Lois & Clark Forums Forums General Discussion Off Topic corrupted wishes game

Granted. However, it's a little hard to fit yourself onto Barbie's sofa, loveseat, kitchen table, or bed.

I wish my pizza was here in front of me.

Granted. Unfortunately, also in front of you is the psycho delivery boy, who thinks you're his girlfriend and who is insisting on doing the whole pizza and movie thing together before he proposes...

I wish my darn Muse would just finish my fundraiser story already, instead of continually adding things to it instead!

LabRat

Granted, but afterwards your muse vows to never write another Lois and Clark fic ever again and promptly goes into retirement in the South of France.

I wish that I could sleep all day

EDIT! i goofed. got excited. changin' mine.

granted. In the south of france, LabRat's muse has a new job as the sandman, and sprinkles sand in your eyes, and you are very sleepy. you sleep, and more than somewhat. when you awaken, you find your name is now Rip Van Winkle.

I wish I could find the world's biggest cattle prod for MY so-called muse, who thinks that writing 17 words per night is blazing progress and that I shouldn't be strangling the life blood out of it.

Granted, except then the words start flowing and you can't make yourself stop no matter how much you really need to sleep or work.

So, you end up sleep-deprived and cranky eventually alienating everyone you know and losing your job due to your inability to arrive at work on time/at all. And you can't type anymore because you have carpal tunnel syndrome, but it's not bad enough to qualify for disability. The only job you can get is being a greeter at Wal-Mart--one that smells perpetually like empty beer bottles.

I wish they would start selling Flakes at the stores here.

Granted, but the store is then flooded with confused mobs of superficial young men looking for bubbleheaded girlfriends, and by the time you get to the front of the line, ready to ask for your simple bar of imported chocolate, the cashier has collapsed from a combination of exhaustion and frustration (having had to explain the difference to each and every one of the young men in question, one at a time) and the store is due to close anyway.

I wish... (Hmm... I had a few possible answers in mind for this one, maybe it's worth giving someone else a shot, too...) I wish I wasn't single anymore.

Paul

Granted! You just got yourself a wife. The only thing is, she's somewhat possessive. You never get to go out again because she fears you'll get involved in an affair. You also never get to use the Internet again because she's afraid of who you talk to and what you exactly do while you're online. And, of course, you can say goodbye to your home telephone, your mobile telephone, and your phonebook, while we're at it. And of course, no more TV! She can't risk you checking out other women, can she?

I wish my mother would cook lobster for dinner.

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

Granted, but the lobster refuses to get into the cooking pot and you end up eating nothing for dinner

I wish that I had more patience

Granted. You are now the most patient person in the world. Unfortunately, you are so patient and understanding, that everyone comes to you for everything, but puts you at the bottom of their to-do lists. As a result, you have too much to do and nothing ever gets done.


Oh, inspired by others...


I wish I wasn't single.


Chris

Granted. Krissie and Paul, I now pronounce you Man and Wife.

(that was easy! for she is very smale.

Granted. But your new husband turns out to be a bigamist with thirteen other wives scattered around the country, who steals all your savings and runs off to join the circus with wife no. 15.

I wish my birthday was in the summer, so I could celebrate it during a lovely warm, sunny day, and not a dank, dark, miserable rainy one. :p

LabRat

Granted! Your clone should arrive within 4-6 business days. Enjoy life as a double.

I wish I wasn't single.

Oops. That was fast.

Okay, let's see:

(Yes, Sileas, you got the genders right, and stole a future answer of mine, too... Oh well. :p )

Sileas: Granted! She somehow manages to stumble onto the boards, register herself, and start a new post. Unfortunately, it's baby gibberish which no one understands but which makes her look like a troll. Her IP (which is also yours) gets banned from the boards.

Rat: Granted! (And happy birthday!) Your birthday is now in July! Too bad you were suddenly forced to move to South Africa.

My current wish still stands.

Granted, but unfortunately, your new companion is a snake collector. One day you get a little too close to her glass cage that houses the 25 foot beauty from the Amazon; it breaks through the glass, wraps its coils around you and happily eats you for dinner. She cherishes it forever because you're now a part of it, and it reminds her of you.

I wish my books for next semester were really inexpensive and easy to find.

Granted. You have a lucky find in the secondhand book store and pick them all up, dirt cheap.

Unfortunately, it's only when you come to do the course that you realise they all have vital chapters missing in the middle.

I wish Stuart would hurry back with dinner.

LabRat (who is beginning to worry about how easily we all seem to find thinking up ways to be mean. )

Okay, I'm giving in to curiosity. Sileas, you said your baby sister is 'smale'. I've racked my brains - it's not in the dictionary, and if it's a typo, I can't make it into a word that makes any sense in context. I tried saying it with various accents (aren't you glad you're not in the room with me? ), but to no avail. Help?

Oh, and Labrat? Granted. You *do* like snails and caviar, don't you?

I wish I didn't get cold so easily.

Yvonne

Granted. You've moved to the hot, sticky, humid, sweltering tropics. Now you wish that you could get cold!


I wish I was a more organised person.

Chris

this is a "shame on me".

I have a theory I'd like to test some day---every family out there has their own language, written and spoken, and in its pure form, it would function about as well as encryption. totally understandable within the family, but complete gibberish to others. Sometimes there are multiple language sets within a single family.

"smale" is me using one of these made-up words that my younger sister and I ("baby"---actually, she's about to turn 35 [ gasp! ] and i'm about to be 37!) use just between each other. yes, it is supposed to be the word "small".

bad habit of mine. I pull out my poetic license at inappropriate times, and that was one of em.

back to wishes! yes, we seem to be unusually vindictive to each other, but at least Krissie and Paul are now married! and i'm not posting here anymore unless i'm up at 3 a.m. and wandering around (which I never am), because this morning when i posted one, in between me calling up the "post" window and hitting "add reply", two other people had jumped in! too fast for me. and I'm a pretty fast typist!

Hey, at least having that way to relief evilness online means we won't ever feel like doing something similar in the real word

Sileas - I can assure you that this theory at least works in my family. Especially on me - I had my unique vocabulary for... well, I don't know exactly, but it must have been about a year and a half... and my parents (especially my dad) use it when we're in a silly mood. If you add the words my two little brothers 'invented' later (which are not nearly as many as mine, but hey, not everyone is talented in linguistics at such a young age ), it's possible to make conversation in a language that would leave everyone else scratching their heads.

Actually, I've made the mistake of speaking this gibberish with my friends, a couple of times when I was in a silly mood. I was impressed to realize that what I meant wasn't blatantly obvious to them

So, back on topic:
Chris - you have become very organized. You start organize everything at home, and when you're done, you go over to your office and organize it. When you're done, you go over and organize your colleagues' offices as well. When you're over, you go over to organize your boss's office as well. Your boss isn't happy with you intruding and demanding that everything be categorized in alphabetical order, and sents you on unpaid leave until you work out that organizing obsession of yours.

I wish I could see into the future.

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

Granted! Unfortunately you over shoot. Every time you look to the future, you see the year 2764. It's a Tuesday.

I wish I was in better shape.