/eyes Muse/
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/ostern/ostern(55).gif)
/takes cover/
Lois climbed up the stairs to her apartment. She had lost count how many staircases she had scaled that evening.
She’s living on the 5th floor, so…
LOIS: Too many? And where is Clark when I could use some strong man to carry me across the threshold… I’m almost considering ordering some sushi
Why did she live so high up again?
Right. Safety. Higher floors typically had fewer crimes.
And yet, her place got broken in at least twice in the past 12 months, there’ve been two additional home invasions that where coupled with assassination attempts. There’s been the incident with the exploding microwave
LOIS: Not *my* fault. *I* know not to put metal into the microwave!
CLARK:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/c085.gif)
Anyhow, I think Lois’s apartment alone is enough to give the crime statistics for the entire neighborhood a significant bump. Probably enough so to devalue most of the property around her address. She’ll likely get evicted any day now.
Why shouldn’t messed up traffic signals, the Internet, the phones, and then the power being interrupted be counted as an emergency? It certainly was to Lois’s aching feet.
Why had she thought these new shoes would be a good idea for today?
Because the extra inch on the heels gives her some much needed height advantage over Clark?
She had to remember that Lois wasn’t always on time, right?
Oh, *that’s* where all the pregnancy scares are coming from. She’s just a very irregular person.
Molly had been a good friend back in college. How could she have gone from hard-working computer programmer to terrorist? It just didn’t compute.
Maybe Molly had an integer overflow when tried to hash out her bucket list?
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/haushalt/g025.gif)
If Molly knew how implicitly Lois trusted Clark’s loyalty, she would probably be saying that Lois seemed like a completely different person, too.
Funny. Clark’s was going to say the same thing, too, during their wedding night.
LOIS: Ribbit?
Lois and Clark weren’t even considering marriage, though. Well, Lois wasn’t.
Meanwhile at Mazzik’s…
CLARK: …Yes. Her finger’s about this thick…
They could have a lifelong relationship without pomp and ceremony, couldn’t they? This was the 1990s after all.
But what about the kids?
Clark just wasn’t the type of guy to withhold sex to get a lifetime commitment out of her. It was an idiotic plan no man would ever contemplate.
It was well known that women had more patience for abstinence than men did.
And yet, Lois took advantage of him at least once while he was unconscious and also pressured him on multiple occasions into playing baseball.
Clark couldn’t be that much of a lunkhead.
Still doesn’t know him, huh?
She would have to make a note on her calendar to see how many blackout babies were born next August; although, that seemed more the type of fluff piece Clark liked to write. She would put a note on his calendar.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/froehlich/g053.gif)
Will she also make a note in her calendar to get a pregnancy test two months down the line?
As Lois approached the body, her shoe slipped on something slick, twisting her ankle.
Blood? And what will Clark say when he finds an empty apartment and a pool of blood where Lois should have been?
Superman dropped the assailant on the roof of the nearest police precinct and rushed to find her, only Lois had stopped screaming by the time he started his search.
Umm…
Where are we going to get a replacement from?
He sped past the Daily Planet, but a quick scan told him that she wasn’t there. The next second, he headed to her apartment.
She’s very like already looking sort of like Lex by now
An annoyed groan led him down several stories to the building’s flagpole.
Oh.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/c080.gif)
“Hi,” Superman said, lowering himself down to hover next to her.
“Hi,” Lois replied casually, as if she often hung from flag poles for sport.
Base jumping.
He crossed his arms. Was she really so stubborn that she wasn’t going to ask for his assistance?
He got to ask? But Lois could offer up sexual favors if she happened to end up on her bed in the next 30 seconds. That way, she wouldn’t have asked for help. Instead, Superman would be the one doing the propositioning.
He nodded in understanding. Of course, Lois wouldn’t have real food at her apartment.
LOIS: I so have. It just happens to be stored below the freezing point of water.
“Star gazing,” Lois replied wryly. “I can see them much better from here.”
Wouldn’t the roof be much better suited to this?
“I’d like that,” she said. She was quiet for a moment. “Can you do me a favor?”
Superman couldn’t stop the edges of his lips from curving upwards. “Anything.”
“Could you toss these shoes in the next fire you see?”
It was the same ankle she twisted while at the Sewage Treatment Plant.
Sounds like it never healed completely. Maybe it’s all Clark’s fault in the first place, her falling out the window and everything.
“What does a woman have to do around here to get your help?” she finally inquired.
“Ask for it,” he replied, still waiting.
“Ha!” she scoffed. “I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction of saying ‘octopus’.”
Grinning, he scooped her into his arms and flew her up to her apartment.
“That doesn’t count!” Lois exclaimed as he set her down inside.
Sure it did. She said it, after all.
Would the same thing also apply to getting intimate attention?
His eyes widened. They might be in the privacy of Lois’s apartment; however, they both knew that Lois’s apartment was anything but private, especially after someone had just broken in.
Yes, but couldn’t he do a quick sweep?
“Didn’t you?” he returned. It was impossible for him to lock it from the outside and she was supposed to check that it was locked before leaving her apartment.
Couldn’t he fix locks to the outside of the windows and door, locking her apartment from the outside when he leaves?
“Fine. Neither of us are the blame,”
‘to’?
“Fine. Neither of us are the blame,” she said, which was her way of saying that they were both responsible or at least, she refused to take sole possession of it.
“I don’t know why you’re being so snippy with me, Lois. It’s not as if I asked you to wear a bulletproof vest, though we both know you could use it more than…”
Lois interrupted, “Like that would’ve really helped tonight.”
Well, some bulletproof outfits come equipped with base-jump equipment, too.
He couldn’t really afford for her to be right a third time at the moment, so, he held up a finger. “Hold that thought.”
She waved him off. “Go!”
Tsk tsk tsk…
He brought out two glasses of water from the kitchen. “You really do need to stock up on staples.”
“I have some. They’re in my desk.”
Yes, but DFCBs aren’t a wholesome meal for the entire family.
It came out more like, ‘Ah hipped om Olly’s kar.’
So, she brought her hip area into contact with Olly’s snake?
[img]
http://www.whoisbane.com/uploads/7/5/2/1/7521982/1271186.jpg?413[/img]
Maybe Clark should be worried?
A burrito? Is that healthy food?
“Ooops,” he said instead of saying the statistics aloud. He set the burrito down on her coffee table and heat-visioned off any germs on his hands. “Satisfied?”
And what about the regular dirt?
She sneered as if that idea literally stunk. “I doubt he could’ve developed one in only a year.”
Buy a soapbox, 4 wheels, a car battery, a RC car, and a gatlin gun, and you’re good to go.
The military would view a visit from him as a hostile action, especially if he wasn’t invited.
That, and he’s flying a red flag with a golden symbol on it on his back. Might as well carry a Soviet or Red China passport.
Lois shaded her eyes as she stared at Superman… or that bluish red dot hovering in the early morning light above Fort Truman. She lifted her mobile phone to her ear as soon as it rang. “Anything?”
From the driver’s side of the jeep she borrowed
‘had borrowed’?
“Do you remember how fond I was of Officer Elliot?” From the driver’s side of the jeep she borrowed, Lois picked up the uniform she had commandeered for him and pressed it against his chest. “He’s joined the Army.”
She does like her men in uniform. Wonder if she’s also hot for firefighters…
CLARK: Why does he think I’m spending so much time putting out fires and rescuing kittens from trees.
“You do know that it’s a Federal offense to impersonate a military officer, right?” he asked.
Lois looked down at her fatigues. “That’s why I’m enlisted.”
Once again, he filled out this suit to perfection. Something about Clark in a uniform should be illegal, she decided, for causing distraction in the female population. At least, this one female person.
/hands Lois a tissue so she can wipe away the drool/
Wonder if she knows that fraternization is prohibited between members of the military holding different ranks.
LOIS:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/teufel/d075.gif)
CLARK: You *had* to mention that it’s prohibited…
Lois straitened his tie and pulled him in for a kiss. “I can’t wait to take this off you later, Captain Kent.”
“That makes two of us,” he replied, lifting his hand to the nape of her neck. Then he removed her dangling earrings. He paused, looking sheepish, as he handed them over to her. “I mean…”
…that he can’t wait to take off her soldier’s fatigues?
“I’ve missed you,” she murmured. Okay, not as much as her microwave, but she wasn’t going to tell it that.
“So, apparently,” Lois told Clark as they walked up the stairs to the bullpen in order to type up their story on manual typewriters.
Clark would draw the wrong conclusion.
‘Of course, Clark…’?
He chuckled. “Okay, but I was thinking more along the lines for saving your life.”
“You did not!” she adamantly denied.
The flagpole?
“Send him over later, and I’ll give him a proper thank you.” She continued climbing the stairs.
Now, why does she sound like she’s planning to pay him back in kind?
He cleared his throat, so it meant she was doing it right. “Does being an officer mean that you have to follow my orders?”
Clark!
LOIS: Red light. And I can have you brought up on charges for that. You’ll end up in the stockade, court-martialed, and dishonorably discharged.
“In your dreams, Chuck!” she scoffed before heading up the stairs once more.
“Yep, in my dreams,” he confirmed. “Only in my dreams.”
Maybe someone should lock them in a room, flash him with Kryptonite for a second or two, and then leave them alone for a bit…
Michael
