ROFL! There are Mary Sues, and there are stories like this one. Absolutely hilarious. And I can see poor Clark being so confused. And the inanimate objects talking! Now, I just have one question.... Need a roommate? 
"You need me. You wouldn't be much of a hero without a villain. And you do love being the hero, don't you. The cheering children, the swooning women, you love it so much, it's made you my most reliable accomplice." -- Lex Luthor to Superman, Question Authority, Justice League Unlimited
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