This was marvelous from beginning to end, but what really took me by surprise and made me rotflol was "his sexiest girlfriend Lois Lane"

Not his girlfriend, his sexiest girlfriend. Lucky Lois, the prettiest little filly in the (apparently) vast stable.

I was giggle-snorting clap

"HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE." -Terry Pratchett, Hogfather