What a wonderfully WAFFy and sweet story! I loved back in July when I got to read it the first time, and even more now that there's snow on the ground outside.
You capture them so, so well -- their nervousness, their shared affection, and the anticipation that they're on the brink of something life-changing. <sigh>
A few favorite bits:
It all hurts too much, not because of how it feels, but because I know now how it feels when it’s gone.
The black emptiness, the icy cold void that shrouded my soul when I thought he had died. When I cried over his lifeless body on the floor of that back street casino and felt all the light and color pour from my very being. The sudden certainty that without him, I was no longer me.
That is achingly beautiful. <sniffle>
I’m so angry at myself for being such a coward, for waiting for him to decide that this is the right time and place.
Because he won’t – he’s not going to. He risked the words before; he touched the fire that day in the park and I burned him.
I love that she's able to recognize this, and that she can recognize how her actions hurt him.
I pat my hand against his chest. “You’re gonna love it. I have everything you could possibly want: turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce. I even have a pie; well, two, actually. Apple and pumpkin. I mean, pumpkin’s traditional, but isn’t that a vegetable? Why would anyone want vegetable pie? So I got apple, too – you know, the kind with the crumbles on top?”
He gently puts his hand against my arm to halt my non-stop babbling. “You didn’t have to go through all the trouble. I would have come even if it was just turkey sandwiches.”
I breathe deeply, steeling myself against his honesty. I know he would – I know he did. He’s a terrible liar; there’s hardly a flurry of snow on the ground, so it’s all too obvious that he changed his plans for me. And that makes me love him even more.
Awwww! I love the babbling.
I suspect he would have shown up even if all she had was water from the tap.
And I love that she recognizes that Clark came simply to be with her. And that she loves him even more for it.
I draw my eyes away from him and survey the table. “I know it’s stupid. I just wanted the perfect Christmas for once.” I sink into a chair, and Clark sits opposite me with his hands folded politely in front of his plate. “I thought if I had all this food and invited a bunch of friends, then maybe I’d wipe out some of my bad Christmas memories and capture some of your good ones.” I shrug. “Lame, huh?”
Clark reaches his hand across the table and takes hold of mine. “Not at all.” His thumb strokes absently against my skin, making my heartbeat flutter. “I’m sorry more people couldn’t make it.”
I shake my head. “Honestly, the only person I really wanted to come is here.”
His face glows, but then he tries to suppress his smile as he teases, “I don’t see Superman.”
I lean forward and whisper conspiratorially, “I didn’t even invite him.”
Love the banter! Love the UST!
I also got a kick out of her admitting that she didn't really cook it, and his teasing that she's mastered the fine art of takeout. Ha! Which then leads into this:
“Mother always said I’d never get a man if I didn’t learn how to cook a decent meal.”
I see Clark gulp down a bite of food, and it seems like he’s considering his response. Then he quietly says, “Maybe you just need a man who knows how to cook for himself.”
I can’t let that easy opportunity to tease him pass by. “Know anyone who qualifies?”
“I might,” he says before sealing his lips shut and looking pointedly away from me, as if he’s doing his best to neutralize the grin that’s threatening to overtake his face.
I press the issue, because this might be the right time and it’s definitely the right place. “I think I already met him.”
Clark closes his eyes briefly and I can hear his breath catch, then he carefully cuts through a piece of turkey, clearly avoiding any acknowledgement of my words.
“I think I met him and didn’t realize what I had. I think I was so afraid of accepting everything we could have together that I ended up hurting him so badly that he’ll never try again.”
He looks directly at me – his eyes bore into mine – and I’m flooded with a flash of nerves that steal my breath and overwhelm me, because I can see everything he feels, and the purity and depth is unimaginable, like nothing I even remotely deserve.
I flee – I can hardly believe I’m doing it, but I find myself suddenly transported to the kitchen where I’m struggling to breathe and desperately trying to contain my emotions.
It's perfect! And perfectly them. <sigh> I could just paste the rest of the story in. <g> The kissing, the confessions, her realization of why he's always disappearing… Most of all, though, I love how it's so important to him to establish a link with not just Lois, but all of the cosmos. So, even though they were born on different planets, they're still made of the same star stuff. There's a link between them that isn't just romance or chemistry. It speaks to Clark's longing to belong and it makes me ache for them both.
“Put it back, please.” I don’t look at him, but can sense that he hasn’t moved. “It’s mine. It belongs here. I love it.”
What an awesome declaration of love! And then it becomes even more bittersweet when they talk about his parents.
“You know, light is like a cosmic time machine.” I see him nod slightly out of the corner of my eye before I continue. “So even though Superman is here, and his planet is gone, the light from his star is still reaching out to him.”
Clark looks curiously at me but says nothing. He’s waiting, no doubt, for an emotional outburst, for the kind of painful rejection he’s felt before. How he can stand here with me after all I’ve done to him in the past is beyond my comprehension.
“Your parents...” I nudge my head towards the night sky as I give him a weak smile. “Your birth parents...they must have loved you very much. To send you across the galaxy, to give you a chance that they didn’t have.” I try and contain my emotions because I want him to hear me, to understand me; I need to express my thoughts in words that are so hard to formulate. “But they reach out to you every night.”
So beautifully put! It makes me think about a line from the Watchmen, one of the characters talks about how the light from stars takes so long to reach us that all we ever see of them is their old photographs.
I have to look away because his sincerity causes my heart to race. I deflect in order to gain a moment to regroup. I cock an eyebrow and say, with a wry, droll tone, “Well, I was going to throw you out the window.”
He smiles as he shrugs. “I’d survive the fall.”
His joke catches me off guard and I laugh, and then he laughs, and the tension between us evaporates.
Love this! And then you have the awesome banter with her loving Clark and tolerating Superman. Hee! And it end with a kiss.
Perfection!
