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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667
Pulitzer
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OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667 |
Oh FinLi! What a wonderful WAFFy end to your story. I loved it. Absolutely loved how you tied it in to Clark's first arrival at the Planet. And the way he glanced at her scar and then when she reached up to touch it and he smiled at her...ahhh, I just melted into a pile of goo.  I really enjoyed this story...now hurry up and get it posted to the archive so I can go back and read it again from start to finish! 
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great part.  What do you mean with "The End". We know the TV Serie, we want you to give us your version. Personal, I feel like someone took my spoon out of my mouth when I was starting to taste this story.  MAF 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 101
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 101 |
Great job, FinLi! I thought it was really fitting how you made it all tie in with the show's pilot. Although you wouldn't offend me at all if you kept going with it!  Marcy
(Elrond's blessing at the departure of the company from Rivendell)
"Farewell, and may the blessing of Elves and Men and all Free Folk go with you.
May the stars shine upon your faces!"
-Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
I have to agree with Maria, FinLi. Your ending left something to be desired! I think you should have made Lois run after Clark, catch him, stare into his eyes and exclaim: "It's you! The mystery man who saved me!" And then Clark would have answered: "Yes, Lois, that was me. I've come here because I've spent every second since that day thinking about you! Lois, will you marry me?" And then he would start kissing her, and she would respond, and... okay, this is the PG folder, so you could just have him drag her into a conference room or something. Or, why not, he could spin into his suit and fly her off on a romantic super-date, which, seeing that this is the PG folder, we would have to imagine ourselves....
Are you sure this is really part 5/5, FinLi? I'd swear it's really part 5/6!
Ann
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 184
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 184 |
Hi Finli,
Your writing is fantastically descriptive, I really like it. I was really able to visualise the situations.
But like the others, I think that there is more here, or perhaps a sequel?
Thanks!
Helen
Knowledge is knowing that tomatoes are a fruit.
Intelligence is not putting them in a fruit salad.
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 776
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 776 |
If you think we'er ganging up on you, WE ARE.
"I'm red-eyed, tired and drunk" Teri Hatcher
"Fun will now commence" 7of9
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,763
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,763 |
Great stuff. I really enjoyed how it ended. However I would never complain if the story were to continue.  Thanks for teasing us with those short posts. I clawed at my screen for more. It was tough, but it was a nice change. At least you posted frequently.
I've converted to lurk-ism... hopefully only temporary.
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363 |
Very nicely done and BRAVA! 
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 77
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 77 |
Have to echo the above comments. I loved the premise of this story, but I do believe that a continuation is in order.
"But my experience is that as soon as people are old enough to know better, they don't know anything at all."
-Oscar Wilde, "Lady Windermere's Fan"
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 94
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 94 |
Hi everyone, It took me a good 15 minutes to find the courage to click on this link. I was so afraid that everyone would HATE the end of my story. Like I said before, I really had no intention of continuing it after Lois was put into the ambulance, but I thought it needed to go further. I stopped where I did because I'm currently working on another story that MAY be a sequel. Thanks to all of you for all the kind words and feedback. It really means a lot to me. I can say that I wasn't really sure about this particular story. But it seems that it wasn't as bad as I thought.  Thanks again, You all are wonderful  FinLi
Clark: "Can I have a rat chief? Can I, huh? Please?"
Perry: "Clark, do you want me to send you to the dark room?"
Clark: "The dark room?"
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi FinLi, I stopped where I did because I'm currently working on another story that MAY be a sequel. Just curious. MAF 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 94
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 94 |
Originally posted by mariadferdez.: Hi FinLi,
I stopped where I did because I'm currently working on another story that MAY be a sequel.
MAF uh, I guess you will have to wait and see 
Clark: "Can I have a rat chief? Can I, huh? Please?"
Perry: "Clark, do you want me to send you to the dark room?"
Clark: "The dark room?"
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,018
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,018 |
It took me a good 15 minutes to find the courage to click on this link. I was so afraid that everyone would HATE the end of my story. I enjoyed your story. Yes many of us would have seen you take this to 30 or 40 parts and have an entire alternate begining but your muse takes you where it takes you. 
Framework4
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