My cousin, Bob, is a molecular geneticist. Last spring, he created a exact genetic duplicate of himself and grew it to maturation in the special process he developed after seeing it done on "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman."
He and his lab assistants left the clone maturing in the lab over Spring Break as they enjoyed the wild and woolly collegians in Newfoundland. Unfortunately, one of the assistants left a television tuned to HBO on in the background. As it happened, that HBO channel did a retrospective of rude and vulgar comedians that week. So when Bob returned to the lab, his clone had learned every vile and foul word and term broadcast over that week.
As it turned out, Bob never presented the clone for peer review or anywhere else due to his foul vocabulary. So - because he worked in downtown Dallas - he finally gave up on the experiment and took the clone to the middle of the Trinity River bridge. As the clone leaned over the railing to watch the water flowing past (he'd never seen a river), Bob grabbed his ankles and flipped him up and over the side into the river. The clone, being unable to swim, naturally drowned.
Unfortunately for Bob, three of Dallas's finest saw the incident and arrested him. When he was booked, the charge read, "Making an obscene clone fall."
