Your story contained the following gem:
"Without any sources, Perry will shred your article," Clark cried cuttingly.
I'm not sure whether to talk first about the dangling particle or the Tom Swifty, so I'll give the same advice for both: Don't use either type of construct unless there is a compelling reason to do so. You *might* be able to get away with a Tom Swifty, for example, if you are writing a story that contains a lot of tongue-in-cheek metahumor. In such a story, it *might*, *possibly* be appropriate to contain a sentence such as, "Look how fast I am running," exclaimed Tom swiftly." Even that is a stretch. At this stage of your writing career, it would be better to avoid such constructs altogether.
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BTW, I thoroughly enjoyed your post, Deadly Chakram.
