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FDK: The One Where Mayson Lives (Chapters 4-6) #295423 03/04/23 05:59 PM
Joined: Feb 2021 Posts: 424 Likes: 13 Alberta T Toomi8 OP Beat Reporter
OP Toomi8 Beat Reporter T Joined: Feb 2021 Posts: 424 Likes: 13 Alberta	Feedback thread for the last half of the story! Chapter 4 is here.

Re: FDK: The One Where Mayson Lives (Chapters 4-6) Toomi8 #295425 03/05/23 04:48 AM
Joined: Jun 2006 Posts: 2,513 Likes: 29 Germany bakasi Pulitzer
bakasi Pulitzer Joined: Jun 2006 Posts: 2,513 Likes: 29 Germany	Ack! This didn't go as planned. Poor Clark. This is a really difficult week for him. I'm glad that he and Mayson are talking again. Now he only has to beg Lois' forgiveness. Great chapter. It's never too dark to be cool.

Re: FDK: The One Where Mayson Lives (Chapters 4-6) Toomi8 #295440 03/06/23 11:44 PM
Joined: Feb 2021 Posts: 424 Likes: 13 Alberta T Toomi8 OP Beat Reporter
OP Toomi8 Beat Reporter T Joined: Feb 2021 Posts: 424 Likes: 13 Alberta	Chapter 5 is posted.

Re: FDK: The One Where Mayson Lives (Chapters 4-6) Toomi8 #295446 03/07/23 10:42 PM
Joined: Feb 2021 Posts: 424 Likes: 13 Alberta T Toomi8 OP Beat Reporter
OP Toomi8 Beat Reporter T Joined: Feb 2021 Posts: 424 Likes: 13 Alberta	The final chapter is posted here.

Re: FDK: The One Where Mayson Lives (Chapters 4-6) Toomi8 #295447 03/07/23 11:30 PM
Joined: Jan 2019 Posts: 996 Likes: 19 Central/Eastern USA Blueowl Features Writer
Blueowl Features Writer Joined: Jan 2019 Posts: 996 Likes: 19 Central/Eastern USA	Such a good story ^_^ Betaing it was such a treat! I really wish Mayson had been treated better by the writers. There was such missed potential there. Glad we got to see a bit of it here. Can't wait to see your next story

Re: FDK: The One Where Mayson Lives (Chapters 4-6) Toomi8 #295451 03/09/23 04:36 PM
Joined: Jun 2006 Posts: 2,513 Likes: 29 Germany bakasi Pulitzer
bakasi Pulitzer Joined: Jun 2006 Posts: 2,513 Likes: 29 Germany	Great last chapter. I'm glad Lois and Clark made up and Mayson is on the mend. Thank you so much for sharing. It's never too dark to be cool.

Re: FDK: The One Where Mayson Lives (Chapters 4-6) bakasi #295467 03/11/23 11:49 AM
Joined: Feb 2021 Posts: 424 Likes: 13 Alberta T Toomi8 OP Beat Reporter
OP Toomi8 Beat Reporter T Joined: Feb 2021 Posts: 424 Likes: 13 Alberta	Originally Posted by Blueowl Such a good story ^_^ Betaing it was such a treat! I really wish Mayson had been treated better by the writers. There was such missed potential there. Glad we got to see a bit of it here. Can't wait to see your next story Thanks again for the great beta! I'm glad you liked the fic. Originally Posted by bakasi Great last chapter. I'm glad Lois and Clark made up and Mayson is on the mend. Thank you so much for sharing. Thanks for reading

Re: FDK: The One Where Mayson Lives (Chapters 4-6) Toomi8 #295490 03/15/23 10:39 AM
Joined: Apr 2003 Posts: 163 Likes: 5 Wheeling, IL R Ray Hack from Nowheresville
Ray Hack from Nowheresville R Joined: Apr 2003 Posts: 163 Likes: 5 Wheeling, IL	Hi! I really liked this story. I thought that Mayson made a lot of good points with regard to her treatment by Clark. The original storyline did not paint Clark in a very good light, as you noted. He was indecisive and inconsiderate. More than once, as you showed, he could have been honest with Mayson but he didn't and that didn't reflect well on him. I found your Mayson to be a more complex character than on the show but they really didn't take the time to develop her. Even with the way he treated her and her dislike of Superman, she was intelligent enough to know that keeping Clark's secret was the way to go. What made me like her more was when she told Clark she didn't want him to visit her anymore. It showed some fortitude on her part, considering how she'd thrown herself at him previously. That may have been because she now knew Clark was not the kind farmboy of her dreams, he was also Superman who she did not like and who acted outside the law, at least as far as she saw it. Alternate stories like this allow authors to explore a character and flesh them out and that was the most enjoyable part of your story. Thanks for writing and sharing your story. Ray
	1 member likes this: Toomi8

Re: FDK: The One Where Mayson Lives (Chapters 4-6) Toomi8 #295728 04/08/23 11:32 AM
Joined: Apr 2007 Posts: 8,948 Likes: 28 Darth Michael Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Darth Michael Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner Joined: Apr 2007 Posts: 8,948 Likes: 28	Hi Toomi! Part 4. Quote Yes,” Mayson stated coolly. “I tried to call you at work but Lois informed me you’d left. Yeah, that’s gonna be an issue down the line. Quote Trying to get her to fall in love with you first is wrong.” Makes one wonder if Clark might not also be a bad boyfriend, perfectly suited for Lois’s streak of Federal Disasters. Quote No,” Clark quickly assured Jimmy as whenever he and Lois disagreed about anything, Jimmy became anxious and either tried to fix the problem, or became scarce. Poor guy, always worried mommy and daddy are getting a divorce. Quote But why couldn’t you just tell her no if you weren’t interested? He likes the attention. It’s also why he dresses so flashy. Quote What you didn’t see was the Suit I had on underneath.” “Suit?” Lois asked, looking confused. Yes. Black painted leather. Quote As he gazed at her, he was aware they were both leaning toward each other. A gust of wind caught the window, causing it to swing closed with a loud bang, breaking their eye contact. Lois snatched her hand back. Great work! Very movie-like. Quote As he walked down the hallway, he could hear Lois turning the various locks That’s not against him. She didn’t lock the window. Quote flying quietly above the apartment, noting that the window she always left open for his alter ego was now latched. Okay, now that’s bad. See you in a moment! Michael Join us on the #loisclark Discord server! We talk about fanfic, our favorite show, life, and more! (It’s almost like the IRC days of old again!) I go by Michael on the Archives.

Re: FDK: The One Where Mayson Lives (Chapters 4-6) Toomi8 #295729 04/08/23 11:35 AM
Joined: Apr 2007 Posts: 8,948 Likes: 28 Darth Michael Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Darth Michael Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner Joined: Apr 2007 Posts: 8,948 Likes: 28	Hi Toomi! And now for Part 5 Quote and he’d found his note to her crumpled in the trash. To continue from part 4, yes, that’s bad. Quote Lois hadn’t covered for him as the news of Superman’s rescue was all over the news. LOIS: He didn’t need me in the year prior either. Quote “Thanks, Clark, but I already ate.” “Oh. Can I buy you a coffee?” he asked as he followed her outside. “I, uh… I don’t think so. Not right now.” Maybe he should pick her up a Daniel instead? Quote There was a pause while they held each other's gaze before Lois looked away. “We need to talk and I thought somewhere we couldn’t be overheard would be ideal.” Still not found all the surveillance devices Lex had planted in her apartment? Quote “It’s just that… you’re him, and he’s you. I’m not quite over that yet and if the other you flys me away somewhere, I won’t be able to think straight.” MARTHA: Jonathan, now there’s two of them! Quote How would you have continued this?” Kids? College graduation? Quote Great. You weren’t even planning on telling me. I’m just the afterthought.” No, not telling her was always on the forefront of his mind. Quote but I couldn’t figure out how without making you upset or mad.” “And I’m mad?” He already said he doesn't know how to prevent that. Quote “I’ll let you know if I stumble onto something.” “Help, Superman! Help!” Quote “You can’t be tired, and you’re not that fond of my driving skills,” Lois quipped as she started the engine. He’s not worried about getting hurt. Just about her hurting innocent bystanders. Quote “But I’d rather drive back with you for an hour than fly home alone.” Awwww… The empty parking lot was inspired! Your Mayson and Lois sure don't let Clark off easily Looking forward to getting to the conclusion. Am thinking…tomorrow-ish? Michael Join us on the #loisclark Discord server! We talk about fanfic, our favorite show, life, and more! (It’s almost like the IRC days of old again!) I go by Michael on the Archives.

Re: FDK: The One Where Mayson Lives (Chapters 4-6) Toomi8 #295744 04/09/23 04:19 AM
Joined: Apr 2007 Posts: 8,948 Likes: 28 Darth Michael Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Darth Michael Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner Joined: Apr 2007 Posts: 8,948 Likes: 28	Hi Toomi! Part 6 – the grand finale! Quote What are you doing here?” Lois hissed as he scooped her into his arms. “Lois, I asked you to stay away from this place.” “But this is where the story is!” she objected while she kicked her legs in futility. Quote “Not tonight. There’s no activity and from what I’ve been able to see, the container has been emptied and I have no idea where the drugs have gone.” “Oh,” she commented, relaxing into his arms. “Where are we going?” Awww, she’s adorable! Quote “You should shower,” Lois remarked. “You still smell like the fire from earlier.” Look who took those past days to adjust to the new norm. Quote “I do, I’ve just been busy the last few evenings keeping a certain reporter out of the middle of a large drug deal.” Quote “Does this mean I’m forgiven?” he mumbled, briefly breaking the kiss. “Not yet,” she whispered as she kissed him again. “That might take a lifetime.” Cute! Thanks for sharing an adorable what-if on Mayson’s impact on Lois and Clark Michael Join us on the #loisclark Discord server! We talk about fanfic, our favorite show, life, and more! (It’s almost like the IRC days of old again!) I go by Michael on the Archives.

Re: FDK: The One Where Mayson Lives (Chapters 4-6) Darth Michael #295855 04/18/23 03:24 PM
Joined: Feb 2021 Posts: 424 Likes: 13 Alberta T Toomi8 OP Beat Reporter
OP Toomi8 Beat Reporter T Joined: Feb 2021 Posts: 424 Likes: 13 Alberta	Originally Posted by Darth Michael Thanks for sharing an adorable what-if on Mayson’s impact on Lois and Clark Michael Thanks for reading and the wonderful comments

Re: FDK: The One Where Mayson Lives (Chapters 4-6) Toomi8 #295857 04/18/23 05:22 PM
Joined: Apr 2007 Posts: 8,948 Likes: 28 Darth Michael Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Darth Michael Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner Joined: Apr 2007 Posts: 8,948 Likes: 28	Quote Thanks for reading and the wonderful comments You're welcome! Michael Join us on the #loisclark Discord server! We talk about fanfic, our favorite show, life, and more! (It’s almost like the IRC days of old again!) I go by Michael on the Archives.

Re: FDK: The One Where Mayson Lives (Chapters 4-6) Toomi8 #296160 05/15/23 12:36 PM
Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 3,085 Likes: 39 Albuquerque, NM K KSaraSara Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
KSaraSara Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer K Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 3,085 Likes: 39 Albuquerque, NM	Toomi!!!! It’s a crime that I somehow managed to not read the second half of this story!!! But I’m caught up now and GAHHH!!!! The emotions here were just SO awesome!! I loved having Mayson tell him straight up how his behavior affected her (and was affecting Lois too). And Lois’ reaction too was good! It was a great choice to have this all in Clark’s POV because GAHHH… there are so many emotions and thoughts and everything he had to deal with, and you did it so well! Thanks for sharing!!! Sara Kerth nominations are opening on March 3! 🏆2024 Kerth Award Posts 🏆. Join us on the #loisclark Discord server! We talk about fanfic, the show, life, and more! You can also find me on Tumblr and AO3. Avatar by Carrie Rene

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