Lois & Clark Forums Forums General Discussion Lois & Clark Caption Competition 4

Thanks Gr8! I'd thought I'd start a new thread so here goes. New computer and I haven't figured out if I can make screen captions so went to find a pic and here is what I have!



Thanks to Christinae for this one!

Clark: What in the Sam Hill??

Lois: Great shades of Elvis!

(that's LnC for WTF?!)

__________________

*Don't pick me, I'm going to be away for the next couple of weeks.*

Lois: OMG I can't belive Cat wore that!

Clark: I can.

Ellen (off-screen): "Surprise! A trip to Hawaii sounded so nice that I decided to schedule one too. The hotel was nice enough to give me an adjoining room, so when you're not busy we can chat. We're all going to have a grand honeymoon."


Elisabeth
BTW, thanks for starting a new thread. We were long past due.

Clark creeps out the Daily Planet crowd with his Lois Lane ventriliquist dummy.

"I thought you were dead!" Lois exclaimed as her mouth fell open.

Sitting on the couch before them was a scantily clad Mayson Drake motioning Clark over with finger.

Clark stares off into the distance. "Oh, boy!"

"Doesn't she know when to give up?!?" Lois whines.

"Hey, I can't help it that I was born with good genes...Maybe if I quickly change into my Superman outfit, she'll leave us alone." Clark sighs.

All good, but I have to go with Elisabeth Ellen interrupting their Honeymoon? Just too funny!

Yeah!!!!! /me does the happy dance.

Special thanks to my technical assistant who took me by the hand and walked me through the process... just like he did last time.

So, I hope y'all enjoy this one.



Have fun.


Elisabeth

Lois: Jimmy I know your excited about getting an interview with Bozo the Clown but you are only going to scare him off with that face.

Lois, thinking to herself: Well, I got to hand it to Daddy, he really knows how to build robot replicants. He needs to work on the personality more, though...

OK, I stink at coming up with captions and this has nothing to do with Jimmy's expression (which frankly, really begs for a caption), but has anyone else noticed how similar their hairstyles are? A little less gel and hairspray on Lois and she, too, could have Jimmy's full-bodied, bouncy shine to her hair.

Sorry, don't mind me. Now back to your regularly scheduled captioning.
BJ

Jimmy: Heyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!

Lois: Jimmy, that was a really bad impression of the Fonz.

Jimmy: Isn't it great Lois, its called Botox. Your dad says ten years from now everyone will have it.

Jimmy: rrrrrr... How about now?
Lois: *sigh* No, Jimmy. Just because you were bit by a bat doesn't mean you'll turn into a vampire.
Jimmy: But it could have been a vampire bat!
Lois: It was a fruit bat!

Jimmy: "And then we went to Vegas... Lois, I'm married!"

(me points at the blurry image of a ring on Jimmy's right hand)

Lois sighs. "Jimmy, I'm happy for you really. Well sort of. You and Lucy should have told us that you were going to Vegas to get married. Cla... I mean Superman would have flown all of us. And I know you..." Deep breath. "...and my little sister were probably drunk, but really. What happens in Vegas doesn't *really* stay in Vegas. Besides, don't you know the ring goes on the other hand?!?"

Jimmy tugs ring off and puts it on other hand. "Um... Okay - I know you don't mean about getting married, because obviously we're married everywhere, but what *exactly* do you mean about 'what happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas'?"

Lois throws up her hands and walks off.

/me points to Lara's as her starting point but also mentions that she noticed the ring and wished it was on the other hand so she could say something about it.

Carol

Jimmy: "Yood Yoith! I god muh ton pirdnd"!

Translation: Look Lois! I got my tongue pierced!

TEEEEEEJ

I can't help myself. Before I declare a winner I'm going to throw in a caption for meself.

Jimmy: "Tez? Never heard of him, Lois. I'm just planning a little gentle neck massage."

Ahem.

Now, the honorable mentions go to shimauma and datchickukindaknow. Tongue piercing and botox, indeed. Together that makes for quite a makeover.

And the winner is...
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Superbrucie! Hit it, Cat.

ROTFL! I just love that quote. Thanks for the good laugh...I needed it.

*flies in, cape flapping in the wind, and bonks head on window frame* OW! I don't think that's what you meant by 'hit it'...

But me? Wee! *Searches* Ooooo giggle, no, that wouldn't be appropriate... Howabout this one?



It's thilly

Clark: Lois, you know that Mxyzptlk put us into a old comedy show! You should know better than to try and cook anything!


James

Clarkie: Ay! Carumba! Tempus made changes to the soul tracker. He has some 'splainin to do.

<bomb explodes>

Clark: Dirty mouth?

Lois: Clean it up! Chew Orbit gum!

Ha yeah I watch way too much tv.

rofl! James, that was pretty much what I was thinking.

I know I'm a nag, but it's been a week is this thread still going?

Elisabeth

I know it's not Ms. Ball, but...

CK/S:But I don't love Lucy, I love Lois.

*crash, bang*

Superman: Oh no! Where have I landed this time?

Lucy: Superman! What are you doing here?

Superman: I lost control of my powers, and... What happened to all the colors? Am I going blind?

Lucy: Colors? What colors? Well, never mind about that. Who are you? You don't look like the Superman I know ...

Superman: Huh? *turns around, confused* Oh no! Look what I've done to your wall!

Lucy: The wall? Oh! Ricky's gonna flip out when he sees that! And he's due home in less than an hour!

Superman: I'm so sorry! I... uhm... I'll...

Lucy: Don't worry about it. I've got a plan.

Superman: Why does that worry me even more?

Lucy: Everything will be fine, really! Ethel knows a guy. We'll fix it up real quick. Ricky will never notice that there's a door where the window used to be!

Superman: Uhm... well... if you're sure...

Lucy: Of course I'm sure! Trust me! What could possibly go wrong? But I've got to get going! I'm going to need to get those guys over here!

Superman: But... wait! Where am I?

Lucy: Let me see... You say you lost control of your powers. And you're missing all the color... Supey, I think I can 'splain. You're on the wrong show. This is Nick at Nite. I figure you landed about three channels over.

Superman: Ay caramba!

I thought of the exact same thing, Paul.

Superman: Oh no! The thread's been abandoned!

Lois: Brucieeeee!

_____________

But seriously, if Cat doesn't choose a winner in the next day or so I think someone just needs to post a new pic.

Any takers?

In the girl scouts they have an old tradition: whoever goes to the ladies room volunteers to head up the cookie campaign. Is that the kind of volunteer we're looking for?

Elisabeth

Ok, in the interests of getting this thread going again, I'm heading up the cookie campaign.



What have you got?

Ching:...one last thing, Kal El, according to Kryptonian tradition you have to pass through the gauntlet of slobbering, grabby fangurls to take your place in Kryptonian government.

Clark: Dude, no way!

Ching: 'Fraid so.

Clark: Who comes up with these goofy traditions?

Ching: I've been taught that a favorite concubine named Teej had something to do with it.

More like CG!

Clark: It's not that I feel stuck in the rat race, but it is disheartening that the cubicles are made of cheese.

~*~

Ching: You know if the writers strike again you may be stuck on New Krypton forever.

Kal-El: I'm feeling blue enough as it is; don't kick a man while he's down.

Ching: Black suit, black Ray-Bans, Clark. That’s the dress code.

Clark: Yeah, but I make this look gooooood!

Ching: Lose the ‘S’.

Clark: Say, do I get a fancy car and some tiny, high-powered handgun?

Ching: No, but you can have a rod with a blob on each end. It kinda works the same.

Clark: Cool. What about the flashy light thing? Can I have one of those?

Ching: It’s called a Neuraliser, and, no.

Clark: What! Why?

Ching: It’s not standard issue.

Clark: How am I supposed to be the first, last and only line of defence against the worst scum of the universe if I can’t have a Neuraliser?

Ching: I’m sure you’ll manage fine without one.

Clark: Aww, come on!

Ching: I said NO!

Clark: Pleeeeeeeeease?

Ching: Hey look, an elephant!

Clark: Where?!

FLASH!

Ching: Just lose the ‘S’.

___________________

4th of July weekend does belong to Will Smith after all.

lol, gr8shades. Nice one! So that's how he kept his secret identity after everything that happened in Smallville!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ching: Next, to prove your worthiness to rule, you must face a physical test...

Clark: I thought you tested me back on Earth.

Ching: That was for my satisfaction, to prove that you were capable before we let the others know you were alive. Now, you must prove it in a formal test, in front of everyone.

Clark: I see. And what does this test entail?

Ching: The council members will launch a series of orbs in your direction. You must prove your agility and combat strategy. Do not let a single orb touch you. Not unless you're sure you can catch it. Doing so is difficult, but if you can manage...

Clark: Wait a sec. You're telling me that to prove my royal ability, I have to play dodgeball?!

Ching: Ok, Lord Kal-El,let's take this from the top again...

Clark: Sorry, Ching, but it is difficult to keep straight all the new changes.

Ching: Yes, I know, but it must be done.

Clark nodded: Yes, I understand. So, let's see if I remember correctly. Black is really White and Blue is really Green...

Ching sighs: No, no, no...Blue is Yellow, Green is Magenta and Red is Cyan...

"Clark, I have news..."

"Yes, Ching?"

"It seems there was a clerical error. You're not engaged to Lady Zara, after all..."

"That's great! Then I can go and..."

"... You're engaged to me."

"Oh."

Ching: By the way, Kal...love the "S"...purrrrr <wink>



TEEEEEEEJ

LOL!

Well done everyone. They were all good

Oh, who to choose... James why don't you have the next go.

Been waiting to use this one for a looonnggg time...



Enjoy.

Lois: I was right, Chief! Clark's butt really is cute from every angle!

Lois: When all the blood gets stuck in my head I get giddy.

Perry: I know. It's an old interviewing trick I learned back in the war.

Artist (OS): "And now, ladies and gentlemen, I will present to you my latest work! To commemorate the triumph of our city's heroes, I have created a chess board, with each piece being a key figure in the struggle. Each one is a painstakingly hand-carved life-size statue. The king is, of course, Superman, and..."

Jimmy (OS): "Hey! I'm only a pawn?!"

Voice from the crowd (OS): "Where's Clark Kent?"

Perry: "Uhm... excuse me? ... Uh... help?? ... I ... uh... seem to have broken the white queen..."

Lois (OS, under her breath): Thank you, Perry! I can't believe he carved my face looking like that!

Perry: They're real and they're *spectacular*!

Lois: <giggles>


Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Perry's version of the Heimlech maneuver tickles.

Paul wins. Loved the creativity.

James

Thanks!

Okay, new pic...



(And for the record, that's a microphone in his hand.)

Announcer: And for our next four contestants of 'I survived a Japanese Game Show'. Our next contest is a subtle one. We have feed these four baked beans, raw cabbage, broccoli and cauliflower and tied them up in this room. That was a half an hour ago. Things are pretty ripe here.

Ellen: Well, at least I don't sound like a whoopy cushion when I...you know.

Jonathan: Hey! At least I don't giggle each time!

Sam: That is only her nervous defense mechanism. Besides, in Japan, flatuence is not a social taboo.

Martha: True enough, and besides, being a farmer's wife, I've smelled and smelt a whole lot worse!

Announcer: So, as you can see, the attitudes are varied. Now, we will bring in the final component. Once this is in place, the contestants will have 30 seconds to escape before things get really bad. Bring in the skunks!...

What happens when good people sing bad karaoke.

Voiceover: Wedding plans leaving you tied up? Hire EZ-Day Wedding Planners and exerperience freedom again.

All: Ahhhhhhh!

Martha: EZ-Day really worked for us.

Ellen: This is the last time we let Martha plan a weekend group getaway....

Martha: Sam was the one who suggested San Francisco!

Cute, Shimauma. At least someone understands the gravity of the situation.


Elisabeth

Think I'm going to have to go with Shimuama on this one. Nice one, TEEEJ! You're up!

YAY! I had no idea.... Let me find a pic and post it...
If it doesn't show, let me know...

Clark: What’s wrong with flannel shirts?!

Lois: :rolleyes:

Clark: We've been here for three days and only one response to insult my shirts? You're wearing men's clothing and a dumb-ass name tag. How is this picture not captionable?

Lois: Who cares. My butt hurts, I say we just go.

How about a nod to Carol's story?

Clark: What are you thinking? When we prearranged our signal of wearing my shirt to show that you're ready to move forward with our relationship you weren't supposed to show up at my latest meeting of Meditation for Manly Men. Now get the om out of here!

I like Elisabeth's meditation for Manly Men idea. Lois would be the type of person to butt in.

You're up Elisabeth!

Elisabeth, can we trouble you for a picture?

Elisabeth hasn't had reliable internet access (thanks CA ) since last Wednesday.

As soon as I find the picture she wants me to post i'll put it up.


Here is the pic that Elisabeth wants to use.




James

Clark, to himself: I hate it when Lois gets tipsy. She always ends up trying to find a vulnerable spot on me...

James

Lois: I know just the cure for that headache Clarkie. By putting my finger on this spot of you throat your headache should just disappear.

LOL! I totally missed this! Too funny!!! I'm sure it's not quite what either of them had in mind...

Carol

*poke* Huh. Zara wasn't kidding. Kryptonians really do have an off switch!

-----

Lois: Tickle, tickle! Who's a good superhero? Yes you are! Yes you are!

Clark: Purrrrr...

Lois: *sigh* At least he's housebroken.

Lois: Here, Champagne! It'll make you feel better, at least that's what my mother allways says...

Clark: Lois do I have to??

Lois: Oh great, we're not even married and I allready starting act like my mother!

Clark: O oh

Xx Lizz

Lois: Jeez, Clark, don’t you think you could have mentioned that when Dr Klein asked you to pee in a cup you decided to use a wine glass?!

(all together now, eeewwww!)

After a bottle of wine, Lois' babbling starts to take on the properties of Kryptonite...

I had 32-1/2 seconds so I thought I had better dash online and hand the baton off to the next Folc. Hatman wins it for his Kryptonian off switch.


Elisabeth
PS I'm glad you liked it, Carol.

Me? Yay, thanks!

Okay... new pic, then. Hmm... tough to choose... Well, you think I'd have learned by now, but what can you do? Your choice of two. Caption either, both, or both together. Whatever works.





Click for larger versions, if you need.

Thanks to Follow Tomorrow for the pics!

(For the record, that's red leather in the first picture, and those are handcuffs in the second.)

Pic 1:

Lois: Hello, Martha? I need a little cooking advice...

_______________

Pic 2:

Lois: When I suggested we try handcuffs and a blindfold, Clark, you fake-rescuing me was not what I had in mind.

Pic 1.

Lois: Times are really tough, Dad. Anything you send would be appreciated...


Pic 2.
Lois: Clark! This is NOT how you prepare someone for a game of piñata!

Lois: (on the phone with cooking assistance line) And then you dip a loud tie in? (thinking: well, we've got plenty of those.

Later on:
Clark: I told you not to try new recipes with the guests.

Lois: Well, how was I to know the Union of the United Untied would find that little addition *that* offensive?

Pic 1: "I caught it myself from one of Clark's traps this morning, but... I don't know, Martha! No matter what I do my crab ends up tasting like rubber."

Does anyone else want to play? Paul, fancy picking a winner?

Oh, sorry! Forgot it was my turn to pick!

Uhm... Okay, Woody and the Union of United Unties wins. Dyslexics of the world, untie!

Or, you know, if anyone else has a pic to post, go right ahead!

Okay since I don't have time to figure out a photo hosting website again, just make a caption for any of the screencaps from http://www.loisandclarkarchive.com/FirstSeason/Pilot/LCPilot1219.jpg to http://www.loisandclarkarchive.com/FirstSeason/Pilot/LCPilot1225.jpg

You know the original line by heart, but what else could she be saying?

And I'm leaving in a couple of days and won't have access so I'll let Paul judge the winner, if he'd be so kind, and if *he* posts the most amazing caption, I charge the rest of you with voting him in. C'mon, it's an election year.

Lois: Ooh! He's hiding that under those awful suits? Yummy!

"Umm...err, hi...Clark. Business casual is not this...relaxed." She thinks to herself, 'But it would be nice if it was!'

Clark: They're real and they are spectacular! (again )

Hi, Clark. I was... uhm... just wondering if I... uhm... couldborrowyourtowel*yoink* Thanks!

----

Uhm... you know, Clark, when you invited me over for beefcake, I thought you meant you'd be making meatloaf... But this is much yummier! Uhm... I mean... how could you?! How could... uhm... excuse me...

----

Oh... hi, Clark... I just dropped by because I wanted to take a pec at your piece... the article, that is... that you were doing for the biceptennial of the abs... abs... Uhm, I think I need to lie down for a while. Can I use your bed?

----

Hey, Lois, what do you think of my suit? I got it to wear to this ball I was going to with a Nigerian princess. She set me up with the emperor's own tailor...

---

Superman! What are you doing in Clark's apartment? Oh, never mind. I can see, you're taking a shower. I guess I never really thought about where you live or what you do when you're not flying around rescuing people. It's nice of Clark to let you use his place like this. Have you seen him? Not that I'm trying to get rid of you or anything! Of course not that! I was just wondering... But never mind. So, wow. The suit does come off. Not that I'm staring. I just came here to see Clark and I'm surprised not to see him and to see you here instead and... Ooo, nice S! Uhm, that is, I'm happy to see you. Not *see* you, because I can see a lot more of you than usual, but of course... Uhm, why are you looking at me like that?

I've got to jump in here before I leave tomorrow and name Paul the winner. Borrow your towel, biceptennial of the abs, and Lois' babbling. All of 'em excellent.

My caption:

Lois: So you're him! I never would have guessed...

Clark: Him who?

Lois: The guy who runs around in public showing off his body.

Clark (freaking out): Whowhowho...Who's that?

Lois: C'mon, Clark, I know you've seen him on the news.

Clark: Superman?

Lois: Him? No! The Streak.

Yay! Glad you liked, Woody.

So, new pic... Okay... Let's try this one:



(Thanks again to followtomorrow.net!)

Martha: Wait! I thought you were only supposed to be disintegrating Clark!

Kryptonian(OS): Oops, sorry. All you earthlings look the same to me.

Martha: That's right honey, open you mouth like this. Let the nice dentist Dr. Krypton examine your teeth.

Clark (OS): No Moooooooom... he's gonna pull all my teeth out and I'll have to be content with Kryptonian dentures

Jonathan: Well son that's what you get for swallowing all those bombs and chemicals: rotten teeth

Hmm. This pic doesn't seem to have been too inspiring. Oh well.

Doesn't feel right picking a winner with just two entries, so I'll just leave it open. Whoever finds a decent pic first, go for it!

How about this pic...

Lois: Really, it is the latest style. Soon, everyone will be putting ordinary objects next to their right ears. You should try it.

James

Clark: Lois, I just can't get any signal with this new cell phone. Can you?

Lois: Clark.... :rolleyes:

OK, I know I can't technically "win" this round because it's my picture, but my BF just convinced me I needed to add this caption...



Caption: Thinking fast, Lois attempts to cover for Clark... who hears a Who.

Nunk: So, Lois, I hear your opponent has agreed to settle out of court if you'll resolve the dispute by mud wrestling with her on the Jerry Springer show. Will you accept the challenge? Or are you, as Toni Taylor claims, just a giant chicken?

Note on the back of Lois's briefcase (seen via x-ray vision): Fly me out of here. Now. Before I kill him.

Clark: Uhm, excuse me. My... uhm... coffee is... uhm... *glances at Lois*... ticking. Bye!

Bumping for new picture postage if anyone's interested.

It's a wonderful display, Nunc--really lights up the sky just as if it were day. The only thing is, don't look directly at the Baby Jesus.


Elisabeth
who is also a fan of Home Improvement