Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2
#94267 04/06/13 10:53 AM
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371
Likes: 1
bobbart Offline OP
Top Banana
OP Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371
Likes: 1
Comedy is SO hard!!! Give me WAFFy anytime. smile

And obviously this is based on the "magic kiss" that ends the movie Superman II. (But not the Donner-cut version.)

Feedback here please.

Note: Renamed from Memories. No change in the story, I just changed the title. I hope no one gets confused.

Bob

#94268 04/06/13 11:06 AM
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,662
Likes: 10
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,662
Likes: 10
Yikes! dance

LOLOLOL! Loved it! Poor Lois, those super kisses really did a number on her. Maybe Clark should have listened to Zara and Ching.

Nice job!


Morgana

A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
#94269 04/06/13 11:22 AM
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292
Kerth
Offline
Kerth
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292
Oh my gosh, what a riot! "Everybody knows that!" rotflol


The only known quantity that moves faster than
light is the office grapevine. (from Nan's fabulous Home series)
#94270 04/06/13 11:58 AM
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,393
Likes: 1
L
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
L
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,393
Likes: 1
rotflol That was *hysterical*! And it was the first memory-wipe kiss I ever came across that I actually liked. (I wouldn't be surprised if it were the last one, too.)

One slight correction you might want to make:
Quote
Not only does he support this charity as Superman, he volunteers regularly in his everyday identify of Clark Kent.
I think you meant "identity."

I already know I'm going to have a tough time deciding what story to vote for in the Kerth comedy category next year -- this is definitely a strong contender.

Joy,
Lynn

#94271 04/06/13 12:29 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,166
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,166
Quote
She turned to Clark and held the printout in front of her. “Without Superman's intervention, the fire would have gutted the Seventh Street Orphanage. The fact this intervention was Superman's first activity after his return to Metropolis is particularly ironic. This organization has been a favorite of our local hero since shortly after he arrived in Metropolis. Not only does he support this charity as Superman, he volunteers regularly in his everyday identify of Clark Kent.”
ROFLOL!!! Poor Clark. I can see a sequel.


~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
#94272 04/06/13 12:38 PM
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 217
Hack from Nowheresville
Offline
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 217
Nice job, a really funny fic. The erase kiss is a great idea, it is one of the best revelation story! Who would have thought that telepathy could be so dangerous! ; )

#94273 04/06/13 03:51 PM
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,357
C
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
C
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,357
Love it, love it, love it!

I love how you found an in canon reason for the kiss to work in this universe (of course he wouldn't WANT it to work though.)

And that last line...priceless.

clap clap clap


CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx.
JONATHAN: A jinx?
CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me.
-"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)
#94274 04/06/13 04:12 PM
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823
/bursts out in guffaws/

Great ending line!

Now, I'm a person that thinks that Perry already knows The Secret, so it's OK that he proof-read this article. Bob, the way you wrote this makes me think that you think that Perry already knows The Secret too.

#94275 04/06/13 06:11 PM
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
clap I like that Clark keeps having to change identities because he messes up with his thoughts during the memory wipe kisses. "Everyone knows" [Linked Image]

When you mentioned that his family had the strongest telepathic abilities on Krypton, I thought he was going to accidentally share his thoughts to Lois with the whole world (or just Metropolis).

This is great! Big surprise ending. Love it!


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
#94276 04/06/13 08:17 PM
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371
Likes: 1
bobbart Offline OP
Top Banana
OP Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371
Likes: 1
First of all, thank you all so much for the very kind words. I really was worried about how well this would work. Beverly was my only beta on this and she has a tendency to be less-than-critical when she reviews my stories. I'm very happy that so many are enjoying the story.


Morgana:
Quote
Maybe Clark should have listened to Zara and Ching.
But everything was going so well... The reality is that I don't think any of us would be willing to listen to this type of caution unless we had some very hard evidence that there was a danger. Well, Clark did get the evidence, he just got it a little late.


Lara:
Quote
Oh my gosh, what a riot! "Everybody knows that!"
I'm very happy that it worked for you. Naturally I thought it was funny, but you never know until you read the FDK. smile


Lynn:
Quote
And it was the first memory-wipe kiss I ever came across that I actually liked. (I wouldn't be surprised if it were the last one, too.)
thud High praise indeed. I... Thank you.
Quote
I think you meant "identity."
I did and it is fixed now. Thank you.


Classicalla:
Quote
ROFLOL!!! Poor Clark. I can see a sequel.
Thanks, but even though I have a few thoughts, I'm not sure they would do justice to the idea. Of course, one never knows.


Annalina19:
Quote
The erase kiss is a great idea, it is one of the best revelation story!
Thank you.
Quote
Who would have thought that telepathy could be so dangerous!
Clearly not Clark. smile


Christina:
Quote
I love how you found an in canon reason for the kiss to work in this universe
Actually, the first place I saw the connection between the Superman II “magic kiss” and the LnC Kryptonian telepathy was in Dandello's “Plane Storm”. I would like to think I might have made the connection had I never read “Plane Storm”, but I did see in in Dandello's work first.
Quote
And that last line...priceless.
smile


IolantheAlias:
Quote
Now, I'm a person that thinks that Perry already knows The Secret, so it's OK that he proof-read this article. Bob, the way you wrote this makes me think that you think that Perry already knows The Secret too.
Well, in a word... Yes. Or at the very least, he was all but sure. Remember that this is set in Season 5+. He's seen the interaction between Lois, Clark and Superman for a long time. He's their friend, but as has been pointed out in many a story, he knows how to observe.


VirginiaR:
Quote
Who says you can't write comedy? Very well done!
Well, thank you. But I still find it very challenging. I am in awe of people like Mary (Queenie) that can turn out funny story after funny story.
Quote
When you mentioned that his family had the strongest telepathic abilities on Krypton, I thought he was going to accidentally share his thoughts to Lois with the whole world (or just Metropolis).
That has me thinking that there are a lot of potential stories that can pick up as soon as he returns to Earth. There are an almost endless set of possibilities. And, to be honest, many of them are very NOT funny.
Quote
This is great! Big surprise ending. Love it!
Again, thank you so much!


Bob

#94277 04/07/13 01:45 AM
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 732
Likes: 1
S
Columnist
Offline
Columnist
S
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 732
Likes: 1
Doh!! Things'll never be the same in the Kent/El/Lane household.

The MWK was already comedy--I'm glad to see it finally used for good rather than evil.


Shallowford
#94278 04/07/13 04:22 PM
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194
Likes: 1
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194
Likes: 1
I love it, Bob! And as your normally critical beta, wink I will say that I'd only give one minor comment and one typo. Sorry I missed your emails. I was sick Friday and recovering Saturday. Seriously, this is a great story, and the punch line works well. It's a great dig at the magic kiss, too.


This *is* my happily ever after.
#94279 04/07/13 06:14 PM
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371
Likes: 1
bobbart Offline OP
Top Banana
OP Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371
Likes: 1
Hi, Shallowford
Quote
The MWK was already comedy--I'm glad to see it finally used for good rather than evil.
Yeah. I still remember the first time I saw that in the movie. It was a confused dizzy wallbash moment.

I mean really, I'd been reading and watching Superman all my life and never heard of anything like that. It was bad movie-making of the worst kind.

Fortunately, Kryptonians being telepathic sets the stage for making it reasonable. But you still have to set the stage!!!


HappyGirl:
Quote
I was sick Friday and recovering Saturday.
I hope you are feeling better.
Quote
Seriously, this is a great story, and the punch line works well. It's a great dig at the magic kiss, too.
Thanks. As you can see above, the magic kiss is NOT my favorite part of the Superman multiverse.


Note to all: I hope that my changing the name of the story doesn't confuse people too much. After some consideration, I decided I like Memory better given the nature of this story.

Bob

#94280 04/08/13 07:41 AM
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131
Kerth
Offline
Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131
rotflol Well done! I think you did just fine all on your own! I loved it!


Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
--Mark Twain
#94281 04/08/13 08:22 AM
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 624
M
Columnist
Offline
Columnist
M
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 624
Quote
I mean really, I'd been reading and watching Superman all my life and never heard of anything like that. It was bad movie-making of the worst kind.

Fortunately, Kryptonians being telepathic sets the stage for making it reasonable. But you still have to set the stage!!!
What about super-hypnotism? Superman used that all the time in the 60's. Maybe he super-hypnotized her into forgetting.


"It is a remarkable dichotomy. In many ways, Clark is the most human of us all. Then...he shoots fire from the skies, and it is difficult not to think of him as a god. And how fortunate we all are that it does not occur to him." -Batman (in Superman/Batman #3 by Jeph Loeb)
#94282 04/08/13 12:40 PM
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371
Likes: 1
bobbart Offline OP
Top Banana
OP Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371
Likes: 1
Mouserocks:
Quote
I think you did just fine all on your own! I loved it!
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. smile


mrsMxyzptlk:
Quote
What about super-hypnotism? Superman used that all the time in the 60's.
Really??!! I don't remember that at all. I remember lots of super-ventriloquism for when he had to talk to people at a distance, but I don't remember that.

However, in the context of Superman II, I still don't like it. All they would have had to do was toss in a Fortress of Solitude scene where he was told about mental powers. Then when the MWK happened, we - the viewers - would have had some chance at understanding what happened. The reason I called it bad movie-making, was not the idea, it was the complete lack of context.

Anyway, I need to do some research on super-hypnosis. Maybe I can use it some time in the future. (With context of course. smile )

Thanks for the note.

Bob

#94283 04/08/13 02:28 PM
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 624
M
Columnist
Offline
Columnist
M
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 624
It would probably take me a while to dig and find some issues where Superman uses super-hypnotism. I'll see what I can find.
Along with using it to mess with people, he would use super-hypnotism as part of his disguise. I've got a comic from the late 50's or early 60's where it showed that every morning before Clark left for work, he would do his hypnotism thing in the mirror on himself so that all day he would subtly hypnotize everyone he met into not noticing that he looked exactly like Superman. I'm pretty sure he used it a few times to mess with Lois's memories.

However, even given this obscure precedent for Superman having mental powers and being able to mess with people's minds, I agree that the whole Superman II mind-wipe kiss is pretty messed up. Even creepier, though, is Superman IV: A Quest for Peace. In that one, Clark walks off of Lois's balcony, completely freaking her out and blowing his secret identity. Then, after he takes her flying, he mind-wipes her AGAIN. The casual way he does it seems to imply that it's not an isolated incident. Exactly how much time has Lois lost due to Clark messing with her like that? How many times has he taken her away for some romantic weekend or whatever and then made her forget it? The implications are horrible.

I like the way you made the mind-wipe part of Clark's telepathy. It hadn't occurred to me before I read this story that his telepathy might be used that way.


"It is a remarkable dichotomy. In many ways, Clark is the most human of us all. Then...he shoots fire from the skies, and it is difficult not to think of him as a god. And how fortunate we all are that it does not occur to him." -Batman (in Superman/Batman #3 by Jeph Loeb)
#94284 04/10/13 08:04 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,980
Likes: 11
Pulitzer
Online Content
Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,980
Likes: 11
Bob, never think you can't write comedy. laugh


~•~
#94285 04/10/13 05:53 PM
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 2,549
J
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
J
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 2,549
This was funny. smile1 that Clark quickly fixed the problem, at least most of it.

After getting to the end, it made a bit more sense what Lois had said to Clark earlier. She does not realize they even have to keep the secret, so mentioning Miami in the newsroom is no big deal.

Quote
The headed for Perry's office. “Please close the door,” he said when they arrived.
I think that line should open with "they".


John Pack Lambert
#94286 04/10/13 05:57 PM
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 2,549
J
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
J
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 2,549
Quote
Originally posted by bobbart:
First of all, thank you all so much for the very kind words. I really was worried about how well this would work. Beverly was my only beta on this and she has a tendency to be less-than-critical when she reviews my stories. I'm very happy that so many are enjoying the story.


Morgana:
Quote
Maybe Clark should have listened to Zara and Ching.
But everything was going so well... The reality is that I don't think any of us would be willing to listen to this type of caution unless we had some very hard evidence that there was a danger. Well, Clark did get the evidence, he just got it a little late.
Considering it was the only way he had to communicate with his wife, I don't really blame him. I am more shocked he went at all.


John Pack Lambert
Page 1 of 2 1 2

Moderated by  Kaylle, SuperBek 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5