Okay, I can't resist, but I'm doing them backwards...

For the second picture: "Lois, if you had just let my mom give you cooking lessons, you wouldn't be facing these manslaughter charges!"

And for the first: "Hey, that's *my* wife's cooking you're insulting!"

PJ

"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."

--Stardust, Caroline K