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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,656 |
As I was going through this story last night in preparation for posting today, I reaalized this might be a good place to end this story. All I'd have to do would be to remove... Before she could completely panic, she felt this world begin to fade around her. from the second to last section. And remove... Before he could make that determination, the world began to fade around him. from the last section. Oh, of course, that would still leave some hope. So let's add this sentence to the end of the third to last section as well... But before he could take a single step, a bullet ended Herb's life. So what do you think? It would save you from having to read any more? And it would tie up this story nice and neat. ML 
She was in such a good mood she let all the pedestrians in the crosswalk get to safety before taking off again.
- CC Aiken, The Late Great Lois Lane
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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/me does her best imitation of Clark on an iceberg NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You've got to be joking. I could easily come find you you know... Okay - not easily, but still I could send some of these little guys:  I'm guessing Lois and Clark woke up nekkid the next morning in HiM and Lois [and probably Clark to a certain extent] freaked out and that was the end of that. Now Lois is with Dan and Clark is somewhere humid and HG is in some sort of distopia [is that the opposite of utopia?]. What is it with fake endings today!?!?! If you want to make it up to us, you could post part 11 when you get home tonight...
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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OR MAYBE... HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK? WOULD THIS BE A GOOD PLACE TO END IT? DON'T make me HURT you. Because I will in horrible and excruciating ways. :p Just what in the world threw everything into a tailspin?
"You need me. You wouldn't be much of a hero without a villain. And you do love being the hero, don't you. The cheering children, the swooning women, you love it so much, it's made you my most reliable accomplice." -- Lex Luthor to Superman, Question Authority, Justice League Unlimited
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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End it here? Ack!  Her eyes snapped open and she looked in horror at the sight of a naked Dan in bed next to her. She quickly grabbed the sheet, pulling it around her body. When the hell was she? And what the hell was she doing in bed with Dan? All I can say is ... ick. Can't wait for part 11 tomorrow. BJ
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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~•~
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Hoo boy. Well, the story seems to have lived up to its name.
Wonder how this can be fixed. And, of course, if Wells and his fiddling with the soul tracer is what's responsible for everything.
(I love the way he was sitting around wondering why they hadn't called him in for a consult. Even funnier if his twiddling around while waiting really is what's been causing the trouble in the first place.)
Well, at least with Utopia gone, he's off the proverbial hook. Until he can fix it all, anyway.
Where's a can of Batnesia Gas when you need it?
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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Even I don't think this would be a good place to end it. It is pretty funny though.
Tank (who thinks that we need to know where Clark is now, then it can end... or not)
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Hah! ML! This is absolutely fascinating and wonderful! I had waited to read it because I had been busy... and... well... you had said it might be better to read it in one or two sittings. So I expected to read a few parts today and then some more on another day.... So much for expectations... I got so thoroughly wrapped up in the thing that I read all 10 parts today. I was home sick, it was a wonderful way to pass the time! I love your imagination. I actually have been beta reading a story for someone else who has sort of the same idea, but yet completely different too. I love it. I find these kinds of stories absolutely fascinating! Anyway, don't you dare leave us here. I don't care if you think it is a good place to stop... it's not, okay? You could extend this thing by 50 parts easily <snort>  There's no way I could quote all my favorite parts. So I'll quote one of my favorites: She felt his body tremble and heard his breathing become labored as he kept his face buried in her shoulder. “Oh, my love,” she whispered against his hair even as she felt the dampness of his tears on her shoulder. In the future, he must have dealt with his own pain before coming to tell her - trying to make sure he could comfort her without having to deal with his grief. That was just so Clark - and she loved him for it. She closed her eyes and held him, wishing she knew how to make this easier for him, wishing she could take his pain into her body and thus free him of it.
She had no idea how long she held him like that. It could have been an eternity. It could have been a matter of minutes. But finally, his labored breathing stopped. She breathed a sigh of relief, hugging him tightly to her.
“I’m sorry, Lois. I’m so sorry.”
She heard his jagged whisper and felt her heart constrict. Pulling back from him, she cupped his large face in her small hands.
“Look at me, Clark,” she said when he still refused to make eye contact.
It seemed to take him a moment, but finally he forced himself to look at her. “I’m sorry, Lois. I never should have asked you to marry me before finding out if I could even give you...” That scene was so beautiful and so wonderful and so tender and so sweet and so heartwrenching. <sniffle> I adored it. Anyway, I am so looking forward to part 11. It's coming tomorrow, right? Don't keep a sick girl waiting too long, okay? -- DJ
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not OK, Not good to stop, NOT nothing not nohow. I'm with Carolm, Karen, BJ, DJ, and Queen of the Capes. Not a good place to stop, and I second this Get back here and *FIX* this right *NOW*!!! and no excuses!!! If your muse needs a kick, maybe DJ can send hers over to do the honors. But on the other hand, I really loved the HiM scenes. They were lovely, but did you REALLY have to bring that icky man into it? Grrrrr. Really, really, really don't like him.  we'll e-mail you love notes, but please don't stop. Better? mmouse
Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love - time is eternity --Henry van Dyke
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Blogger
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Blogger
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ACK! Okay, I think we've all realized that when you mentioned the destruction of Utopia in your title that you MEAN it! YIKES! I agree with what everyone else has said: FIX IT! I definitely think that Lois and Clark fell asleep together in the bed in HiM and then leaped, leaving present-day L&C to deal with the aftermath. That's a big oops. They had been so careful before. And I'm still wondering what role Wells plays in all of this. He seems to think that Tempus is behind it all, but until we see what was on the piece of paper HE saw, we won't really know what's going on. At first, I was thinking that Wells was the one messing around with L&C using the soul tracer, but I think he's just using it to track where they're going in time. There are SO many unanswered questions right now! So, CLEARLY, there's no way you can wrap it up right now. But without the council, I guess Wells is going to have to fix it all on his own. ML, this story just keeps getting better and better!
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Merriwether
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OP
Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,656 |
Those little guys scare me. Please, no! Anything but that  Get back here and *FIX* this right *NOW*!!! [followed by even more of the little guys] You owe us compensationary parts now, ML! Boy, even more of the little guys  DON'T make me HURT you. Because I will in horrible and excruciating ways. Has anyone ever told you guys that you're seriously scary? :eek Don't you *DARE* end it here, or I shall slap you with an albacore Tuna! *Shakes fish menacingly* NOOO! Not the albacore Tuna punishment!!! Anything but that!!!
She was in such a good mood she let all the pedestrians in the crosswalk get to safety before taking off again.
- CC Aiken, The Late Great Lois Lane
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,656 |
[had to do this in two parts because you guys used so many of the little guys that I couldn't put anything else in that post ] quote:
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Her eyes snapped open and she looked in horror at the sight of a naked Dan in bed next to her. She quickly grabbed the sheet, pulling it around her body. When the hell was she? And what the hell was she doing in bed with Dan?
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All I can say is ... ick. but did you REALLY have to bring that icky man into it? Grrrrr. Really, really, really don't like him. I don't know. I've always thought Dan was sort of cute 
She was in such a good mood she let all the pedestrians in the crosswalk get to safety before taking off again.
- CC Aiken, The Late Great Lois Lane
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Oooo... ML likes love notes. I want love notes. Gimme love notes If you'll forgive the corniness of this post, then ... Your wish is my command, O Wonderous Wordsmith ...  How do I love thy stories? Let me count the ways. I Will Always Love You to the depth and breadth and height Superman can reach, when feeling out of sight though Lost in Time and throughout Utopia. I love to re-read to the level of everyday's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee with Curiosity, as men strive to find Lois; I love thee with Freedom, as she turns from her marriage to Lex. I love thee with Destiny, transfering her childhood powers and ending her Grief. I love thee when Roadtrekking, as Clark first felt attraction to a human woman, --- I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, even Without a Superman, I shall but love thee Out of Time, better after death. ~~~~~~~~ BJ
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Merriwether
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OP
Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,656 |
She was in such a good mood she let all the pedestrians in the crosswalk get to safety before taking off again.
- CC Aiken, The Late Great Lois Lane
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Yipee!!!  BJ
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