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#251541 03/15/14 02:51 PM
Joined: Apr 2013
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Feedback topic for (working title) Operation Argus!

If you've read through it, you know now that I'm going for an AU approach that builds in a little mystery. Biggest question for you help is how do you think I should continue beyond this first part? Stick with Lois in the "present" and unravel things as she finds them? Or go back to the beginning with Clark's perspective and lay it all out? I'm honestly undecided between the two. I like the idea of sticking with Lois, but then that means really staying in her point of view without getting into Clark's head at all, and I'm not sure I could resist that temptation. wink

Now I just have to get myself back into the rhythm of writing fiction. It's been too long!

#251542 03/17/14 09:02 AM
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I really like this premise. I've never seen this sort of take on Clark's absence.

I'm inclined to suggest that you to stick with Lois's perspective and follow her as she figures out what happened. I think you need to decide whether you want the reader to know stuff that Lois doesn't know. You could do flashbacks to Clark's perspective as she finds stuff out, but I think that would depend on how detailed you want to be.

I look forward to future chapters! smile


"It is a remarkable dichotomy. In many ways, Clark is the most human of us all. Then...he shoots fire from the skies, and it is difficult not to think of him as a god. And how fortunate we all are that it does not occur to him." -Batman (in Superman/Batman #3 by Jeph Loeb)
#251543 03/17/14 11:34 AM
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This is interesting perspective to SR. Clark not only left Earth without telling Lois, he didn't tell his mom. And when he returned he didn't crash land in Smallville, apparently.

I like the idea of Lois and Martha befriending each other. Does Lois think Clark is Jason's father or Superman? Why is Superman terrified of Lois?

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Biggest question for you [Help] is how do you think I should continue beyond this first part? Stick with Lois in the "present" and unravel things as she finds them? Or go back to the beginning with Clark's perspective and lay it all out? I'm honestly undecided between the two. I like the idea of sticking with Lois, but then that means really staying in her point of view without getting into Clark's head at all, and I'm not sure I could resist that temptation
I like the idea of slowly unfolding the mystery through Lois's POV, but since I don't know the mystery. Would you be able to move forward with what's happening with Lois, while moving backwards with what happened to Superman/Clark, starting with how he returned to Earth and ending the story with why he left? Not knowing the details you're planning on presenting us with, I'm just throwing out ideas. Although, I have to admit, my suggestion might be more difficult than the two you presented. I like Mrs. M's suggestion as well.

So far, I already like your story more than the movie. I'm curious what Operation Argus will turn out to be.

Also, when you post your story parts don't forget to check the blue arrow box, which indicates "STORY" to readers. laugh


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
#251544 03/17/14 12:06 PM
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Yay, feedback already! clap

Oh, thanks, Virginia R, I didn't catch that about the blue arrow! I'll have to go in and fix it.

Quote
This is interesting perspective to SR. Clark not only left Earth without telling Lois, he didn't tell his mom. And when he returned he didn't crash land in Smallville, apparently.
Did he leave Earth? All we know so far is that both Superman and Clark Kent disappeared. huh

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Does Lois think Clark is Jason's father or Superman?
She definitely doesn't think Clark is Jason's father, or else she would have confided that in Martha. That's why I went with "Aunt Martha" instead of "Grandma Kent."

Thanks to both for the advice on moving forward. I think I can sprinkle in some non-Lois perspectives to start shaping some of the background without giving things away too quickly. I've spent the last day or so sketching out the basics of what happened so I can at least keep track in my own head, and realized it could be sort of dry (and a little dark) to go back and start from the disappearance. Moving forward in a mystery fashion looks better from pretty much all angles!

#251545 03/24/14 06:50 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
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Top Banana
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Great premise! I tend to favor staying in Lois' perspective... I also tend to do this in my own fics as well, because we often get very little of Lois' perspective on the screen. I think it would be a more interesting story...

Definitely keep writing! Your style flows nicely, and is well-written! smile


Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way. wink

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