor somehow stopping it from raining, how would he achieve that? He's evil and power-hungry, but that doesn't mean he can control the weather.

Just wondering ...

Thanks for all your commments. I appreciate your input.

Emma

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And Kal has a secret - some things never change!!
I wondered if anyone would pick up on that!

Thanks for your FDK.


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I love this story!!! You really know how to tug at the heart!!


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A lot has already been said about how touching the interactions between Kal and Lois are. I'm struck by how isolated Lois truly is. Between culture clashes, xenophobia, and her high position (it's still lonely at the top), she really doesn't have anyone except Kal to talk to. And he has no one but Lois. So they really are thrown together. Good thing they like each other. wink

On the rain issue, New Krypton seems to be shrouded in a layer of clouds or dust. Since it's cold rather than hot, I'm thinking dust rather than clouds. Which is too bad, because for a while I was thinking about cloud seeding to get the water out. But, come to think of it, there must be water in their atmosphere. Water doesn't just disappear when we use it. It still ends up being deposited back into the water cycle one way or another. So, maybe cloud seeding would work? Or maybe the water is draining down into an inaccessible aquafer, in which case drilling wells would work. After all, if Krypton had a very reliable rain cycle, maybe they never learned to drill wells because they never needed to. Even a city girl like Lois knows about wells.

Other random thoughts: this whole fic has made me think about the absurdity of people assuming that Superman has just arrived from another planet. He is way too fluent in American language and customs for that. Even if he's been studying our culture for years, he should still stand out as a foreigner. I think it was 'In a Better Place' in which Lois realizes this and offers to help Superman present a better front.

And poor Lois, feeling undesirable because her master *hasn't* taken advantage of her. Even though we all know how livid and violated she would have felt if he *had.* So, does Lois get to teach Kal about comparative anatomy? Is Zara going to divorce him for consorting with the alien? Or is Lois going to figure out that what he calls a marriage is not what she calls a marriage and therefore not feel guilty about the adultery issue? After all, if Kal and Zara were on earth, they would qualify for a quick annulment.

And, yeah, what *is* Kal's secret? And what does it have to do with a mother searching for her child under a *yellow* sun?

Looking forward to seeing how this plays out.


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HappyGirl wrote:
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So, does Lois get to teach Kal about comparative anatomy?
Good question! Corinna, there is always the dark side of the boards for that, if you want to go into any sort of details! wink

More HappyGirl:
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Is Zara going to divorce him for consorting with the alien?
Good question. In any case, Kal's marriage is a very severe impediment to any sort of future he may have with Lois. Surely, Corinna, you are not suggesting that Kal might keep Lois "on the side" while still being married to Zara? eek

Still more HappyGirl:
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And, yeah, what *is* Kal's secret?
I'm wondering, too. Can his secret have anything to do with his isolation on New Krypton and the fact that he seems untouched by the more disagreeable aspects of New Krypton's culture and society?

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Well so far the pre-game show is xenophobia, language clashes, concubines & masters, treachery & treason afoot, and an entire culture of people threatened by the natural environment...and L&C are way too freaking cute together to worry about any of it right now. :p

Great part,
JD


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I'm thinking Kal's secret has something to do with the reason he's never been intimate with anyone in his entire life. It's something he's ashamed of, or something he's not capable of but doesn't dare to tell anyone about, or something along those lines.

And Corrina, I guess I was thinking more along the lines of the more typical causes of desertification, which are mostly anthropogenic, even though they can't be caused by a single person: overgrazing, over-cultivation, increased fire frequency, water impoundment, deforestation, overdrafting of groundwater, increased soil salinity, ... Sounds about right to me for a barren world populated by a bunch of desperate new colonists. I do believe in the theory that Nor might have been encouraging these things somehow, though, even if I have no idea how that would serve him.

I have no idea what to do about any of those, either, but I guess at least it's better than the idea that the planet might be losing its atmosphere altogether...


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Well, there might be a way to add water to New Krypton...

[Linked Image]

Catch a comet! They are usually very water-rich. There are no guarantees, of course, that the ices in the comet don't contain unwanted pollutants. But if the situation becomes desperate, a somewhat polluted comet is probably better than no comet!

(Oh, and... no. Nightfall would have been no help. That was an asteroid, and therefore it contained little or no water.)

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I love how everything is so different in this story ... yet so many things are exactly the same. Kal has a secret ... and Nor is plotting to take over the world. Some things never change. wink

I'd actually wondered whether everyone was being too hard on Nor in the earlier parts. After all, why would he want to take over a planet that was on the verge of collapse? But clearly he has bigger plans up his sleeve. (And clearly not all Kryptonians refuse to gossip, since Nor has received some inside info about how much time Kal is spending with Lois.)

I really felt for Lois as she ventured outside the El compound. The scene was a creative way to show us what the planet and the society was like, and I felt a strong sense of foreboding, just as Lois did. Well done. And you've really piqued my curiosity with Kal's hints about his planet's shameful past.

And, of course, I loved how Lois taught Kal to smile. I can only imagine what will go through his mind when she finally kisses him, LOL.

Oh, but I have to add, although a few others have dropped hints that they suspect where you are going with the mother under the yellow sun, I admit to being clueless! I took it at face value, as Ellen grieving for Lois, so don't think you've given everything away yet. And I'm really enjoying seeing it all unfold. smile

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Mel Glad you're enjoying it. Thanks for the FDK.

Happy Girl I loved your FDK because you skirt around some of the places we are going and if it makes sense to you, I have more confidence it will seem reasonable to everyone else!

Ann

Quote
Good question! Corinna, there is always the dark side of the boards for that, if you want to go into any sort of details!
When I was first thinking about this story, I knew it crossed the line and would have to be 'on the dark side'. However, as I wrote, I found myself drawn so much more to the 'sweetness' than the 'hotness', so edited accordingly.

I have no plans to post any of this fic on the nfic board.

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Good question. In any case, Kal's marriage is a very severe impediment to any sort of future he may have with Lois. Surely, Corinna, you are not suggesting that Kal might keep Lois "on the side" while still being married to Zara?
NEVER! I love Clark's/Kal's integrity and his respect for Lois. I would find it really difficult to go anywhere that undermined this.

And nice pic of the comet, too!

Shadow Thanks - you're right, this is basically a love story and the rest is just dressing.

Pedendang Thanks for your ideas re the climate.

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I'm thinking Kal's secret has something to do with the reason he's never been intimate with anyone in his entire life. It's something he's ashamed of, or something he's not capable of but doesn't dare to tell anyone about, or something along those lines.
Close ... so close.

Kathy Thanks.

I really don't want to say anything about Nor or the mother or Kal's secret ... so I'll just leave it at 'thanks'!


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Quote
When I was first thinking about this story, I knew it crossed the line and would have to be 'on the dark side'. However, as I wrote, I found myself drawn so much more to the 'sweetness' than the 'hotness', so edited accordingly.

I have no plans to post any of this fic on the nfic board.
And I have no objections. I love the sweetness here, too. Keeping your fic "on the daylight side of the boards" allows Kal and Lois to shine the G-rated sun of their love on a world where the sun doesn't shine.

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I loved the conversation between Lois and Tek.

And Kal is showing some emotions
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“Enough!” Kal said as he stood. “I have heard enough.”
Is he getting impatient for getting back to Lois? laugh

I am really curious about what Nor is planing
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And his destiny was to rule New Krypton.
eek

Great Part!


Kathryn

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