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Feedback earns you my love.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Blogger
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Blogger
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Mpj
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Originally posted by Mpj891:
Liked it very much Thanks! So glad you enjoyed it! 
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Also just awesome!  Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
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Originally posted by Artemis: Also just awesome!
Artemis Thanks again!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
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Another great reveal for the challenge!  Good job! I especially liked the last line where Lois thought of him as "her Clark" That was very sweet.
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
--Mark Twain
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Originally posted by Mouserocks: Another great reveal for the challenge! Good job! I especially liked the last line where Lois thought of him as "her Clark" That was very sweet. Thanks again, Mouse! I actually waffled on the "her Clark" part, but I'm glad that I left it in. He does belong to her, after all!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: Thanks again, Mouse! I actually waffled on the "her Clark" part, but I'm glad that I left it in. He does belong to her, after all! 
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
--Mark Twain
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Originally posted by Mouserocks: Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: [b] Thanks again, Mouse! I actually waffled on the "her Clark" part, but I'm glad that I left it in. He does belong to her, after all! I would already own him.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 238 |
With your counter-part story where Clark doesn't say anything but her name, that makes sense with Lois' mouth. But to keep Lois to saying only Clark's name without the use of a rag stuffed in her mouth, that takes a lot of fancy dancing on the writer's part. And, you did a real tap dance on this one.
Enjoyed it!
Pat
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Originally posted by angelsgmaw:
With your counter-part story where Clark doesn't say anything but her name, that makes sense with Lois' mouth. But to keep Lois to saying only Clark's name without the use of a rag stuffed in her mouth, that takes a lot of fancy dancing on the writer's part. And, you did a real tap dance on this one.
Enjoyed it!
Pat Thanks so much, Pat! Glad that you enjoyed it. I'll admit, having Lois only saying Clark's name was definitely the harder of the two challenges! See you around IRC!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Feb 2007
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Sweet!!!!!! Great job  Loved it! 
EvelynC
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Originally posted by EvelynC: Sweet!!!!!! Great job
Loved it! Thanks again! 
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
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This was very well done. One note if you choose to edit this for the archive:
In this line: "Lois set her jaw and said nothing. Her blazing eyes said it all. Clark sighed and stood. He padded to the window that he always entered in when he was in his super disguise. He stood for a long moment, leaning on the sill and gazing out at the city that he proudly called his home. The city he would leave if Lois chose to reject him," you switch briefly from Lois's POV to Clark's. You might want to make that clear very early in the line or keep it from Lois's POV. I did a double-take because I assumed it was still Lois's POV and I thought she must know his secret already.
Very clever story. I enjoyed it a lot.
Happy
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Originally posted by HappyGirl:
This was very well done. One note if you choose to edit this for the archive:
In this line: "Lois set her jaw and said nothing. Her blazing eyes said it all. Clark sighed and stood. He padded to the window that he always entered in when he was in his super disguise. He stood for a long moment, leaning on the sill and gazing out at the city that he proudly called his home. The city he would leave if Lois chose to reject him," you switch briefly from Lois's POV to Clark's. You might want to make that clear very early in the line or keep it from Lois's POV. I did a double-take because I assumed it was still Lois's POV and I thought she must know his secret already.
Very clever story. I enjoyed it a lot.
Happy Good point HappyGirl. Thanks for catching that. Thanks for reading and for the review!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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