FDK: Just Say My Name, Lois - 09/22/11 04:01 PM
Feedback earns you my love.
Re: FDK: Just Say My Name, Lois - 09/22/11 05:17 PM
Liked it very much
Re: FDK: Just Say My Name, Lois - 09/22/11 08:16 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Mpj891:
Liked it very much
Liked it very much
Re: FDK: Just Say My Name, Lois - 09/22/11 08:39 PM
Also just awesome!
Artemis
Artemis
Re: FDK: Just Say My Name, Lois - 09/22/11 09:55 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Artemis:
Also just awesome!
Artemis
Also just awesome!
Artemis
Re: FDK: Just Say My Name, Lois - 09/22/11 11:20 PM
Another great reveal for the challenge! 
Good job! I especially liked the last line where Lois thought of him as "her Clark" That was very sweet.
Good job! I especially liked the last line where Lois thought of him as "her Clark" That was very sweet.
Re: FDK: Just Say My Name, Lois - 09/22/11 11:29 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Mouserocks:
Another great reveal for the challenge! Good job! I especially liked the last line where Lois thought of him as "her Clark" That was very sweet.
Another great reveal for the challenge!
Good job! I especially liked the last line where Lois thought of him as "her Clark" That was very sweet. He does belong to her, after all!
Re: FDK: Just Say My Name, Lois - 09/22/11 11:34 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Deadly Chakram:
Thanks again, Mouse! I actually waffled on the "her Clark" part, but I'm glad that I left it in. He does belong to her, after all!
Thanks again, Mouse! I actually waffled on the "her Clark" part, but I'm glad that I left it in.
He does belong to her, after all! 
Re: FDK: Just Say My Name, Lois - 09/22/11 11:41 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Mouserocks:
[/b]
Quote
Originally posted by Deadly Chakram:
[b] Thanks again, Mouse! I actually waffled on the "her Clark" part, but I'm glad that I left it in. He does belong to her, after all!
[b] Thanks again, Mouse! I actually waffled on the "her Clark" part, but I'm glad that I left it in.
He does belong to her, after all! [/b]
Re: FDK: Just Say My Name, Lois - 09/23/11 05:49 PM
With your counter-part story where Clark doesn't say anything but her name, that makes sense with Lois' mouth. But to keep Lois to saying only Clark's name without the use of a rag stuffed in her mouth, that takes a lot of fancy dancing on the writer's part. And, you did a real tap dance on this one.
Enjoyed it!
Pat
Enjoyed it!
Pat
Re: FDK: Just Say My Name, Lois - 09/23/11 08:08 PM
Quote
Originally posted by angelsgmaw:
With your counter-part story where Clark doesn't say anything but her name, that makes sense with Lois' mouth. But to keep Lois to saying only Clark's name without the use of a rag stuffed in her mouth, that takes a lot of fancy dancing on the writer's part. And, you did a real tap dance on this one.
Enjoyed it!
Pat
With your counter-part story where Clark doesn't say anything but her name, that makes sense with Lois' mouth. But to keep Lois to saying only Clark's name without the use of a rag stuffed in her mouth, that takes a lot of fancy dancing on the writer's part. And, you did a real tap dance on this one.
Enjoyed it!
Pat
Re: FDK: Just Say My Name, Lois - 09/23/11 11:26 PM
Sweet!!!!!! Great job 
Loved it!
Loved it!
Re: FDK: Just Say My Name, Lois - 09/23/11 11:32 PM
Quote
Originally posted by EvelynC:
Sweet!!!!!! Great job
Loved it!
Sweet!!!!!! Great job
Loved it!
Re: FDK: Just Say My Name, Lois - 09/24/11 09:29 PM
This was very well done. One note if you choose to edit this for the archive:
In this line: "Lois set her jaw and said nothing. Her blazing eyes said it all. Clark sighed and stood. He padded to the window that he always entered in when he was in his super disguise. He stood for a long moment, leaning on the sill and gazing out at the city that he proudly called his home. The city he would leave if Lois chose to reject him," you switch briefly from Lois's POV to Clark's. You might want to make that clear very early in the line or keep it from Lois's POV. I did a double-take because I assumed it was still Lois's POV and I thought she must know his secret already.
Very clever story. I enjoyed it a lot.
Happy
In this line: "Lois set her jaw and said nothing. Her blazing eyes said it all. Clark sighed and stood. He padded to the window that he always entered in when he was in his super disguise. He stood for a long moment, leaning on the sill and gazing out at the city that he proudly called his home. The city he would leave if Lois chose to reject him," you switch briefly from Lois's POV to Clark's. You might want to make that clear very early in the line or keep it from Lois's POV. I did a double-take because I assumed it was still Lois's POV and I thought she must know his secret already.
Very clever story. I enjoyed it a lot.
Happy
Re: FDK: Just Say My Name, Lois - 09/24/11 09:38 PM
Quote
Originally posted by HappyGirl:
This was very well done. One note if you choose to edit this for the archive:
In this line: "Lois set her jaw and said nothing. Her blazing eyes said it all. Clark sighed and stood. He padded to the window that he always entered in when he was in his super disguise. He stood for a long moment, leaning on the sill and gazing out at the city that he proudly called his home. The city he would leave if Lois chose to reject him," you switch briefly from Lois's POV to Clark's. You might want to make that clear very early in the line or keep it from Lois's POV. I did a double-take because I assumed it was still Lois's POV and I thought she must know his secret already.
Very clever story. I enjoyed it a lot.
Happy
This was very well done. One note if you choose to edit this for the archive:
In this line: "Lois set her jaw and said nothing. Her blazing eyes said it all. Clark sighed and stood. He padded to the window that he always entered in when he was in his super disguise. He stood for a long moment, leaning on the sill and gazing out at the city that he proudly called his home. The city he would leave if Lois chose to reject him," you switch briefly from Lois's POV to Clark's. You might want to make that clear very early in the line or keep it from Lois's POV. I did a double-take because I assumed it was still Lois's POV and I thought she must know his secret already.
Very clever story. I enjoyed it a lot.
Happy
Thanks for reading and for the review!