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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 515
Columnist
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OP
Columnist
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 515 |
Thanks for reading. Comments go here.
Regards,
Rac
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
It's often a good idea not to comment right after you have read a rich, well-written story, because you have time to think of what remains foremost in your mind when you think about it. It's a way of making the most beautiful trees, as it were, stand clear of the backdrop of the story, the wood. These are some of the trees from this part that have lodged themselves in my mind: "He saved my life." She heard someone say. The man stepped forward, the emotions at war within him clearly visible on his face. "I heard his voice and I knew it was him. The way he talks, he doesn't sound like one of us. I used to think he sounded odd, but I don't think I've ever been so happy to recognize anyone in my entire life. He pulled me from the rubble and told me everything would all right. And I believed him." The stranger. The odd-one-out. Can he be a force for good? And how can we deal with him, and with ourselves, if he is? "It seems fitting that it was Kal El who killed him," another man responded.
"No it doesn't," came the retort. As one, the entire crowd turned to look at the woman who'd said it. "Kal El is a gentler sort of person than we are. You could see it in his eyes, and like that woman said, in the way he would carry a child. But we made him fight our battles for us. We should have slain our own monsters." So heartbreakingly true. He didn't belong here anymore now than he did nearly four years ago when they'd plucked him from his home. Four years later, he still wasn't Kal El. And that may well have been a good thing, but she knew that part of 'Clark' was slipping away. Every wound he received took something away from him. He'd said it himself – he felt like he wasn't whole anymore and for a time, he'd tried to conceal the emptiness behind a mask of anger and ill-temper. This is devastatingly true. It's the fate of the migrant, the person who has lost his roots and has been cast adrift. When others try to cast him in a mold that isn't his, he will never become what they want him to be. Instead, he will lose what he really is. Because no man is an island, like someone said - John Donne? - and we are what our loved ones, our home and our society make us into. The longer we have been this reflection of our home and the people we love, the harder it will be for us to turn into something else altogether. And yet, at the same time, the identity we got by being a part of our own world will whittle away if we are forced to stay away from home, and it will be harder and harder to reclaim it. His morbid ruminations were interrupted by the sound of a voice, distinctly feminine and more than a bit anxious, over the background hum of the machines. The voice was familiar, but he couldn't place it, nor could he understand what she was saying.
"Lois?" The way he pronounced the syllables, strangled and strained, hit his ears all wrong. How could he mangle the soft, mellifluous sounds of her name into something so harsh and tinny? His eyes opened a crack and brutal light came pouring in, making him regret the attempt immediately. She would understand. She would turn off the bright lights overhead and he'd see her at last, after four long and empty years, he would finally be able to look at his wife again. He wished she would hurry. The powerful lights were penetrating the thin skin of his eyelids, making him wince.
Clark reached toward the sound of the voice and brushed against a warm hand. He closed his own around it but it only took him a moment to realize it wasn't Lois's. It was most decidedly a woman's hand, but the fingers were too long, almost as long as his own. The palm, just at the first knuckle of each finger, was faintly calloused. The hand under his remained stone still. "No sir, it's just me, Talan," she said. This, too, is absolutely heartbreaking. Clark, coming back to himself, but being momentarily totally disorientied, can associate a female, caring voice only with Lois. But the woman who is with him - and who loves him with all her heart and soul, in an amazingly selfless way - can't give him that ultimate gift. She can't be Lois to him. He had taken a life. His actions couldn't have been more justified; it wasn't only self-defense, Kal El had killed Nor to end his reign of terror and the threat against New Krypton. While he had done the right thing, killing changed a person. It was a line one couldn't uncross.
The innocent shall sleep tonight for I will watch over them.
The oath of the Expeditionary Forces rolled around in her mind. She could stand watch over a sleeping world and a wounded leader, but neither was innocent anymore. They knew too much of darkness, they'd seen too much of the ugliness that could destroy a person's soul. Innocence was a quality of the inexperienced – of those who did not have to concern themselves with terrible choices that all had unspeakable consequences. Clark is so good and pure that he deserves to be as innocent as the truly inexperienced ones. But because he had been called upon to save this world that is not his own, he has not been allowed to stay innocent. She swallowed roughly around the lump in her throat. "Nor fired on the civilians you were evacuating. You drew his fire by running down a corridor. Nor shot you in the back. He was going to kill you…"
A look of horror crossed his face, his eyes growing wide. "I killed him, didn't I?"
"It was self-defense, sir. He would have killed you and others and he would have escaped if you hadn't," she whispered stridently.
"I killed him," he repeated dully as he stared at her in disbelief. She wanted to shrink from his gaze but there was nowhere she could go.
"You had no choice," she said firmly, but the look on his face told her that he found no comfort in her repeated reassurances.
He lowered his eyes, looking away from her. "I killed him," he whispered again. He is not innocent any more. Breathe in and then out.
Over and over again.
Stay alive from one moment to the next.
Keep fighting.
He watched the slow rise and fall of her body, his breaths having long ago fallen into sync with hers. They breathed as one, just like they had, so many times, moved as one. One soul, one body, one life, one heart. So extremely, poignantly beautiful. This is the essence of love. The bedclothes were molded to the outline of her body, the sheets at the end of the bed tented by only one foot; her right leg ended abruptly just below the knee. It was just so…wrong. Feet came in pairs, one the mirror image of its mate. And they were joined to ankles, hard shins, flesh, and blood. She had delicate little ankles, slender and fine-boned. He'd always teased her about them, wondering how a person could stand on ankles that skinny. Lok Sim choked back a sob as he tried not to let the memory overwhelm him. This brings tears to my eyes, too. What would he have done? In her place, after four years of such horror, four years of such unimaginable pain, what would he have been capable of? Would he, too, have become an agent of death? Would he have given himself to everything evil in this world to spare his love unspeakable torment? He didn't know.
He didn't want to know. Would Lok Sim have been capable of doing to others, for the love of Enza, what Sur Ahn had done to Enza for the love of her husband? Horrible thought. There are some questions we don't want to know the answer to. Despondent, he lowered his head to the mattress, right by where he still held her hand, feeling the soft blanket under his cheek. He closed his eyes and let the tears fall, silently at first, but he was soon sobbing. Breathe in and then out. Over and over again. It was all he could manage at the moment. Heartbreaking. Beautiful. Heartbreaking. Ann
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 53
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 53 |
Yay, another post! Poor Clark. How is he ever going to get back to being Clark? It makes me wonder if this story is going to be mostly about him getting home, and the post-reunion part goes unsaid, or if it'll be split half and half. I hope it's the latter because I want to see Lois help heal him, and I want to see him interact with Jon, and I want to know if Ultrawoman sticks around after Superman comes back, or whether Superman comes back at all. I also want to know if the people on Earth (both his family and complete strangers) see signs of the newer, harder Kal-El.
You know I love Talan, so I eat up any scene she's in. I want her to be happy in the end, and I also kind of want her to meet Lois. She's worked so hard to keep Clark alive for this other woman, she's been so unselfish... I want her to be able to see what it is that she saved.
I don't envy the New Kryptonians -- the ones who get it, anyway -- their position: knowing that they didn't try hard enough to save their planet, that they relied on the generosity and kindness of someone else, and that they possibly destroyed that very kindness and generosity in getting him to do their dirty work.
This story is awesome! I can't wait for the next part.
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,302
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,302 |
to keep Clark alive for this other woman, Poor Lois - she's become the "other" woman, now, and that's really sad. But I still have faith that that is not where Rac is going with this story. Rac, I have to admit I've checked out the first two parts of your sequel, and as usual come away admiring your writing style. It's also been good to see that the secondary characters have survived.  But I have less and less hope that Clark will be anywhere near Earth for a very long time. For Lois Lane and Clark Kent, we are still left with that heart-breaking cliffhanger. I, too, have really liked Talan - she's a strong and interesting character. But it's time for Clark to be with Lois. Please don't turn this into a Clark-Talan-Lois triangle. It's humiliating for each woman, and will destroy any belief we have that Clark Kent loves Lois Lane. Desperately hoping to see Clark actually on his way home in the next part and reunited with Lois. c.
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,069
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,069 |
As always, this chapter was a fantastic read. I still feel so bad for Talan. Her respect and love for Clark sustained her in her search and rescue of Clark before, and saved him from death this time. I also feel confident that her love for Clark will get him home, but where will it leave her? She looked around at the immense group. These people were all here for him. They were waiting and hoping – like they would for their own loved ones – for any small bit of encouraging news. I love this passage and had to restrain myself from quoting the whole thing. Clark has definitely changed the Kryptonians. They know he's not one of them, but his compassion and love have won them over. "It seems fitting that it was Kal El who killed him," another man responded.
"No it doesn't," came the retort. As one, the entire crowd turned to look at the woman who'd said it. "Kal El is a gentler sort of person than we are. You could see it in his eyes, and like that woman said, in the way he would carry a child. But we made him fight our battles for us. We should have slain our own monsters."
"The First Minister holds his duty to protect this world as sacred," Talan replied. Outwardly calm, the currents of confliction swirled around inside her. Here too, Talan is praising Clark for the Kryptonian value of duty, but I think they all know that duty above all else is misguided. Clinging to duty and tradition pulled them into civil war against Rae Et and Nor, but an outsider's love and compassion will teach them all the value of good emotions. That's something I've always hated about the New Kryptonians. They say that emotions are a weakness, but they seem to pick and choose. Love, compassion, kindness are disregarded, but greed, anger and hate seem to be accepted. They're a hypocritical people and I'm glad to see that in this story, they're learning that about themselves and it's making them uncomfortable (as the "currents of confliction swirled around inside" Talan). "I am so sorry, Clark," she murmured, slipping easily back into English. "I have said it before, but we never should have brought you here. This wasn't your fight." She took his hand in her much smaller one. "Please know that I will do everything I can to make sure you get home as soon as possible."  She swallowed roughly around the lump in her throat. "Nor fired on the civilians you were evacuating. You drew his fire by running down a corridor. Nor shot you in the back. He was going to kill you…"
A look of horror crossed his face, his eyes growing wide. "I killed him, didn't I?"
"It was self-defense, sir. He would have killed you and others and he would have escaped if you hadn't," she whispered stridently.
"I killed him," he repeated dully as he stared at her in disbelief. She wanted to shrink from his gaze but there was nowhere she could go.
"You had no choice," she said firmly, but the look on his face told her that he found no comfort in her repeated reassurances.
He lowered his eyes, looking away from her. "I killed him," he whispered again.  Lois can help him overcome his grief and guilt, he just needs to get home. Zara, Talan, Ching, the Kryptonian people all realize that they've asked too much from him, that his time with them has damaged him and they all want him to be happy, to go home. Please send him home soon...  BJ
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3 |
Aagh! You pound and pound our hearts until they break and then you pound the pieces into tinier pieces and then you pound them too! Arrgh! The agony! The angst! The shattered innocence! The fading memory of goodness crushed beneath so many deaths, so many injuries, so many lives shattered!
Okay, now that that's out of my system...
Like a couple of others, I'm ready for Clark to go home. I'm ready to see him reunited with Lois and watch them work through the agony and heartbreak of learning all over again why they love each other. I can hardly wait for Talan to escort Clark back to Earth and find that Lois is initially thrilled to have him back but has trouble making the huge adjustments in her life to accomodate a spiritually damaged husband as Talan spends her time trying not to think of ways to take out Lois.
And I want to see Lok Sim convince Enza of his love for her all over again, despite her injuries. He's going to have to teach her that, even though her body is damaged, her heart is not crippled. And she will have to face Thia and the guilt she's going to feel for allowing herself to be hurt. She will have to learn to let Thia, whose child mind has seen more horror and pain that most adults face in their entire lives, learn to love her all over again, and she'll have to let herself be loved.
In fact, I think I've found the major recurring B-plot theme in this story, namely that one can love someone despite that someone's not being all he or she expects himself or herself to be. Love can indeed conquer all, if only we will allow it to do so.
Ching and Zara have to adjust to the the fact that Zara will never have kids, not to mention their individual and shared guilt over bringing Clark so far and asking so much of him and taking so much away from him. Lok Sim and Enza have to face the loss of her leg. Talan has to face the loss of the man she loves. Clark has to face the disintegration of his innocence. Lois will have to see her life turned upside down and run through a blender set to 'frappe' once again (by the SAME GUY!). And New Krypton will have to figure out how to govern itself without the kindest, most caring man they've ever been graced with.
Lots of possibilities, Rac, and I'm confident that you'll do a wonderful job exploring each and every one of them.
So where's chapter three? You got it done yet?
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,302
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,302 |
A gentle plea for the next part -unless RL is so hectic right now, Rac. (and heaven knows that can happen)
c.
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 515
Columnist
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OP
Columnist
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 515 |
I do apologize, but RL has been incredibly hectic. I've been working 12-14 hour days and haven't had a day off in about 3 weeks. When I get some breathing room, I'll reply to the wonderful comments and work on posting the next part.
Thanks for your patience,
Rac
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3 |
I understand about frantic RL, RAC. But you do understand that you've left us hanging by a slender thread, don't you? Damocles had nothing on you! May your life return to a semblance of normality soon, both for the sake of your sanity and for the sake of your readers who seriously miss this story.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 515
Columnist
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OP
Columnist
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 515 |
Hi everyone,
Thanks for your comments and your patience. I'm very sorry for the delay, work has been brutal for the last month and it's not easing up any time soon.
Ann, thank you for the feedback. I know that this was another tough section, for Clark, for Lok Sim, and for Talan.
Hi Noelle, thanks for your comments. To answer your question, this story will mostly be about what happens after Clark goes home.
Carol, I definitely don't think of Lois as the 'other woman,' and as strong as Talan's feelings are, I think she knows that she can't and shouldn't compete with Lois for Clark's affection. I know you're looking toward the time when Clark is finally back where he belongs. I'm sorry for the delay, but I promise we're making progress (even if it has been too slow for your tastes and mine). More is coming up now.
Hi BJ, I agree that the NKers have learned a great deal from Clark. I've tried to make them a more sympathetic people than they were in the show (though they're still emotionally stunted), and I've tried to explain that a lot of their coldness and their devotion to duty comes from living such a difficult, dangerous life.
Terry, thanks for your words of confidence. I agree that a major theme of this story is about how imperfect people can love each other perfectly. Every one of the significant characters has been damaged by the events of this story and they're going to have to learn how to rebuild their lives and their relationships. More is coming up soon.
Regards,
Rac
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