Hi Micheal!
Thanks for taking the time on this one! I know the longer ones always mean that you put a lot of time in!
The year after that had been closer to normal, replete with white snow from the blizzard that hit that year, but it seemed like her parents had left all the warmth of the season back in Hawaii. As Jack Frost nipped at their ice-covered windows, Ellen and Sam sniped at each other inside.
That entire paragraph
Thank you! I was inordinately proud of Jack/nipped Ellen-and-Sam/sniped when I came up with that.
The newsroom had provided her three years of peaceful, gentle drudgery.
Then Ralph was hired.
What a curveball
I feel like Ralph always being the worst part of these little rants is like that final straw that breaks the camel's back.
Her silent nights were unwillingly traded for holiday-themed, thinly-veiled innuendo.
Okay, I need to jot down “spitfire spunk in the stories” for the next GTA.
I like to think of it as moxy.
But honestly, this was just my trying to work in the phrase 'Silent Night.' Both a holiday song and a Christmas wish, in this case.
“No, no, no,” said another voice down the hall. “You’re supposed to say, ‘You’re on the naughty list this year, Lois.’”
Griffin. You pulled a Chekov’s Gun.
You betcha! I usually like to have the 'gun,' so to speak, sit out for a longer part of the story, but oh, well. Nice catch on identifying this earlier!
“So Victor and I hitched a ride on Santa’s sleigh, borrowed a suit, and decided to come wish YOU a merry little Christmas.” He stopped near her tiny tree, leaning toward her and affecting a wide grin. “Merry Christmas, Lois.”
Just promise you will never do Lex
It's nearly half written. Get ready. It's... significantly worse than this.
“I SAID, ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS,’ LOIS,” he suddenly shouted, sweeping his arm violently into her scrappy little tree and knocking it to the floor.
Eeep! You really capture his unstable psychotic behavior marvelously!
I really appreciate that! This character was probably the most fun to write that I've had so far. I loved this actor on the show - he just chews scenery in such a silly way.
He’d definitely gotten more unhinged after this latest jail stint, brief as it was.
I told you, they should never have hired criminal psychiatrists Dr. Harleen Quinzel and Dr. Hugo Strange, no matter how recommended they came from Arkham Asylum.
Didn't Dr. Deter actually do a rotation with Dr. Quinzel during that little exchange program?
She wasn’t as delighted as he was to be back.
I really shouldn’t quote every sentence.
You won't ever hear me complaining about this!
I work hard on every sentence, so I'll take the commentary happily. Honestly, I probably review every sentence like... 8-9 times once it's in final draft form. So I appreciate knowing which ones hit.
The Metro Processing Plant looked like it was still under construction from the havoc he’d wreaked earlier that fall.
Metropolis criminals – we tear it down faster than you can rebuild!
This should be their union motto!
But Griffin had decided to add a ludicrous insult to his hijacking of her vacation.
Did he have her dress up in the Tahiti bikini? He certainly was Lois’s most inappropriate suitor. Sure, Spencer Spencer suggested he make her an employee responsible for his personal satisfaction and Clark got her to be his concubine and Lex suggested companionship for survival, but Griffin always was the most lurid and inappropriate of them all. Might not even be possible to do this thing today without getting canceled.
You know, I went back and forth with this. It's definitely a riff on the episode where Griffin strips her down to her lingerie and puts her dress on Jimmy. So when I first wrote it, it just felt like a page out of the "How-to-be-the-Prankster" manual that the show writers left us. You'll notice I glossed over her changing into it, as well as other beats where there could have been more traumatizing sexual misconduct (which definitely feels on the table for Griffin and Victor, in spite of the PG-13 vibe from the network). I pushed it to be emotional torture/humiliation instead - plus, I couldn't resist the irony of her vacation apparel being used against her (salt in the wound). And then I needed the lights to burn, but they wouldn't do it through a sweater, and well, soon the bikini became too useful to pass up. Would you have looked for another solution here, for a 2023 story? Whenever I write L&C it's always stuck on this weird bridge between today and 1993, and I don't think it's necessarily the best version of either. But I can't set it in '93 and ignore the prevailing attitudes of the decade either, you know? LOL - suffice to say, I agree, and I deeply overthought the bikini change.
“Otherwise,” Griffin led him along, “…she’ll get away.”
clap you are doing marvelous Griffin. Yes, next time, I’ll look for the story with the most psychotic villain during the GTA.
Thhaaaaank you! I'm so glad this read.
And next year, y'all are getting a little 5-page cozy Christmas story, lol.
She could see his point and it irritated her. Writing up something so mundane as her own kidnapping wasn’t going to nab her a promotion or a Kerth
Kerth committee: Let’s see. Lane, Daily Planet, another story about her getting kidnapped by an international arms dealer. Next!
This always kills me because... what are the OTHER stories she's in competition with? They definitely aren't the inside scoop on tsunamis and nuclear devices and presidential cloning and the SPACE SHUTTLE LAUNCH BY A FLYING MAN. And she's getting ALL the Superman exclusives, too. I know Clark wins for the senior citizens' home piece, but every time it's suggested there is a more impactful story out there than what we see Lois investigate, foil, and write, it deeply strains my ability to suspend my disbelief.
Convincing,” Griffin commented wryly. “But at least that explains why you’re not married and bouncing a kid on your knee in the suburbs by now, instead of chasing me.”
He does realize that she’s twenty-seven, doesn’t he?
Don't forget that geriatric pregnancies start at 34. 27 is breaching spinster material here. Those career girls really affected the national average for marriage/pregnancy ages! (Huzzah for choices!)
Everyone was always telling her that she had a big mouth. She used it.
She spat directly into his face.
Glad you commented on this, actually. This was an upgrade after you mentioned you wanted her to behave worse in one of my other stories. Here you go!
Besides that, there were a number of the little bulbs that had been trapped against her skin when Victor had tied her up. The lights had been on for nearly a half hour now and she could feel that they were getting really hot.
See? Which brings up, why did none break when she plopped back down on the bench, forcing her to sit on shards of Christmas lights?
Sigh... I got out of mentioning this in other comments, but the truth is that I tried this. Once I tied had her tied up, I needed a better idea of the mechanics, so I had help on hand, but... yeah... The answer to your question is that they didn't break in the story because they didn't break irl when I sat down hard on them on a hard chair. Once I was getting research, it didn't even occur to me to be more imaginative about it. But that might have been better - higher odds against her/more to overcome if she's bleeding.
A cold, empty warehouse on her least favorite holiday, insultingly tied up and effectively strapped to a bomb.
I did mention quoting too much before, didn’t I?
Nope... I didn't hear it!
How long would it take for them to notice she was missing?
I do wonder, do US electrical regulations prescribe a ground fault interrupt, because she could fairly safely cause a short circuit, even electrocute herself a bit without really risking her life. Especially in these circumstances.
Honestly, probably a good point, but beyond my expertise. I have an acquaintance that is an electrician, and he's received a couple 'shocks' that had him in the hosptial. So I figured it was enough to run with.
“He lied! I can’t believe he would lie about that! What kind of sicko drags a girl into an abandoned, colder-than-snow building on Christmas Eve, ties her up, tells her he’s going to blow her up, and then doesn’t even bring a bomb?!”
rotflol well, he did blow up her Christmas plans. That counts for something, doesn’t it?
Laughed out LOUD at this - yes, blowing up her plans definitely counts.
He tilted his head to gesture to her, brows furrowed. “You’re crying.”
“Oh.” She pulled a hand from beneath the cape to touch her face. Fresh tears were tracking down her cheeks.
Given where we are in the story, I’m thinking you needed Griffin just to mess Lois up so Superman could then take care of her.
Did you SEE my prompts?? I had to come up with a SWEEPING kiss! A "really, really amazing kiss!" That's TWO Really's! AND, to top it off, these prompts are from Sara, MISS 110 KISSES. I'm noooooot good at writing that part. I'm good at having them sneaking around warehouses and getting chased by the dock. So, YEAH, Griffin was my little tool to mentally shred her for the sole purpose of 'kiss it and make it better.'
PERRY: Merry Christmas, people! This new reporter here comes highly recommended from our good friend Mr. Randolph Goode.
And THIS is a genius plot bunny! Randy sent Ralph over to the Planet as his corporate spy!
Between his reassurances and the rare display of affection he was offering her, she felt her breathing slow.
He slowly moved to her other cheek and gently kissed her there, too.
She’s not gonna establish the in-bed-with-Superman-at-Christmas tradition, is she?
Not in this story, but check back in after a year or two and we'll see if that outline had become a draft.
And every inch of it was strung with Christmas lights.
Eeep! He’s baaa-ack!
I have to admit that I had my head in my hands at the sheer number of times you correctly predicted this plot up until now.
So when I read this I cackled. Gotcha!
Clark’s hand slid around her, coming to rest on her lower back – and causing another palpitation. She let herself lean in closer to him and followed as he led her down into the bullpen.
Awwwwwwww which makes me wonder if that is for Sara. She does like this interaction.
Nice catch. Sara is helping me (enormously) with some beta-ing. So aside from this being her a response to her prompts, I'm trying to add this little touch into every story in 2024. We'll see if I accomplish that!
“Marley was dead: to begin with,” hadn’t struck her or her sister as the opening to a story they wanted to finish.
You went all out!
Y'all said it was a CHRISTMAS FIC-A-THON! Y'all got every single Christmas reference I could wedge into this.
Superman was around for the action, but she needed Clark to survive.
Awwww… so, Superman for the bedroom and Clark to keep the house and raise the kids?
At the speed at which Superman can move... he's also the one cleaning the house.
It turned out that it was the man in the impossibly ugly, light-up reindeer tie,
You sneaked that in! Clark went with the over-christmassed theme of the newsroom.
I decided she'd only really notice it (as a positive thing) after she'd changed her perspective on him a little. Gotta get that ugly tie trope in there.
Doesn’t count for the Kerth revelation category.
It does not.
...and thanks for mentioning that because I think I'm going to request that this and the epligoue get judged together. They're really one piece anyway. I'll remember that for next year!
Last night, she’d been taunted by the Prankster as a physical embodiment of Christmas past, and pulled out of the year’s horrific Christmas present by Superman. Now, watching the expressions flitting across Clark’s eyes, she wondered if maybe he could be her Christmas future?
Nice foreshadowing with Dickens and now plopping it in. Wonderful craftsmanship clap
THANK YOU! I was so excited when I was able to work that! Chekhov and Dickens did so much heavy lifting for me in this story!
And maybe the Kents would leave their mistletoe up through the new year, her mind whispered.
LOIS: Clark, why is there mistletoe above your bed?
CLARK: Mo-o-om!
Martha would do it, too!
“I know,” she replied evenly, wondering if she was about to sustain an incurable injury at the bottom of an empty pool.
Yay for keeping the theme alive!
I Beat This TO DEATH.
“Does this mean you’ll come back to Kansas with me?” he asked earnestly.
She laughed softly and sat up to meet his eyes again. “If we can find flights, yes.”
Ahhhhhhhh
Yup, just move right on to the epilogue, friend, for this gag to resolve. It's short.
You did a wonderful story, Evie!
Thank you. I really do appreciate the kind words. I know I've said it before, but it's always such a joy to see what hit by reading your FDK and seeing the story through your lens!
Darth Michael, what gave it away? Good guessing, though! I do love an em-dash. But I threw in those emoji snowflake section separators just for you, to give you one less clue that would align.
Yes, those separators were evil. And something that stumped me from guessing you since I had no idea just how deep you already waded into the whole Guess the Author genre. And I didn't even outline the whole guessing strategy when the story was posted. As to what narrowed it down originally: I'm sorry to say it was exclusion principle to the last. You did hide most of the easy-to-spot typographical stuff. I did manage to jot down some stylistic idiosyncrasies for next time
Eeeeeeeeexcellent. I'm a quick study.
I'll have to give it some though to see if I want to disguise myself or not on the next GTA. Might be fun to play 'Stump Michael.' We'll see how the story goes!
Evie
