Wow, I think I have
Away from the Sun Posting Whiplash! So long with no posts, keeping us waiting desperately for more, and then before I can post on a much-awaited new part, BAM, you post another!
And that, by the way, is NOT a complaint! You've just made me feel behind (which is not a strange feeling for me, actually)
Okay, Sara.... this was a *fantastic* part, right from the beginning...
Clark dragged his eyes open and looked around blearily. Pain. Shoulder. Hospital. Pain.
Doctors asking questions. Surgery. Asking questions about surgery. And how they should do it. They had asked if drugs would work. Pain killers, anesthetics... anything. Because they'd been worried about adverse effects, not knowing what a Kryptonian might react to, might develop complications from, might die from. Well, he hadn't known either.
He'd told them to try. Strong drugs. Something. Anything to stop the pain.
I love your style and how it symbolizes Clark's state of mind. Choppy sentences. One word sentences. Repeating certain words. And we get from it: confusion, pain, feeling that Clark is so lost right now, and scared, too. So...
Nice.
And then this, so horrifying...
He could still feel a phantom knife digging for the bullet. Pushing and ripping. Muscle and flesh. He'd screamed, yelled, managed to crush the metal side rail they'd let him hang on to with his left hand before he'd passed out from the pain.
... that is AWFUL! And I'm trying to block the image out, and the sick feelings it conjures up, but I can't! I'm suffering right there with him, feeling for him, and how horrible that must be! And I have to applaud that you've brought this - gulp, god-awful - moment completely to life for me, even if I've tried to just skim over it, lightly, thinking, "no big deal. Sara will give us a happy ending surely, so this should not upset me. At all. Uh-uh." But it does! And in that quote, I looooove the word "phantom", because that is the trigger word for me, for my intense reaction to the entire moment. A "phantom knife" - but the feelings, so painful and real, it's... I don't know. Wow. Great.
Not even when he was lying there just as vulnerable as the next guy. An ordinary guy... but so far from being human.
Damn the irony.
I had to smile at that last line!! But a sad smile, because this, to me, is so sad here. He's not super. Never normal. So where is his place in the world now? Not like everyone else, not his usual very special person either. "Damn the irony." I can feel something twisting inside of me, imagining how he must feel now. Really nice touch. Adds a humor to the intense situation, but not completely. It kind of emphasizes the buried (and not-so-buried) pain even more.
And then on the Elle and Pete end!!...
What the hell did her heart know? Everyone knew that relationships built on time spent together in dangerous situations never worked. That was the classic movie cliché. It just didn’t fly in real life.
Not that she’d been entertaining the idea. She hadn’t. Elle cleared her throat. Nope, she was merely waiting for Pete because...
... well, I think *I* can guess why <g>. I love the way you've developed her. Them. I'm so eager to see if they become a classic movie cliche (I, personally, LOVE movie cliches!)
Honestly, Sara, this was such a great part! So many great things going on at once, so many emotions surfacing after all the intensity from before.
/me rushes over to see the next part!!! ~NICOLE
