Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Fanfic Related Badfic fake Southern Idioms

Elisabeth wasn't sure if this should go here or not.

Perry is always protrayed as a Good Ole Boy from the South with those corny Southern expressions.

So here is a list of made-up 'Southern' expressions that would make any true Southerner cringe.

1. He's as relaxed as a opossum on codeine.

2. He's as pumped as a squirrel chewing caffeinated nuts.

3. He couldn't be happier if he were a puppy with two tails.

4. He jumped up like a piston on a spark plug.

5. He was as excited as a boy scout chugging his first swig of Jack Daniels.

6.He couldn't been happier if I gave him a 12 pack of cold ones and a John Deere.

Yep, I am from the deep south and I hate all of them, especially the one about the boy scout.

Southern expressions can only be developed over generations of use.

As someone who was born two blocks from the White House of the Confederacy I hate all of those as well. I also go nuts when someone says you all. It is y'all thank you very much. I now live in Maryland but I'm still a couple of blocks south of the Mason-Dixon line.

Bless your heart! Love it.

I am from middle MO, and as some of you can attest to, I do say y'all and Howdy.

Another example of a perfect Southern expression.

I have to agree, all of those quotes James posted are horrible. There are some Southern expressions and nuances that make the English major in me cringe, but for the most part, I don't see anything wrong with most Southern speech. Nor do I see anything wrong with "y'all" - it is a contraction with just as much validity as "can't" "won't" "isn't" and so on and so forth.

Southerners don't say "opossum." Southerners say "possum." The first "o" in the word is silent, like the "p" in swimming.

And that's a Southernism too.

I lived in South Carolina for several years and it was a deep bed of southern life. I think for my ear the southern language has softer sounds and although there are some horrible sounding phrases, when spoken by some it is beautiful to listen to.

My only beef is anything that involves "fixin' to."

JD

That's not southern, the is poor grammar and it is universal at least from the folks I have heard it from.

Oh, man, you've heard it from others? *runs and hides* Well it's hugely popular in the southern sticks where I grew up, and I just thank God I've yet to hear it in southern Texas or east Georgia LOL. It's just weird!

JD

Sorry to burst your bubble, JD, but...

I'm Texas born and raised (Houston, to be exact), and "fixin' to" is a phrase I heard regularly while growing up...

Sadly I heard it often when we lived outside of Atlanta.

I grew up north of the Mason-Dixon line, but moved down to North Carolina 16 years ago. I love Southernisms. James, that list reminded me of some of the more unhinged Dan Rather lines.

"Y'all" is an exceptionally useful word. Perfect for speaking to doctor's offices and store clerks. I picked that one up almost immediately.

These last two years, I've started working in a blue collar industry (I do accounting; the company makes concrete), and most of the people there are born & bred in NC, so I get to hear this sort of thing a lot.

I started saying "right quick" a few years back -- my husband laughs at me, but it's the same thing as saying "real quick." My latest acquisition is "might could" -- short for "that's something that I would be able to do and I'll probably do it, but I don't want to commit in case I change my mind."

And now, y'all, it's my bedtime, so I might could wrap this up right quick

Or maybe I'll add... I've found some "kinder and gentler" alternatives that I've switched to. My favorite is "fuss." Instead of telling my kids their Dad's gonna yell at them, I tell them he'll fuss at them. Then there's "stuff happens" or "dang." I also use "frell" but that's from Farscape

Lately I've heard people use "sweet!" -- is that a regional thing, or more widespread?

PJ

I do declare! That thar list was from my beloved and I had nuthin' to do wit it...

James

Yeah, yeah, we ain't buyin' it.

PJ

James you amost sounded like a southern belle. Night sugah!

This is a perfect example of why two grown people can't have a legitimate conversation with three little ones underfoot. James thought I had asked him to post it this way since I've been online so infrequently lately (school year--here I come!) but I had told him that I was planning on posting it myself someday when I got around to it.

This is what I had originally planned to post:

In the original series Perry White oftentimes uttered made-up Southern phrases that were intended to provide character but sometimes sounded a little off. When I write Perry, I try to make sure he turns a colorful phrase without rehashing the same old stuff.

Yesterday I tried a new tactic. I figured I could write much worse than the original writers. So I spent five minutes spinning out the worst fake Southern idioms I could come up with. I wanted to challenge y'all to try your own hand at badfic. Surely somebody writes worse than I do (although I must confess that it takes real talent to intensionally write poorly).


Elisabeth
PS I thought the "o" was always silent in opossum. That's why it's "a opossum" and not "an opossum."

I've heard Jimmy Olsen say that, so it's probably not regional.


Elisabeth

Definitely not regional, I say it here. It's my good friend Nick's favourite catch phrase.