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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Sorry I have almost no time to comment, but I absolutely loved this part! I just love seeing this Lois, who is nowhere near the bitch she was in first season LnC. She spoke as contemptuously to Clark here as she did in the pilot, but in your story she did it only to keep up appearances - and she explained it to Clark, too. I just loved the sensual, erotic way you wrote Lois's fantasies about Clark, and the ever stronger attraction she felt for him. I also loved the fact that Lois saw through Clark's Superman disguise straight away. And I was intrigued by the fact that Clark acted as if Lois didn't know. Well, wow! I love the way you've set this story up. I'm very much looking forward to more!  Ann
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292 |
Wonderful! I just got to read the last four pieces in one run.  This is absolutley awesome. I especially like the changes you made to Lois. She's still a vivacious, brilliant 'Mad Dog', but, unlike in the actual series, she is so much more. Can't wait to see the 'revelation'. Sometime soon, Lois will spill the beans to Clark about her knowing abot him, I'd bet. I'm sooo looking forward to more of your writing. 
The only known quantity that moves faster than
light is the office grapevine. (from Nan's fabulous Home series)
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 31
Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 31 |
I'm sorry I've been too busy lately to review some of the recent chapters. I just wanted to drop you a line, though, and let you know that I'm still reading and thoroughly enjoying this story.
I'm really curious to know just what Clark's feelings towards Lois are. Are they really as platonic as Lois thinks they are, or is he really just as scared to show his feelings as she is. (I'm of course, rooting for the latter option).
And just how long is Lois going to keep Clark in the dark about her knowledge of his true identity? I hope not too long!
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 41
Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 41 |
I LOVE how this Lois sees right through Clark's Superman disguise! And I can't wait to see far he's willing to go to keep Lois in the dark about his new persona. It's such a relief to have this Lois not falling all over herself to impress Superman while leaving Clark out in the cold. She has always been attracted to Clark and nothing will change that.
I really like how we're getting so much insight as to what Lois is thinking, but, at the same time, it's driving me nuts not be inside Clark's head, too!
The subtle changes you're making in this universe are awesome. Lois is suspicious of Luthor, but Clark isn't. Yes, Lois is tough, but in a way, she's also a lot more mellow because of her better upbringing. She still doesn't like those mood pieces, though! And I wonder how Clark's legal training is going to play in here. I'm thinking that we're going to see a certain blonde DA here in the near future; Clark's legal background will give them an even greater connection.
Another great part! I don't think I've been commenting as much as I should, but I'm definitely reading!
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
I haven't been commenting -- mostly 'cause I've been sneaking reading time at work  and don't want to compound that with feedback-giving time. But I am loving this story. You defanged Paul, but made Claude worse... potentially, anyway. It's great, too, the way Lois keeps getting glimpses and clues about Clark. And Clark thinks Lois won't recognize him. He may be in for a big surprise. Wonder how long she'll string him along? PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,864
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,864 |
I loved this section. You spun a whole different light on the scenes, so when you quoted dialogue it didn't feel like the same scene. It did feel like it moved kind of fast toward the end, but since you've filled out everything else I can happily live with it. Lois grabbed his arm and pulled him into the elevator growling. “Don’t push it, Kent. You are way out of your league.” When the doors closed she burst out laughing. “Clark, Martha would wash your mouth out with soap for that comment!”
Clark looked around the elevator. “I don’t see her anywhere. Do you? What was that all about anyway?”
“I have a reputation to maintain. I chew up newbie reporters and spit them out.” Lovin' it! Lois let the valet park her car. “If you get so much as a scratch on it, I’ll have your job.”
“Lois, he parks Porsches and Lamborghinis. He’s not going to scratch your aged Jeep,” Clark insisted.
“Aged!” Lois disgustedly threw her purse on the floor and slammed the door. Clark’s head came up over the back of the couch. “Did you get the interview?”
“No. He managed me. I wasted three hours, and I let that, that- louse! kiss me, and I got nothing.” This was just begging to have a rest of the scene. Don't gyp you're readers. I demand to know what happened here.  And that’s how she ended up tied to a support beam as the chemicals headed towards the drain where they would mix together causing an explosion that would end their lives. Clark had shown up, the door flying off its hinges- another mystery surrounding Clark Kent- but he hadn’t thought his “rescue” through and was tied up right beside her. Jimmy had been hit over the head and he was still unconscious. “I’m sorry Clark. I’m sure dying wasn’t on your to do list for today.”
“It’s still isn’t. Come on.”
“Wait a second! How did you. . .?”
“Look do you want me to stay here and explain it while we get blown up, or shall we get out of here?”
“Jimmy!”
“I’ve got him. Let’s get out of here.” They barely made it out of the building before it exploded. The force of the explosion carried them upwards and then dropped them in a mud puddle.
“Where, what happened?” mumbled Jimmy, beginning to come around.
“Look!” Clark pointed to the sky.
It was Antoinette Baines in her get-away helicopter. It suddenly burst into flames. “Guess she didn’t get away, after all.”
“Clark, I’ll bet they discover that explosion wasn’t an accident anymore than the one that landed us,” she held up her muddy dripping hands “here was.” And another great scene cut short. More! More! I want more! And not just dialogue, either. I want the whole scene written out--since you've obviously displayed the talent to write it well. Elisabeth
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