I should be asleep, but it’s too hot, so I thought I’d have a go at this as well. It’s almost certainly awful – enjoy!
---
Lois grumbled and reached over to grab the phone. "Whatever it is, it'd better be important. Do you have any idea what time it is?!" She rubbed her eyes, trying to wake up a little.
“I know, I know, but I thought I ought to tell you straight away.”
"Huh?"
“It’s me, Clark, I think I’m Superman and--”
"*Superman*?" She sat up a little straighter, a frown crossing her features. "Have you been drinking?"
“No. Well, a couple of glasses of champagne in celebration. Me and Cat just got married.”
Her hand came up to rub her eyes again. "Calm down, okay? I can't follow a word you're---*Married*?!" She glared at the phone. "You *have* been drinking."
“No, honestly Lois. Apparently we’ve been seeing each other in secret for a while now, and with this asteroid about to kill us all we thought, well, why not. But apparently when we kissed at the altar we floated off the ground, so we’re trying to find my Superman costume and work out how I fly so I can have another go at saving the Earth and then we can have a proper honeymoon in Hawaii. Cat thinks I should just jump off the roof of my, I mean ‘our’, apartment and see what happens. And if I can’t work it out tonight, well, it is our wedding night and Cat has some very... interesting ideas on how we can celebrate it.”
"Uh huh. What?! No! No, that's a very bad---just---just stay right where you are, okay? In fact...do you want me to come get you?" She started to climb out of bed.
“No, Lois, don’t be silly. I’m not going to hurt myself. Cat’s already tried to stab me with a knife. It’s just a ball of metal now, I really am Superman. And we don’t need your help, we’ve already got Jimmy here helping out, and we’re struggling to get him to go away and stop interrupting us when we’re making out.”
"What? Oh, he is? That's...that's good, then, I guess."
“It’s only good if you don’t want a nice romantic wedding-night with your new wife, Lois. To be honest, I think he’s a little jealous. ... Oh, wait, Jimmy’s just found a secret compartment in my wardrobe. It’s full of Superman costumes. ... What? ... Oh, Cat’s saying something about trying to figure out how to attach the capes. ... No, honey, I have no idea. ... I think it’s going to take us all night just to work out how I’m supposed to get these outfits on, let alone fly. I’d better get to it.”
"Yeah, you do that. I'll see you tomorrow, then?"
“Hopefully. And if we can get this all sorted out in time, I’ll be able to see you the day after as well. I’d better go, Lois, I’ve got to save the world.”
"Okay. Goodnight."
“Goodnight, Lois. I know it’s a lot to take in all at once but trust me, everything’s going to be all right. See you tomorrow.”
Lois hung up the phone, yawning as she settled back into bed. It was only a matter of seconds before sleep reclaimed her.
--
OK, that really isn’t as good as the others. And I'm almost ashamed to post this... but to make it work better I'd need to change a couple of Lois' lines as well and that really wouldn't be in the spirit of the challenge. So I'm putting away my red pens, hitting the 'add reply' button, and blaming it all on sleep-deprivation.
- Alisha
