Anna, I'm so sorry. Your post really spoke to me, as in the last year we had to put two of our dogs to sleep due to old age and the illnesses that went with that.
If it's any comfort, or helps you with your feelings of guilt, I thought I'd pass along what our vet told me when we were trying to decide if it was time to let go, or if we could hold on a bit longer.
First, that really good dogs will try hard to hide how sick they are. It's in their nature to protect their human companions from distress. So, in a way it's a relief to them when they can just rest. Like, as Woody mentioned, their cat licking Dorawen's hand.
Second, your dog knew he could trust you. There was no sense of betrayal or fear when he fell asleep. He was in good, loving hands.
I hope that helps a bit. I know you'll grieve him. Good pets will break your heart. No matter how long they live, it isn't ever going to be long enough.
take care,
CC
