Wow. You weren't kidding about liking to torture Clark.
When he took off in the last part, I thought he had bolted into the sky. I hadn't realized that he had been slow enough for her to reach out and grab him, chancing for others to see this ordinary man move into the sky.
“I’m Clark,” he repeated--a vow, a prayer, an impossible dream.
“No, you’re not!” Lois snapped, loosing an arm from his neck to wave toward the far-away ground. “You’re not Clark! And you’re not Superman. You’re…you’re a liar. I don’t know you at all. You’re just like the rest.”
Ouch. Does she think that she's incapable of causing him pain just because he happens to be invulnerable?
“Right,” he said derisively, striking out because there was nothing else for him to do, no hopeful goal, no beautiful dream of a future spent with her to keep his hurt and anger and despair from spilling out on the ground all around them. “Because *you’ve* never ran from anything in your life.”
Good point.
“Why are you mad at me?” she cried, releasing her grip on him and stepping back.
Um... because she chose the fantasy over the ordinary man? Because she was going to accept Lex's offer over Clark's, even though she "loved" Superman? Because out of the two options she had remaining after Superman's rejection, she chose to be with wealthy man she wasn't sure she loved, instead of poor man whom she knew loved her? Because she wouldn't believe Clark or trust him until she had witnessed Lex's villainy with her own eyes, even after all the times she had asked him to trust her on faith? Because she had hurt him? Sounds like he had plenty of reasons to be mad at Lois.
“I mean,” she looked away before tilting her chin defiantly and staring him straight in the eye, “I know why you’re mad about Lex. But *you’re* the one who lied to me! Why are *you* mad at me for believing the lies you told me?”
Um... because out of all the people in the world, she was the only one he wanted see through the disguise to see the real him underneath and love him anyway, and she hadn't?
“I’m not mad you believed I was two people. I’m not mad at all. I’m just…”
Hurt. And sad. And disappointed. And so terribly exhausted. And wholly, utterly destroyed. Because he knew she couldn’t have known Clark and Superman were the same man, but why couldn’t she have loved Clark as much as she idolized Superman? Why couldn’t she have given Clark the same chance she’d given Luthor--was seemingly *continuing* to give to Luthor? Why had she so easily been able to dismiss the real parts of him when he couldn’t, for the life of him, tear himself away from her?
Exactly!
“Yes, I’ve been to *Superman* rescues,” she said, and her frigid tone made Clark imagine the cold night air was actually affecting him, pebbling his flesh and sliding icy drops down his spine. “But that was when I thought Superman was a selfless man who had chosen to devote his *whole* life to helping others. Now…”
Wait a second, there, Lois. You're accusing Clark of not being the hero she thought he should be or was and trying to make him feel guilty about wanting a real life outside of being a hero. Yet, weren't you the one who only the night before asked the hero to *love* you and to have a relationship with you? Therefore, giving up part of his WHOLE life of rescuing others to be with you? You can't accuse him of being selfish for wanting a real life outside of rescuing people, when you selfishly asked him to do the same for you! Well, you can and you did, but you shouldn't!
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/boese/a045.gif)
Nothing save debilitating guilt and agonizing fear and familiar despair over the fragility of everyone around him and his own inability to ever, ever be *enough*.
And then…so quietly he would have feared he imagined it save he could intimately hear the respiratory system starting back up, could hear blood beginning to move so sluggishly through the tiny heart, the boy breathed, moved, tried to open fluttering eyes.
For an instant, Clark felt his every muscle turn as liquid as the waves around him…but he was still Superman, and so he straightened, and he shifted his shoulders to better settle the burden atop them and he hid all his pain and fear and overwhelming relief and he surveyed the orderly pandemonium filling this patch of ocean.
Oh, poor Clark. What a horrible thing to have to deal with. I'm glad that the boy survived, because then Clark wouldn't have to second guess whether or not he would've been able to save the boy faster had Lois not insisted on coming with him and slowed him down. I hope SHE considers her impact on that boy's life though, but for some reason I doubt she will.
I'm hanging on the edge of my seat, hoping all will turn out all right for Clark. At the moment, now, though, I'm furious at Lois for treating Clark so dismally and ordering him about because she can. Please tell me that she gets some kind of comeuppance for this behavior. He shouldn't have to shoulder all the burden of fault on his own.
