The thought that popped into my mind was that Lois was reporting to the Big Giant Head from the TV show
3rd Rock from the Sun. I envisioned the disembodied head to be that of William Shatner. Maybe you could - go back to - the story - and insert - several -
pauses - and -
special emphasis in the dialogue - to bring out the Big Giant Head's - character.
Go here - to see the Big Giant Head - in -
action! Hot diggity!
Over all, I thought it was an interesting and original take on the relationship. But, like Bob, I'm a little concerned about the duplicity. If Clark's refusal to reveal his hidden life to Lois before he proposed was a bad thing, how can Lois' refusal to reveal her hidden life to Clark after their marriage be a good thing? I understand that she has transferred her allegiance and priority to Clark and their life together (or she would have taken advantage of that interstellar taxi), but she's still lying to him. Maybe you could write a coda to this story where she does a tearful reveal to him and he tells her that he knows already - or, that it's a total shock to him but he loves her for who she is so it doesn't matter.
As you've left things, it feels kinda creepy to me. I'd hate to think that the Lois who busted Clark so badly for not telling her about Superman is just an intergalactic con artist.
Perhaps we might hear from some who have battered and bashed Clark for hiding his identity for so long? What do you FOLCs think about this alternate take?
All in all, I enjoyed the story, Tank. You still have the inventive mind that helped draw me into this community. Thank you for this tale.
