The narrator here, whose name we only know as TMWKTtRS - that's a mouthful, byt the way - started out his career as a burglar like this:
First floor. Old lady with a cat. Not much to take, but easy pickings. I got a nice surprise, though, when I found a diamond necklace in one of her drawers.
An old lady! With a cat! I don't like this guy, let me tell you! Somebody needs to teach him a lesson!
I turned around, getting ready to either fight or run for my life. My stomach tried to pull my intestines into my esophagus when I saw who was standing there, arms folded, dressed in the most brightly colored spandex I'd ever seen east of LA.
The most brightly colored spandex this guy had ever seen east of LA!!!
Okay, let me tell you, that's what you get for breaking into Clark Kent's apartment!
Well, after two years in the slammer, Mr TMWKTtRS cacomes back to try to rob Clark Kent's apartment again. But, oh, uh...
My hair stood on end when I heard some giggling come from the bedroom. Nobody was home! I swear!
There was another giggle and then a low moan, and my heart started beating again when it became clear that they just might be distracted enough for me to get away.
Not only is he going to try to steal Clark Kent's things again, he is also interrupting his 'host' at a
very private moment! I'll say!
The moaning suddenly stopped. There was no hiding the noise, so I went ahead and swore as I struggled up to my knees. I was still on all fours when I saw those stupid red boots stop right by my face.
But Superman is a fast dresser! He goes from wearing nothing to wearing boots, and presumably a cape, spandex suit, and little red shorts outside spandex suit, in probably less than ten seconds!
Well, after a much longer session in the slammer, Mr TMWKTtRS decided to visit Clark Kent's place of residence again, or maybe he accidentally stumbled on it in his quest for loot:
The hairs on the back of my neck started tingling. I turned around. Sure enough, there he was, arms folded, wearing just his boxers and a t-shirt.
And Superman and Mr TMWKTtRS are really getting familiar, almost intimate, with each other! Last time Mr TMWKTtRS caught Superman making love, and this time, after Mr TMWKTtRS had stepped on a stuffed rabbit belonging to the fruit of one of Superman's lovemaking sessions, Superman now doesn't even bother to get dressed as he stops his well-known burglar, but prefers to take care of him wearing only boxers and a t-shirt. (You know, I'm glad he wore boxers for this occasion, and not briefs!)
And Mr TMWKTtRS is back in the slammer. He may as well tell his nephew to walk down the narrow path in life. After all, Mr TMWKTtRS is not all that likely to make a fortune out of his attempts to rob Superman, and to turn himself into the celebrity who is not just Mr TMWKTtRS, but rather "The Man Who Kept Trying to Rob Superman"! Ta-daaahhh! (At least Mr TMWKTtRS knows where Superman lives, and there might be some money in that!)
So funny, Mary!
Ann
