Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: What'd I Say? (Don't Be Cruel Part 2) (Part 4 of 4)

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Thanks for reading and commenting!

need to let this out before go to work...

1. super-like the epilogue, haha. not ony you give details to what happened to everyone involved in the story, but I also like how Lex Luthor finally meet his end. out of curiosity, why did you kill him? or why did he died?

2. several parts of the story fall into flat naration,which makes it a little bit boring compared to other parts...but still worked well into the plot

3. well, I'm a bit disappointed about how you resolved the Ordinary Guy-Kal El/Superman/Clark Kent conflict...Clark Kent made the Kal El persona forgettable here, unlike Lois made in depth character analysis on Ordinary Guy

overall, your story is great,especially on how Superman act deceiving Luthor and the epilogue (not to mention a completely peaceful HoL/BaTP)

Sweet ending. I'm so glad Lois was in on the capture and arrest of Luthor. It was nice to see her NOT be the victim but play an active role as investigator.

Great idea for the extra-lead lined suit. That sure came in handy and it also helped spread the (untrue) notion that Kryptonite doesn't hurt Superman. I hope that means that it wasn't the go-to weapon for anyone going up against Superman.

I, too, am curious how and why Luthor died in his cell, especially since no reason was given. It makes me wonder if Tempus time-windowed in and replaced him with a body double, but your epilogue doesn't mention coming across Luthor in the future, so that must be conjecture. Maybe Lois and Clark's descendants will be forced to deal with that menace.

I was worried when Clark told Lois his full story at HER apartment after Lex had ordered hidden microphones and cameras installed in the last part. Weren't those still active, even if Lois was "on a cruise"?

You really did a great job of building up the plot to keep us coming back for more. It was so refreshing to have Lois help capture the delusional Luthor (did he really think he could convince her to marry him after she turned him down, just by getting rid of Superman? ) I really enjoyed this story.

Somehow you managed to put a great deal into one part!


Bernie!

Now this is really different! In the early days of the series Jimmy had a friend who worked at S.T.A.R. Labs and ran a few minor tests as a favor to him. As time went on they were making tests on various items for Lois and Clark in particular and the Daily Planet in general. Some of that testing had to have been rather expensive. How does the laboratory get paid? As far as I know, this is the first time anyone ever mentioned this little tidbit. So the question remains; how does The Daily Planet reimburse them?


Excellent peek into Clark's childhood. It must have been painful listening to the other child taunt him about his adoption. But on the flip side, he could not bear to see others being bullied. Even at an early age he showed signs of being a hero in the truest sense. Nicely done.


Perfect exchange. The word will spread in the underworld that kryptonite is useless.

Satisfying end to a good story ... but

Why did Lex suddenly die in prison? Was it of natural causes or is the reason a more sinister one? Your epilogue did not go into any details.

Hi YantyChen!


Oops. Thought I'd explained that, but I see not. I'll be revising the final chapter, and will add the cause of death. It ends up being a brain tumor from exposure to kryptonite, which was subsequently found to be a long-term health hazard to humans. (Another reason for the bad guys to avoid it, in addition to it apparently not affecting Superman)


Would you prefer more details for those parts? I am going to be writing a revision to include a timetable before submitting this story to the archives. If there's interest, I can expand those parts. And may do it anyway. What do you think?


Actually, that was the point. That the Clark Kent persona is dominant to the Lord Kal-El and Superman personas. That's one of the reasons I was hooked initially into watching LnC. Instead of having Superman be real and Clark the disguise, this show had Clark be the real person. The George Reeves Superman TV show intro even said he was "disguised as a mild mannered reporter."

Although I didn't make it clear, at this point the Lord Kal-El persona appears only briefly then disappears until he's needed again. That's actually what I thought happened in the NK Arc, especially where he's asked why he thinks he can give orders, and he forcefully replies, "Because I'm your Commander." I don't recall that aspect of his personality appearing after the NK Arc, although I could be remembering wrong.

Glad you liked the story overall.

Thanks for sticking with it & commenting!

Hi Virginia!


Thanks. Since she believed Superman that Lex was dirty, it made sense that she'd be actively involved. I thought she'd have to see for herself whether he was or not. I thought the "guys" excluding her would raise her hackles and she'd end up putting herself in more danger. And I've always thought that Lois as a victim seems so out of character for her.


Thanks. I've read about lead suits in a couple of fanfics, but none this early. The whole point was to save Clark from the torture of the cage and to get the word on the street that kryptonite was not life-threatening to Superman.


Never thought of Tempus being involved. Actually, I'd think he'd be more likely to want Luthor alive & out of jail to wreck havoc with Lois and Clark. I thought of suicide or murder, in addition to deciding finally it was kryptonite, which was then announced to be a long-term health hazard to humans. At least the green was. That could still leave the red around to provide angst for L & C.


Thanks for seeing that. Actually Superman and the MPD cleared the surveillance equipment. Since it was Luthor Technologies, yet another investigation into Luthor. The cameras and microphones were evidence. Will also make add that to this chapter when I revise the cause of death.


Thanks. This plot seemed to be taking on a life of its own.
Yeah, he was that delusional.

Glad you liked the story. Thanks for reading & commenting!

Hi Morgana!


I have no idea how the Daily Planet reimbursed Star Labs, or if they ever did. They also did the analysis on Miranda's perfume very quickly, which could have been very expensive.

While it's nice to think of researchers as doing research for research sake, they do have to make a living. I figured those watches would be VERY expensive. Since Bernie was already providing the prototype cloth for suits, providing watches too seemed way out of his budget.


Thanks. Clark in the show was such a cheerful guy with only occasional glimpses into the emotional pain he suffered (his discussion with Jonathan about his dream of a family in the Pilot and the pain of being out of control from red kryptonite in Lethal Weapon jump out to me). I thought Lois discovering this, from both his parents and Clark would give her a needed glimpse into why Clark protected himself by hiding his true self like she hid her true self after her bad experiences with Claude, etc. And that would connect the two of them with shared painful pasts. Clark moving past his so well and trusting her could explain how Lois was able to also put hers behind her, moving on to a loving relationship with Clark.


My error. Will be updating the epilogue next to explain that he died from kryptonite exposure.

Thanks for reading & commenting!

good idea *how could I insert smiley here?* :thumbup:

out of curiosity...again. I think Luthor didn't have much time exposed to kryptonite sufficiently to grow such malignant tumor. but again,you can comfortably modify the part, hehe
It starts from Superman flew Lois to Smallville, Lois creating Clark's cousin disguise, Lois return as Logan and investigation team. As I said before, it still worked perfectly well in the plot, but it didn't feel lively...

maybe you can add several dialogue or stuff something...

yeah,I agree with you. Clark Kent as the dominant persona should be the golden standard of Superman universe. What I mean here is since we now have Lord Kal-El persona emerging, it should be more interesting that this persona also have some kind of,um...more characterization and relationship with other...

when I read this part, I felt particularly seeing Clark and I don't see why Kal-El must emerge here though. That's why I sae the Kal El becomes forgettable and unnecessary here.

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As Morgana pointed out, you did a great job bringing Clark's childhood conflict which become the basis why he create secret identity.

Hi Cuidadora,

I enjoyed the final part of this story. I would have liked to have been shown some of the things we were just told about, however. For example, I always love seeing Lois interacting with the Kents, especially when she is first getting to know them. I would have liked to have seen the brief description of her time on the farm greatly expanded. It would have been nice to read some of the discussions they had had, for example.

I think yours may have been the most gentle revelation I have ever read. I like the way that Clark introduced the topic and that Lois didn't freak out at all, but accepted his discussion so matter-of-factly. Her having given so much thought to Ordinary Guy helped her, I'm sure, to accept his explanation without her usual hysterics.

And once again, I enjoyed how you were able to strike a wonderful balance in both sticking to and deviating from canon.

Well done!

Joy,
Lynn

Wonderful conclusion ...

I have to agree with Lynn--I enjoyed your take on the revelation. It was a nice, different change to see Clark be able to explain everything to Lois, and for Lois to accept and understand Clark in a more forthcoming matter.

I had never read a story where Superman had a lead-lined suit made to help counter-effect Kryptonite. So for me, that was a really interesting way of thinking. It makes a ton of sense, and really, I'm surprised we don't hear more about this idea. The hood, also...how helpful was that?

I was impressed by how you were able to have a totally different story than the one we know, BUT be able to use some of the same great dialogue from the script. That's really awesome how you could still work different quotes into your story--even with all the changes that you made to the end of the first season. Very cool!

I'm really glad you continued this piece--it's been a joy to read these last four parts .

Laura

Hi again YantyChen!

Thanks for taking the time to comment again and to explain your thinking. It has helped me immensely.
I agree with you about the narration and have decided to add more to the narrative parts, including some dialogue. Real life has become very busy, so I won't give a timetable for when it'll be done.


The reason for including Kal-El here is that Clark thinks more strategically than he did in Season 1. It's more a matter of his thought processes shifting than actually seeing Kal-El physically. In many ways Clark remained the naive farm boy in canon, and when watching the NK Arc I was struck how he appeared to become a military commander at that point. He seemed to have a different personality as Kal-El than as either Superman or Clark. I wanted to explain why he thought of the watches, the lead-lined suit, insisting the group work in pairs and suddenly acted like the leader. His preparations gave him a rationale for getting out of that kryptonite cage with minimal pain, exposure and angst.

I'll also look at tweaking that to make it more clear before sending the final version to the archives.

Thanks again for your thoughtful analysis!

Hi Lynn!

Thanks for reading and commenting!


I agree with you and will be rewriting those sections. Lois definitely needs to have her Martha and Jonathan time shown rather than just told. I'll be rewriting those sections and will post the update when done.


Thank you. I think showing what happened in Smallville will also strengthen the believability of this section. Thanks for the suggestion!


Glad that you liked it. You're right it was a balancing act, but a fun one!

Thanks for reading and commenting!

Hi Laura!


Thanks. I know that Lois's initial emotional response is usually anger and/or hurt, and I wanted to see if there was a believable way for her to react calmly at the revelation. I'm glad it worked.


There are a couple of stories out there where a lead-lined suit was used. I don't recall anyone using a lead hood and having it protect Clark from kryptonite. I think there's one where he's captured and a hood is placed over his head so he can't see where he's going. I thought it would be fun and ironic to turn the tables on the bad guys, having what they thought would be a weapon actually end up helping Clark.

I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Thanks again for reading & commenting!

I just re-read your revised version of Part 4. I really like your changes. It fleshes out the story and leaves the reader with no questions, save one. Sooooooo, how many kids did Lois and Clark end up with? Just joking.

I love how Luthor doesn't escape justice by (intentionally) killing himself. He deserved to spend much more than his 13 months in jail, though.

Great job! Thanks for sharing this revised version with us.

Hi Virginia!


Somehow I thought that would lead to a whole 'nother story...


Yeah, I suppose he did deserve more jail time. Maybe it will end up longer in the Archives version. My thought were to not prolong Lois and Clark's worries about him being around, even in maximum security. It does make sense that it should be longer exposure than presumably 13 months to kryptonite for him to develop cancer.

Glad you liked him not being able to commit suicide. It seemed like a control issue with him choosing his method and time of death. It seemed fitting to take that option away from him and at the same time put out the idea that kryptonite doesn't hurt Superman. With the new suit, it's less of a problem.

Thanks for re-reading and commenting!

Hi Cuidadora,

I love the new-and-improved version of Lois's stay. It had exactly the sorts of interactions I had been wanting to read about. Thank you, and brava!

Joy,
Lynn

Hi Lynn!

Thanks and you're welcome! Glad you liked this version.

I like this version better. We should send it over and have them redo the series now.

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.