Great story, Pam; I've said a lot about this story, one way and another, but reading it again on the Boards inspires another burst of enthusiasm. If you've heard it before, you'll just have to take it again. :p
Condensed List of ChiefPam's Lois&Clark and Literary Virtues
6. You always make a better story in your rewrites of episodes.
42. You make a Waff Waffier by means of an Aplot-a real achievement.
271. You have great insights and deliver them with a subtle force, like a touché not immediately felt, but lethal all the same.
Others have mentioned some of these, but here again are some of great insights:
When Lois was scared, she was quite capable of believing all sorts of things without regard for such mundane matters as evidence.
She'd certainly grabbed his attention when she'd asked if he hadn't liked the kiss. It wasn't just the question, but also the way she'd managed to combine sensual smugness with an unholy amusement.
Lois blinked. It had been strange, talking to Clark, knowing he was Superman. Talking to Superman, knowing he was Clark, was positively surreal.
The newsroom was fairly deserted, with no one paying attention, so it didn't take long to type up his report of the night's excitement. It seemed a little on the dull side, but he fixed that by giving himself an exclusive Superman quote.
You can turn a phrase:
And then everything fell into place, and out of all recognition.
"Oh, right. Um, hi, Superman. Can we go now?"
You make repetition a delight that illumines.
(Clark)…work himself into a nervous wreck./ Lois was a nervous wreck
Clark "I'm only back-up, remember?"/Lois "You're darned right. Now get back out there!" She pushed him back out...
Your revelation came like raindrops in a pool.
A single large crystalline drop comes before the shower:
There was something different, though, something about his eyes... oh, of course; the last time he'd looked at her like that, he hadn't been wearing his glasses. Really, it was surprising how much the lack of them changed the look of his face. His hair had been tumbled forward, and he'd looked so serious, so intent... she sighed happily. She hadn't ever believed she could find someone who'd look at her like that, as if she were the most precious thing in the world.
How exquisite that Lois sees that he loves her before she sees what that face without glasses means!
Tiny drops come quickly until the drops become a wave Pam and her Lois ride it to land.
It had been hard for her to choose between Clark and Superman, but she had done so, and she was happy with her choice. She didn't need wild fantasies about Clark leading some sort of double life... though she knew he was hiding some kind of big secret...
Feeling shaky, she looked up at Clark. He was looking steadily toward the pile of crates between them and Toni. With his glasses halfway down his nose. What sort of person sees better without glasses?
After the best dream opening, you have the best awake ending:
Then rational thought slipped away, as Lois surrendered to the pleasure of being cherished.
thanks for a great story,
claire
