Lois & Clark Forums Forums General Discussion Off Topic An Engaging Announcement

I hope everyone's holiday was as eventful as mine. I got engaged!

My boyfriend of almost 3 years (our anniversary is August 13th) took me to one of our local zoos on the 3rd and proposed to me in front of the penguins... my absolute favorite animal. It was very sweet.

We have a tentative date set for August 13th, 2008.

Any advice you could give us on how to get started with planning the wedding would be GREATLY appreciated!

Here's my ring:



And here's the happy couple:

Aww! That's so sweet. Congratulations! My brother got married last year and they planned a huge wedding. Roughly 500 people. Anyway, I'm trying to remember all the things they went though to plan it... I seem to remember my sister in law buying a book with a huge checklist in it. She kept track of things using that and it all went pretty smoothly. Gosh, I'm sorry I'm not too much help about this! Lol, I really just wanted to post to offer my congratulations. As for what to do first, I'm sure some of the married FOLCs can help you out more than I can.

--Laura

First and foremost: Congratulations! I remember coming up with a guest list to be among the most stressful, then came finding a place for the reception and wedding. Once you have that down then you can work in the invitations, dress, decorations, catering, music etc.

Nowadays a lot of places have packages--for instance the hotels I looked at (I got hitched 2 years ago) came with basic decor plans, menus for catering and a list of djs/bands depending on what you're into and include discounted prices for hotel rooms for out of town guests as well as the honeymoon suite. There are really excellent websites where you can make a webpage for your guests with all the details (including the registry) and also see their rsvp. That's all that comes to me at the moment, I'm sorry if its uselessly basic. Anyway congrats again!

Oh, that's such an adorable proposal, congratulations! Well, I just finished up with my best friend's wedding, and she had one of those special checklist books for weddings that seemed really helpful. And even though this is early to think about, she also had this emergency bag for the actual wedding day. Anything can be fixed with duct tape LOL.

www.theknot.com was pretty helpful. They made a page for themselves, and you can list all the cute stuff about where you met, etc, and then all the really helpful stuff like where the wedding is going to be, where you're registered...

Depending on where you want to have the ceremony and/or reception, the places you check out might have connections--dj's and bands they like, caterers they've used before, etc.

And your ring ROCKS.

JD

Congrats!!

Trinity,

Congratulations! I hope you will be very happy! And your ring is beautiful.

Wedding - Hm. The very best piece of advice I got was that the wedding was just a day, but the marriage was (with all hope) a lifetime. If I kept that in mind, I would do well. So far, 17 years later, I'm still keeping it in mind.

Practically, I looked at my wedding and said that it was time or money. You can do things inexpensively, but you'll spend time on it, OR you can spend money. What's your priority? Once you decide that, there are plenty of planners available that will help you do the planning.

Again, congratulations! That's so exciting, and you are a very cute couple. I wish you much happiness.

mmouse

Congratulations! I got married a little over a year ago. Looking back, my fondest memories are of the honeymoon. Don't get me wrong, the wedding is a HUGE special moment, but being able to take time out, just the two of us, was really special.

I did a lot of outside the box thinking in planning my wedding. This was mostly because I didn't want to spend a fortune on the wedding--it left us more for the honeymoon. I bought my dress off ebay, bought a lot of stuff at the dollar store (don't laugh, it worked, and I was having an informal outdoor type of wedding), and I got really lucky in finding the place to hold the wedding. We got married in a park, and the reception was held in a small one room cottage with a kitchen, restrooms, and a small deck that sat in the middle of the park. The best part was that this cottage only cost us $20 per hour, when most reception halls cost $50+ per hour.

I did a lot of research online--that's how I found the place. I searched for parks, reception halls, places that specialized in weddings. I also did not hire a caterer. I bought my own food and had a lot of help from family and friends in preparing it the day before. We prepared simple fruit and veggie trays, and sandwich trays. You can also have the trays made for not a whole lot more by your nearest grocery store. It really all depends on what you want and how much you plan to spend. And of course, I realize that I was lucky--I had a lot of help. Not everyone has that. Sometimes it's a must to hire people, or just plain more convenient.

Anyway, I've rambled on long enough. Good luck in your wedding plans and congrats again!

ETA: I almost forgot, I printed out my own invites, too. I think I paid $35 for a box of 50 at a stationary store. They had a ton of different designs to choose from. I did the printing from my home printer. Just something else to think about.

Congratulations! The ring is gorgeous!

Advice based on my wedding *cough* years ago (which went smoothly) and my brother's last year (which went LESS smoothly):

1. Watch Bridezillas on tv, then don't become one!
2. Have open lines of communication with your fiance and both sides of the family (especially if they will be helping to pay for the wedding).
3. Do research online about wedding costs and make a realistic budget (and assume it will cost 10% more!) Have a candid discussion involving all parties about who will commit to covering which costs. Do NOT be shy about putting financial details on the table for everyone to rationally consider. Consider creating a new checking account and having parties deposit funds into it, then using a debit card to pay for wedding items. Keep receipts with the monthly statements so everyone knows how the money is being spent.
4. Do not sacrifice your future financial stability for one day of partying with 500 of your closest friends. Spend money on the aspects of the wedding that you and your fiance feel are the most special and important.
5. Spend good money on professional photography. Set out disposable cameras on the reception tables for friends to get fun candid shots.
6. Incorporate traditions from both sides of your families into the wedding to make the day unique and meaningful to you.
7. Be sensitive regarding your guest list. Include or exclude potential guests in an equitable manner and for rational or practical reasons. If you anticipate that someone may be hurt by not being invited, preempt any bad feelings by communicating with them in advance.
8. Life is not perfect! View any "mistakes" on the wedding day as unique stories to tell to your grandchildren (or as the footage that will help you win America's Funniest Home Videos).

I'm sure I could go on, but I'll let others contribute as well! Susan

Congratulations, Trinity! I agree with everyone, you are a very cute couple, and your ring is wonderful. So, a little more than a year from now your last name won't be Swenson anymore, eh?

I also think that it's a good idea not to spend wildly on your wedding. A friend of mine told me about some people she knows - they took a rather big loan in order to have a splendid wedding. And their wedding was certainly great, but their married life afterwards was not so great, because money was really tight! So now that you have a year to plan it all, why not look for some cheaper solutions when it comes to the wedding itself? This friend of mine who told me about the unfortunate couple who blew much of their married life money on their wedding, she herself had a "Dutch treat wedding" - all the "guest couples" brought one dish, either a starter, a main course or a dessert - enough for five to ten persons. There were about fifty guests all in all. But since everbody had brought something they liked a lot, the food was delicious, and the bride and groom didn't have to fix or pay for the food at all.

Ann

Congratulations! *hug*

I hope you'll have lots of fun planning your wedding - and, of course, the time after that. I hope you'll always stay like that:

Mellie

Ooooh, congrats! Happy wedding planning.

-- DJ

Ooh congratulations! My friend's husband (though he's a friend of mine too and I've known him a little longer than I've known her) proposed on her birthday too and actually sent her round Sydney on a treasure hunt with her housemates at the time. Also he's asked her father first before proposing.

Congratulations, Trinity! Sounds like a sweet guy you have there and what a lovely ring! All best wishes for your future happiness.

LabRat

Congratulations!

I was a bridesmaid a few years ago for my best friend... she actually asked me to be her maid of honor. I was flattered, but do to school commitments and distance I couldn't be in the area enough to take on that responsibility. I recommend taking that into account when you pick your maid of honor and bridesmaid(s).

She had a big wedding with nearly 300 people, five bridesmaids, maid of honor, and the equivalent number of groomsmen and best man. She and her fiance let their families keep adding to the wedding party because, "Oh! He/she had to be in it!" The familes kept adding people that they had never heard of because they were, "your 8th cousin by marriage, etc." DON'T let your parents take over YOUR wedding.

My best friend also had her wedding in this gorgeous Catholic Church, with gold accents, murals all over the walls and ceiling (honestly, it like a mini version of the Sistene Chapel). Then her reception was in a banquet hall about twenty minutes away.

My neighbor got married and had a small wedding with just about 100 people. She had a package deal with the wedding location and reception. The alter had a backdrop of a river valley and the reception hall was within fifty feet on the same property. The building was remodeled to look like a small castle.

Another friend got married in a small garden gazeba on the beach (public beach) and the reception was held about fifty feet away in a reception hall that our city rents out to people. She had a buffet style dinner.

congradulations!!! In front of the pinguins, that's sweet.
good luck with planning!!

Congrats! The ring is lovely x 3.

I wish I could remember anything, but all I can remember is talking with our Wedding Planner and making various selections. A good Wedding Planner can really take a lot of pressure off you.

Congratulations you both! And what a gorgeous ring!! I'm jealous!