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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,206 |
Thank you for the comments for Part 1. Here's a thread for Part 2.
-- Roger
"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." -- Benjamin Franklin
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Posts: 320
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 320 |
I started with this chapter for some odd reason, but I like it, the twist with Lois leaving and then coming back was good!
doublel
I'll go back and start at the beginning
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Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great part.  He chuckled to himself. Lois was right. All this time, he had been disappointed in her for losing faith in love. Ironically it was Lois, herself, who had taught Clark a bitter lesson about love. It was he who had been so naïve, so innocent. Love may exist for a select few. His parents had it, he was glad. But love wasn’t meant for him. Being in love just meant getting hurt. Loving Lois had merely been a setup for the biggest heartbreak of his life. It would be a long time, if ever, before he could open his heart again because if this is how it felt to be in love, he wanted no part of it. All he wanted to do was crawl into bed, curl up into a ball, and cry like a baby over the loss of his dreams and the loss of his innocence. Love this part. She grabbed the car keys from her purse and rushed out of the room, headed for the elevator. It didn't even occur to her that two hundred people were waiting for her at the chapel. When the elevator door opened, she threw down her headpiece and veil and raced through the door. Once in the parking garage, she picked up her skirts and headed for her borrowed convertible. As she climbed in and started the engine, she had a stray thought. <I need to get my own car. A Jeep would be nice.> I love Lois escape. More soon, please. MAF 
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999 |
My what a happy instalment!
Some good potential for whams here.
Looking forward to what comes next.
Tank (who is looking forward to what comes next)
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Posts: 1,047
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,047 |
Poor Clark..this reminded me of the wicked witch who melted away..  Looking forward to more!! ~Liz
Lois: Can I go?
Clark: No.
Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I’m going to go.
Clark: Then why do you ask?
Lois: I’m trying to be nice.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
This isn't going to be a tank thing Is it? <g> Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Posts: 57
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 57 |
Roger
Kae opened a floodgate! I could barely contain myself when I was reading the near palpable desperation that Clark was feeling in the beginning of this chapter. It was so torn and disheartening. He was so wounded by her rejection and I sympathized with him. You've captured the desperation of both these characters and managed to convey each individual emotion accurately and with your own style and grace.
I think some nagging is in order for a post tomorrow.
-Jo
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Posts: 2,992 |
Roger WOW! Another great part! I'm glad that Lois realizes how stupid she's been. Poor Clark! He's so desperate.  I can't wait to see what happens next. Where is Clark? Please post the next part soon. Tricia 
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jul 2003
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quote: "There was a small trace of blood, but we don’t know whose blood it is. Then again, we don't even know if Superman has any blood to speak of, or whether Kryptonians leave a body behind when they die."
Roger, I love this idea. Very creative, and shades of the Jedi.
I can't wait to see more.
CC-
You mean we're supposed to have lives?
Oh crap!
~Tank
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 244 |
Nonononono! Where's Clark? Clark? CLARK???
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Posts: 38
Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 38 |
I love it! she figured it out and now she's beating herself up cuz she might have really lost what she thought she had lost anyway... ok that made no sense one-so-ever... oh well... the whole idea about what happenes to kryptonian bodies is really great and adds a nice lil twist to the fact that they can't find Superman... even if he got out I'm wondering if he'd come back sense he was gonna leave??? no nevermind u wouldn't do that to us.... stupid thought there... anywayz, it's really good hope to see more soon... Superteen(who's hoping she didn't make a complete fool of herself) 
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 123 |
Love the "what happens to Kryptonian bodies" question. The idea they decompose immediately is haunting, but the stuff of a major wham and a very powerful/sobering fanfic.
I like dark fics and there really aren't too many where Superman dies so its not overdone. I wouldn't mind an ending where the Kryptonian physilogy and what happens to it at death is part of the plot.
Just what is death for a Kryptonian? No one knows - even DC could not make a coherent story out of it with the Death of Superman/Doomsday comic.
You could take a cue out of Doomsday where Superman dies, his body disappears but is in a birthing/recovery matrix in the Fortress.
So many interesting ways you could go with this. Can't wait for more. Thank you for a great read!
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 123 |
If you decide not to go with the what happens to Kryptonians bodies when they die question in this story, it would make a great plot device for another story. With only 2 chapters left I suspect you may be going in a different direction. That's OK too.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
Roger!!! You can't leave us here!!! 
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
Wow, Roger, that was a tense segment. You had me on the edge of my seat all the way. Like others, I love the whole question over what happens to Kryptonians when they die, and given the point at which your story is set, the uncertainty expressed by the characters seems very natural. Poor Clark! I'm going to worry about him now until you post again. Make it soon! Excellent segment! LabRat 
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,206 |
Hi all. I'm in the middle of firefighting a home email server problem so I'll be back a bit later to respond to comments. In the meantime, I'll post Part 3 now.
-- Roger
"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." -- Benjamin Franklin
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Posts: 1,206
Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,206 |
Hi, I'm back now. My email server's working again, but I need more disk space. Now onto comments. Tank said: My what a happy instalment! You know I was going for WAFFy, so I hope you didn't think it was too syrupy. Laura said: This isn't going to be a tank thing Is it? <g> Would I do that to you all? Don't answer that. Liz and CC, I did include this part as an homage to "The Wizard of Oz" and "Star Wars" where gentle Jedi Masters don't die, but just fade away. Jocelyn, Wow! I didn't think I could write anything that could produce that sort of effect. Sira said: You are terrifying me! You can't do this! Hear me? This is soooo mean! I'm shocked! I'm speechless!! I hope Part 3 will at least answer this question for you as to what really happened to Clark. Don't fret. I'm not a big fan of deathfics or even Tank Endings (unless they're amusing and the bad guy loses, too). And Superteen, Randi, and Labby: I didn't realize the part with the Superman uniform would spark such an interest in exploring what happens to Kryptonians after they die. Perhaps this could become a challenge at some point. I'm glad you were intrigued with the concept, though Part 3 will answer the question as to where I was intending to go with this idea. Thank you very, very much to doublel, Maria, Tank, Liz, Laura, Jocelyn, Tricia, CC, Sira, Superteen, Randi, Jose, and LabRat for reading my story and giving much appreciated comments. I hope you continue reading with two more parts to go. Again, thank you all very much.
-- Roger
"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." -- Benjamin Franklin
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