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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
So I know it's late and just in time for the mbs to be going doing for a while. My betas had some concerns about this final chapter, and I don't know that I fixed any of them, but I spent an awful lot of time staring at it anyway. If you hated it, then don't blame my beta because they tried to get me to change it. If you loved it (and I sure hope you did!), then you can blame them because I never would have finished it without their willingness to come back to it and their reminders about it while I was away. So thanks Lynn, Morgana, and Deadly Chakram! And thank you to all of you who have read it and loved it and let me know what you think and gave me such a warm welcome back! 
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3 |
Oh, A-K, you give me chillbumps on my heart.
Since I can't write WAFFy stuff like this without it coming out like purple pancake syrup, I can't tell what concerned your betas. As far as I can tell, it was better than Beauty and the Beast and Shrek combined (of course, Shrek was a bent retelling of BatB with even more angst). I understand Clark's certainty that Lois would never love him for who he was, yet I also understand his quick acceptance of her confession.
Lois' declaration of love and her explanation not only made perfect sense, it dovetailed perfectly with her actions and her words, right down to her hesitancy and expressed fear that he wouldn't believe her. If she had planned for a month to storm that particular castle, she couldn't have done it any more efficiently than she did. She didn't even need a Holocaust cloak, although a wheelbarrow would have come in handy when Clark was so weak.
Wonderful story. Wonderful romantic tale, even with all the action and Luthor's betrayal and murderous intentions and everything but a maniacal cackle. And I loved it that Lois came up with a way to save Clark. She perjured herself, surrendered a big piece of her own heart for truth and justice in order to protect the man she really loved. Then she convinced him to follow her lead without trying to leverage him using their possible romantic relationship. Again, the ideal way to convince Clark that she was utterly sincere.
I'm certain there's a Kerth nomination coming your way next year. You certainly deserve it.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 256
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 256 |
I'm on the way to bed (yes, it's 2 AM...) but I wanted to say ![[Linked Image]](http://accioyarn.com/misc/gifs/yaysmilesa-smiley.gif) Great ending!! Thank you for a happy ending  And Terry, LOL for references to The Princess Bride. True love, indeed!! 
"It's the mythology of a sun god who wished he was a man because he saw something so great in us. It's the story of a hero who could move whole worlds and see through stars and hear a whisper on the other side of the planet... ...and who fell in love with a storyteller." - ashmaht (x)
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
I read this last night, but didn't have time to respond, and didn't have a chance to before boards shut-down this morning. This part makes me both happy  and sad  . Happy that Lois is now willing to give Clark a chance and HE KNOWS IT! Sad that your story has now run its course. His floor, marked with swirling constellations of pain, crimson and rust, galaxies of torment and grief--but it was red, and it proved he could bleed, and for now, with Clark so newly restored to him, released from his tiny, claustrophobic cage, he let himself believe that the blood only proved how very human he was.
Vulnerable and destructible, yes, and therefore *human*.
*Not* alien. Not completely isolated. Just…different.
Clark. What you see is what you get, and that meant red blood poured from a dangerous wound was nothing more than what happened to anyone and everyone when they were stabbed. I love Clark's thought process on this. Here he is, dressed as Superman, scrubbing the floor like Clark, amazed that it took him being stabbed to realize how similar he was to everyone else. Beautifully written. You always astound me on the little details you find of Clark and Lois's personalities. “Clark,” she said, almost in surprise, her eyes locked on his. No, not on him--on his *glasses*. The glasses he’d never thought he’d get to wear again. She stared, and then she gave him a small smile--not nervous, not a mask over tension--but so shy and sweet that Clark felt his heart squeezed into a pliant, hopeful thing inside his chest, all hopeful eagerness and reserved wariness. I'm guessing she's wondering more why he's wearing his glasses when he doesn't need to, (i.e. since she knows his secret now) instead of being thrilled that he's wearing them at all. As soon as she reached the bottom of the stairs, Lois spun to face him, holding up the large paper bag. “I brought breakfast. Or dinner, whichever it is. I mean, it’s the middle of the night, so I guess the proper definition would be midnight snack, but we’ve missed meals and I’m not really even sure what day it is right now so this would be…” She trailed off, then, as if even she had gotten lost on that one. “Anyway,” she said with a false brightness, shaking her head, “I know this twenty-four hour place and they’re pretty good--not great, but good--so I stopped by and picked us up something.” I didn't realize it was the middle of the night. For some reason, I thought when Lois left Superman at Clark's apartment (post surgery) it was the morning after Lex had stabbed him, which is why she said that she'd return later with dinner. But she kept talking, jumbles of words and sentences and questions tumbling from her mouth, a veritable storm of syllables that didn’t really mean anything but managed to clumsily, haphazardly weave a sort of cocoon around the two of them, scanty and pocked with holes but just enough to remind them of what they’d once been--partners and friends.
He wasn’t actually very hungry--Kryptonite made him sick and *lesser* and vulnerable, hungry only for sunlight--but Lois set the food out before him so earnestly, all the same kinds of Chinese dishes he’d brought her that first all-nighter they’d pulled at the Planet, when everything had seemed open and full of promise. When he’d looked at her and realized he had a chance…until she saw him looking and then shot him down. Interesting that he's associating her bringing Chinese food with that first meal that they shared and her rejection of him, and then assuming it was subtle hint that she's trying to impart to him now. "Don't fall for me, farm boy." She’d warned him. She’d warned him, and if he weren’t so used to wearing a mask himself, if he hadn’t so fully convinced himself that her warning was a mask too and he only needed time and patience to earn her trust so she could remove it around him, then he’d have listened to her. Listened to her and cautioned his heart to tread lightly, to act wisely, to not go giving itself out to the best investigative reporter in the world who’d expressly *told* him not to fall for her. /scoffing/ Yeah. Right. Doubting that would have worked. But Lois still wasn’t looking at him, and so she didn’t seem to notice the smile. Her fork made tiny, repetitive clinking noises as she nudged it against her plate once, again, again. “We…we *are* still friends, Clark. Aren’t we?” she asked, her voice so small, so shrunken, so timid.
Before he could think better of it or second-guess himself, he reached out his hand and placed it over hers, silencing the fork and his own misgivings and hopefully her doubts. “Of course, Lois,” he promised. “I’ll always be your friend.” Awwwww. That Lois wasn't sure. And Awwwww. Clark's answer. “Lois,” Clark said, his heart reclaimed inside him and skipping about in his chest like a precocious child, uncontainable, finding playmates in his lungs, inflating them with air so light it was like cotton candy or spun sugar rather than oxygen. “You didn’t have to do that.” Aw, Lois. You had him when you returned bearing food. Add gifts and he'll never let you leave his heart, now. Not that he paid much attention to them when he pulled the paper away to reveal a VHS copy of ‘Beauty And The Beast.’ This one, I assume: (There's supposed to be a picture of Disney's animated B&tB but for some reason it's not showing up. I'm guessing too many quotes.  ) ![[Linked Image]](http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTc0MzM1Njk1OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNjQxMTkwNw@@._V1_SX214_AL_.jpg) Released 1991. His puzzlement at this gift matched mine. “Lois…” He studied the two items laid out on the table before him. He tried for light-hearted, reaching for a smile and pretending he’d reached it despite the lengths by which it failed. “Do you think I’m going to have a lot of downtime? I know the wound looked bad, but I heal fast. And I know the Planet isn’t up and running right now, but with Luthor out of the picture, surely we can find a way to rebuild. Start over again.” Also, once he gets his powers back, he'll be able to read the book in less than a minute. Clark regarded her for a long moment, then he nodded and ripped open the last of her gifts, splitting a line down the double columns of one of Eduardo’s articles. This was the most puzzling of all--a comic book, blaringly bright and graphic against the muted colors of Clark Kent’s surroundings. “Spider-Man?” he asked. This time he did catch a smile to send her way along with a sidelong glance. “I didn’t know you were into comics.” I love that Clark's seeing these gifts just as gifts, not as metaphors. But he hadn’t been right about anything she’d said for so long. Hadn’t been able to guess her actions or thoughts even from the beginning, when she’d constantly surprised him by switching between entrancing strength and compelling vulnerability, and he didn’t know if he could stand to be disappointed again. Yea! Clark's finally not jumping to conclusions. “Look,” Lois said suddenly, straightening and nudging her hand a bit closer to his on the table, palm-up. “I know it’s stupid, but they were all I could find on short notice, and obviously the analogies don’t really work at *all*--I mean, Beauty and the Beast…well, I guess I’d be the Beast in that one--and that’s not very flattering, is it. And the Hunchback…that’s even worse, and the ending is awful, and they don’t end up together, which is…” Her breaths came short and quick, as if she were terrified, but she was still so resolute, so *fierce*, so beautiful, and Clark could only gape at her. Good signs. Lois just called him beautiful and that she wants them to end up together. he told me that everyone in Spider-Man’s city thinks he’s the bad guy. Thinks he’s a monster. But…” She looked up, met Clark’s gaze, caught him so that he felt like a deer in the headlights, like a moth in the instant before it crashed and burned against the lantern. “But he’s actually the hero.” Awwwww. Lois still thinks Clark is her hero. But he’d already said them. Once, again, again, *again*, and he’d dreamed that she could return them, maybe even that she *wanted* to give them back to him. Dreams, though, that was all they had been. They felt real, rang loud and resplendent in his memory, side by side with pictures of days gone by when they’d posed each other friendly bets and laughed at the same movies and perched on each other’s desks. They all felt real, but he was deaf and powerless and mute, and if he said these three words--spoke them into existence again, let them enter the harshness of reality--and she *didn’t* say them back…then he’d be wounded, too. Crippled and felled and destroyed so utterly that he didn’t think there’d be a recovery.
*I love you.* The most beautiful, and the most damaging three words of any language he knew. Yes, I can understand why he'd be scared to say them now. And also why he loves her more than ever. Clark tried to clench his jaw to keep back the words, but he couldn’t. His mouth was fixed in the softest, most wistful of smiles, tiny and wan but there and *hopeful*, and so he couldn’t tense up, couldn’t hold himself aloof or draw back behind a shroud of numbness. “Try me,” he dared her in little more than a whisper. “What do you want me to believe?” He's going to make her say it.  “I love *you*, Clark. The reason I told Lex I couldn’t give him my answer right away was because all I could think of was *you*. I didn’t know if you would still be my friend if I told him yes. I didn’t know if you would still look at me the same way--and I *want* you to look at me that way. I want--”
“Then look at me now,” Clark interrupted, and he stopped fighting himself. Stopped holding himself back. Stopped caging himself in the deadening numbness that made him feel more alien, more cut off, more isolated, than his powers ever had. Stopped denying who he was. Stopped compressing his heart into the tiniest, darkest of boxes to try to pretend it wasn’t the property of Lois Lane. Awwwww. /sigh/ You make me remember why I like our Clark best. Better than those Superman who only use Clark as a disguise. And then, with his name on her lips, with her smile in his eyes, she kissed him. And there were no words--no capital letters, no periods, no beginnings or ends, not even names--just her and him.
Together.
And it was perfect. You took the words right out of my mouth.  Exactly. It was perfect. From beginning to end. Thank you for popping in and letting us walk in Clark's shoes for a while. And though you may have tortured us, quite a bit actually, you have let us end with a smile. EDIT: Okay, I think I got everything that was messed up during the upgrade back to the way it was beforehand. Sorry about that, Anti-K. Great story!
Last edited by VirginiaR; 04/29/14 12:46 AM.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 397 Likes: 1
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 397 Likes: 1 |
This entire story has been captivating. You right very well, drawing me out of the world and deep into your creation, until the chapter ends and all the lights and sounds come back on. Thank you!
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,332
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,332 |
Wonderful story! Action, Adventure, Angst!
You Evil Writer you (slightly inside joke from another thread). You had me holding my breath almost the entire story as Clark proved once again (and again and again) just how big of a lunkhead he can be. It might be difficult to find another story of similar length where Clark jumps to so many wrong conclusions...
Similar to what Virginia said, this story is about the heart of Lois and Clark and why it is in my opinion the best take on the myth ever done. It can be summed up in 11 words "Clark is who I am, Superman is what I can do".
Mike
Create all the happiness you are able to create.
Remove all the misery you are able to remove.
Jeremy Bentham
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,384
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,384 |
Aww, that was a lovely ending. “What I’m trying to say,” Lois whispered, “is that I…I…oh, wow, this is *hard*. I don’t know how you did this, Clark!”
“Did what?” I actually read the ending back when you first posted, but I'm only now able to post a reply. I'm sure if I go back and re-read, I will find lots of lines just crying out to be quoted as favorites, but for now, the one thing that stayed in my mind was this. This made me smile. It's nice to see Lois now appreciates just how hard it must have been, what a vulnerable position Clark put himself in, what a leap he took for her. And Clark's confusion is adorable. “I love you, Clark!” Lois blurted. There, see, Lois? It was hard, but you did it! Thanks for posting this wonderful story. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. 
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,332
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,332 |
I was having trouble with how timid she has been throughout the back half story but can finally maybe understand her confusion since this is season 1 and she had never seen Superman incapacitated before. She saw him as Clark be incapacitated by the Kryptonite but did not recognize that. But she had never before seen him powerless as Superman. Her perfect hero wasn't so perfect after all. He lies when he needs to and is vulnerable to this green rock. It probably was quite a bit to take in in such a short period of time.
I still kept waiting for the Real Lois Lane to appear and yell "Shut your mouth and keep it shut until I tell you to open it again!" at all of Clark's interruptions of her trying to get her feelings out there. I guess it kind of happened between Chapter 7 and 8.
Mike
Create all the happiness you are able to create.
Remove all the misery you are able to remove.
Jeremy Bentham
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,466
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,466 |
And it was! Hate to see it end, Anti-K, but I've been really anxious to see how they would get together  . Wonderful story, perfect ending. It was a such an enjoyably emotional ride to go on the last few weeks... It hurt. His muscles ached, his bones thrummed with exhausted echoes of pain, his skin felt ripped along the seams where the tiny white scars were still engraved, and crouching on his hands and knees scrubbing with all of an ordinary man’s might did nothing but aggravate his condition. But he didn’t stop. In fact, he scrubbed harder, pushed himself further, courted the feeling of exhaustion and toil and aches. It was unusual, it was *different*--it was perfect. Really enjoyed this paragraph--cleaning up the 'past'...getting things back to normal. The thought process involved--how he's not 100% yet and really 'feels' this work that he is doing. It was written really well... Its bright colors were dimmed, cast into shadow, all but turned to black when Clark kicked it away into a corner and turned to his closet. Not the secret closet, but the ordinary one. The one completely filled with variety and shades and textures, a mass of options and choices laid out for him, so much more freeing than a single outfit, a single course, a single mask. A big moment--getting out of that filthy suit (a suit that he thought he'd have to wear, always wear), and standing there, deciding (having the option to decide) what to wear as himself--as Clark. I like how you described just how much more of a 'choice' it was to get dressed as Clark It felt like coming home when he slid the glasses into place. I was cheering here. Yah Clark! She stared, and then she gave him a small smile--not nervous, not a mask over tension--but so shy and sweet that Clark felt his heart squeezed into a pliant, hopeful thing inside his chest, all hopeful eagerness and reserved wariness. “Clark,” she said again, as if locking him into that identity, and he felt, suddenly, as if he didn’t have to hold on so tightly to it anymore. Really loved this part...Lois realizing that 'Clark' is back. It was really effective to have her grasp the importance of the glasses--and to have Clark notice this, that she sees 'him' as back with her. But nonetheless, he was more than happy to sit at the table, his elbow warmed by the heat emanating from her large paper bag, and watch her bustle around his kitchen, all energetic purpose and determined focus. He’d learned, through all this, just how precious these little moments were, how fragile happiness could be, how frail were those instances of complete perfection, and he was content to sit there and savor this one moment. Because he’d also learned not to reach for impossible things or to let dreams taint reality, learned to take what he could get, and this moment--Lois chattering away and saying nothing as she pulled out plates and forks and napkins and bottles of water--was mundane heaven. Paradise on earth. This section was beautiful! Clark in the moment...realizing how perfect it was. His mind resting--and letting him really enjoy an 'ordinary' moment with Lois. If it was, he’d pick it up and start eating again, would drag out their midnight dinner for hours just to keep her there I loved this little addition--how he'd keep eating, keep doing what he was doing--if it only meant to have Lois right there with him. Awww.... So there were no distractions, no excuses, no exits, just him and Lois, and he sat at his table and stared at the woman he loved and felt three words burning like coals on his tongue. Curled up there, like eggs about to hatch--laid by that fluttering, shrieking hope--tapping and pecking at their shells, begging to be released. Great analogy--great ability to show how much Clark really does love Lois. She's everything to him. “What I’m trying to say,” Lois whispered, “is that I…I…oh, wow, this is *hard*. I don’t know how you did this, Clark!”
“Did what?” he asked, and wondered if he was about to wake in his bed, left hanging, waiting for an answer that would never come. It was mentioned already, but I really loved this part, too...Lois' 'I don't know how you did this, Clark!' was perfectly placed. “Look, if you don’t believe me, or if you think I’m only saying it because you’re Superman--because Superman is *you*--then I…I understand. And if you can never love me again, then I don’t blame you. I know I messed this up, and I pushed you away, and the odds of this working after everything that’s happened between us are completely against us. But if there’s even the slightest chance--if there’s even the *possibility* that there could be more between us--more than partnership or friendship…then I have to try, Clark. I *have* to. I can’t let you slip away in the middle of the night without even saying goodbye or without thinking that it…without *knowing* that it would break my heart to not have you in my life.” YES!!!!!!  “I love you, Clark!” Lois blurted. “And it’s not because of Superman--even though I *do* love him. But I love him a thousand times more because he’s *you*.” There were tears, like precious jewels, teetering on the edges of her eyes, falling over the precipice, tracing gilded lines along the curve of her cheekbones. “I love *you*, Clark. The reason I told Lex I couldn’t give him my answer right away was because all I could think of was *you*. I didn’t know if you would still be my friend if I told him yes. I didn’t know if you would still look at me the same way--and I *want* you to look at me that way. I want--”
“Then look at me now,” Clark interrupted, and he stopped fighting himself. Stopped holding himself back. Stopped caging himself in the deadening numbness that made him feel more alien, more cut off, more isolated, than his powers ever had. Stopped denying who he was. Stopped compressing his heart into the tiniest, darkest of boxes to try to pretend it wasn’t the property of Lois Lane. OMG--Loved This! '-and I want you to look at me that way. I want-' 'Then look at me now'...WAFFY, wonderful, perfect. I read these two paragraphs I don't know how many times... Really hate the story to come to an end...thank you so much for sharing it with us all! Looking forward to anything else in the future  A big fan  Laura
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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