|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,099
Top Banana
|
OP
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,099 |
Excellent, Jocelyn.  I always love reading scenes that saw on screen re-explored much more thoroughly. I love the details you added, like Clark checking for signs of lock-pick and Lois talking to herself on the couch. Of course, just like in the show I *wish* she'd had time to say that she needed him (*whacks Clark upside the head with a Kryptonite-coated two by four for interrupting her*), but he did hear enough to (hopefully) shift the basis of their relationship in the near future. I rarely yell for sequels, but I think here it'd be nice if what Lois let out caught up to her. She *needs* him! WAHOOOOOO!!!  Kaethel 
- I'm your partner. I'm your friend.
- Is that what we are?
- Oh, you know what? I don't know what we are. We kiss and then we never talk about it. We nearly die frozen in each other's arms, but we never talk about it, so no, I got no clue what we are.
~ Rick Castle and Kate Beckett ~ Knockout ~
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992 |
Jocelyn A wonderful story!  Tricia 
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454 |
I loved this, Jo! You caught Lois perfectly! I caught myself chuckling at so many of her lines that I almost copied the entire story to quote back to you! There was this: “I agree, Clark is a fine journalist, and I’m surprised he didn’t consider a better paper to work for, but Lois… he was just your partner.”
Now he’d crossed the line.
“I resent that! I resent it because I… you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to get him back, because at least one of us is thinking clearly about this. I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that, and I’m going to go.”
She stalked to the door, the same purposeful stride taking charge again, but pivoted and turned towards the aging editor.
“Tell Jimmy that I hear they have a terrible medical plan.” Ouch! Nice needling, Perry! And I loved the way Lois responded to it. In love and feeling rejected? Not much!  This had me in stitches: “I’m opening this door, and if you’re naked – tough!” A sequel would be a lot of fun, Jo - however, I haven't forgotten that you also have another story which you need to finish. You hear?  Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
“When did you get a key?” He crossed his arms across his chest, and waited for a reply, his amusement barely concealed within his dark eyes.
Lois lifted her chin defiantly, narrowing her eyes slightly, before opening her mouth to dignify him with a response. “I had one made,” she said quickly. “That is not the point, Clark  LabRat (break over...on with beta-reading. All this great new fic to read; I'm getting spoiled...)
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,202
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,202 |
Lovely, Jo. You did a great job. Thanks for making me laugh while reading this. And write more! I'd love to read more from you. Saskia
I tawt I taw a puddy cat!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 111
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 111 |
LOL great fic! And it fits in so well with the episode. Well done
Avatar: Michael Clarke, awesome Aussie cricket player
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
I can't say as I approve of these stories where there aren't any smoochies or cluechies... but this one was very well done, Jocelyn! I could really see Lois all the way through this. Write more -- for instance, a sequel could be quite nice! <g> PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,047
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,047 |
Jo,
This is really wonderful. You have such a great "ear" for dialogue, which is a joy to read, and a favorite of mine!
Also, your writing is rich in details, and they are just dead on.
Can't wait to read more from you!
CC-
You mean we're supposed to have lives?
Oh crap!
~Tank
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great story. “Lois?” Clark asked, holding the door open, and examining the doorknob for scrapings from her lock pick set.
“You really shouldn’t leave your door unlocked,” she replied conversationally.
“Well, if I did that, then how would you get in to my apartment to talk to yourself on my couch?”
“That’s one thing I don’t miss… your humorless humor,” she scoffed easily. “Besides,” she continued, pulling out her Jeep keys, “I have a key.”
“When did you get a key?” He crossed his arms across his chest, and waited for a reply, his amusement barely concealed within his dark eyes.
Lois lifted her chin defiantly, narrowing her eyes slightly, before opening her mouth to dignify him with a response. “I had one made,” she said quickly. “That is not the point, Clark – You don’t know Linda, like I know Linda. Clark, she’ll drop you like a hot tamale, and won’t even think twice about it. Paul was just one event in our mutual history… though mutual suggests a pleasant atmosphere, and nothing was pleasant thereafter.”  PS Damage Control. 
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57
Freelance Reporter
|
|
Freelance Reporter
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57 |
Okay, hi all!  This is my first time responding to reviews, and I'm sorry for not having done it sooner (I will make amends on DC I promise  ). Thank you all for the wonderful response to this story, you guys are fantastic. I really appreciated all the kind words everyone has said, and while I appreciated everyones reviews there were a few I'd like to address: Kae said: I rarely yell for sequels, but I think here it'd be nice if what Lois let out caught up to her. She *needs* him! WAHOOOOOO!!! Wow! Don't I feel special! Rarely asks for a sequel, and yet here we are! I hadn't actually considered a sequel but, hmm... I suppose some resolution is in order. I'll put it into the "consideration" pile Wendy said: A sequel would be a lot of fun, Jo - however, I haven't forgotten that you also have another story which you need to finish. You hear? Yeah, yeah, yeah... I hear ya :p . I haven't forgotten the "other" fic, but tell that to Muse! She's the one denying me her tutelage! I've tried reasoning, but she's not responding.  I won't forget about it... I may have to pick her brain while she's sleeping. Pam said: I can't say as I approve of these stories where there aren't any smoochies or cluechies... Well if I do decide to do a sequel, I'm sure I can find some way to work it into it, just for you . Perhaps. We'll see. Again, everyones comments were greatly appreciated, and the response was overwhelming. I thank everyone who reviewed this story, and I hope you'll be inspired to read something of mine later on. -Jo
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Yeah it was cute but I want more. How can you end it there? Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 767
Features Writer
|
|
Features Writer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 767 |
Jocelyn,
great story
I want more too
merry
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 248
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 248 |
Holy cow... Jo, you captured Lois so perfectly in this fun little vignette. “I’m opening this door, and if you’re naked – tough!” Pelican
Such a little thing really, a kiss...most people don't give it a moment's consideration. They kiss on meeting, they kiss on parting, that simple touching of flesh is taken entirely for granted as a basic human right.
Susan Kay
|
|
|
|
