Sorry I don't have time for proper feedback just now, but just wanted to jump in and say how much I enjoyed the start of this story. And the line:

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...the belief that the media was not only beating that dead horse, they were doing things to the corpse that were surely illegal in at least forty-seven states.
Had me laughing out loud. Definitely reminds me of some of the coverage being given to recent celebrity news of the past couple of months.

-Em

"But my experience is that as soon as people are old enough to know better, they don't know anything at all."

-Oscar Wilde, "Lady Windermere's Fan"