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Joined: Mar 2006
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,367 |
Oooh! I like! While posing as a dockworker, Clark had heard about a meeting that was set to happen in Gotham I hope he wasn't wearing the world's fakest beard. Since you don't mention it, I'm free to imagine him in a tight shirt that's suitably grimy.  Mmm - that's an even better mental image than the stevedore disguise. You also get points for giving Lois a less-hideous blue dress than the one she wore to Lex's party. That monstrosity belonged back in a mid-1980's prom. Clark let her go gently. "I'm sorry," he said. "There was no other way out that I could see."
"You're-- You--?" Lois choked out, taking a step back. "I-- But-- And-- How--?" she stuttered, confused.
"I'm sorry you had to find out this way," Clark told her gently. "But the important thing is that you're safe and we have the information we came for."
"The information!" she gasped. "My evening bag! The tape recorder! They're still in the club!" Ha! One of the funniest revelations ever! It's much too long to quote the whole part where she trusts him back, but that was very well done and very sweet. And that brings us to the banter that has me squirming with envy: "Hey wait," she called, pushing the door open again. "Isn't this the part where you hand me your phone number on a little folded note with 'call me' written on it in nice, big, hopeful print?"
Clark walked back toward her. "What? And deprive you of an opportunity to find it yourself?" he asked, raising an amused eyebrow. "I would never do that." Then, leaning in closer, he whispered to her ear, "Or, you know, you can just scream. Help Superman... it works for most people." I love the spiffy new ending - well done!
Lois: You know, I have a funny feeling that you didn't tell me your biggest secret.
Clark: Well, just to put your little mind at ease, Lois, you're right.
Ides of Metropolis
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Joined: Jun 2004
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 283 |
I usually don't like Gotham-set stories, but this one definitely has the power to change my mind! I loved the alt-character background stories, L&C's banter (with a hint of that spark that we all enjoy), and the possibility of this having an epilogue??? I hope? Maybe?? Yes? GREAT!!  This was very well-written and I enjoyed reading it immensely, as if you couldn't tell.  Lola
"We're both barefoot, both flushed, and we both look guilty as hell. Clark has finger-combed his hair but I'm positive mine looks like I was just f… fished out of the river."
<3 this fic!
'The Next Step' By Sue S.
Avatar by Shred
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Joined: Apr 2008
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2008
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 470 |
Well, I DO like Gotham stories, but I especially liked the breakneck pace of this one.
Smart Lois, decisive Clark, I liked this version of the characters. It was so good I didn't miss Batman (much)(his shadow doesn't count). Enough unexplained backstory to make it intriguing.
Enjoyed reading it!
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627 |
Mmm Gotham! Ugh, that's all I have time for; gotta give somebody a ride, but this was great! I could totally imagine a whole multi-part piece with Lois in Gotham City...clearly this was part 1/?, right?  Great story! JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2008
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YAY! I got my Ficathon fic! And it's two superheroes for the price of one, plus Lois Lane in an Alt-World!
*sighs* Everything I asked for...
A great fic!
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,946 Likes: 28
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,946 Likes: 28 |
I liked it  "It doesn't matter," Lois told him. "Besides, I think a tux would be more appropriate. You need to look rich enough to afford to be there. If you don't have one, I could probably--" Here I started to wonder if Clark would get shot in an illegal gambling hall. Panic rose inside of her - she knew this man, and he knew her. Wig or no, if he saw her face, he'd be able to identify her, and if he did, everything would be lost. Bruce Wayne? But that doesn't make sense. So, one of the Bat-gangsters? "Maybe," Lois said, "but who knows what else we could get from them? If we--" She stopped short, having spotted the man she'd tried to hide from earlier. "Dammit, I think we've been made," she told Clark, grabbing him by the arm. "We need to get out of here."
"See! I told you it was dangerous," Clark replied, following her closely as they headed toward the fire exit. Wondered about Lois' purse. After all... Gotham City had Lois Lane. Hmm... I'm not sure it's a happy ending without Lois and Clark in Metropolis. After all, there's Perry White left behind otherwise  Michael 
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194 Likes: 1 |
Terrific, very enjoyable story. I love these stories where the characters are familiar enough to be recognizable but different enough to surprise and delight us.
Great job!
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687 |
 Thank you all so much for your comments! I have to admit that I had a hard time writing this one - I trashed four possible stories before Eva came to my rescue and suggested a *much better* idea than any of the ones I'd had before! Sue - hee! Thank you! (for the comments, and again for the beta!) And I just love that you picked out my favorite line to quote. \o/ It makes me happy beyond what I know how to express with words. LolaDane - hehehe! I did say it wasn't what people would think, didn't I? I knew you guys would assume that this was all about Batman, and darn for once, it's so really not. Thanks for the comments! sarahg - I'll take that as a sign that you liked it.. yes? I'm not sure about any sequels, though, but thanks for asking. cookiesmom - *lol* You miss Batman? Well, hey, I know where to find him, if you like.  I'm really glad you liked this! Thank you for the comments! Shadow - hee! Thank you, my dear! I'm glad you liked! Not sure about sequels, but if I start thinking about one, you'll likely be among the first to hear about it. hehe! iolantealias - aww! I'm so glad you liked it! I struggled with this, but ultimately, I have to say that I enjoyed working on this story so very, very much, and I'm really happy how it turned out, so thank you for your request of an AU. I love AUs. Also: Gotham PD is pretty corrupted, yes, but Commissionner Gordon certainly isn't, so you can be pretty sure the bad guys wil rot in jail! Darth Michael - Thanks for the comments! When I put them in the gambling hall, I admit I had some TOGOM flashbacks...I made it on purpose to have them get out before shots were fired, though. But, uh, in my original notes, Clark played dead for a moment, and then I thought "yeah, bad idea!" ...and Clark is going back to Metropolis - he won't move to Gotham, I can promise this much. Lois...well, I'm not sure about her yet. You'll have to ask her. lol! HappyGirl - Thank you! I did try to keep them true to themselves as much as I possibly could, so I'm glad that showed and that it made the story enjoyable to you. Thanks, all! I really appreciate the comments. Even if I did drag Gotham City into this anyway. :p
Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,946 Likes: 28
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,946 Likes: 28 |
" ...and Clark is going back to Metropolis - he won't move to Gotham, I can promise this much. Lois...well, I'm not sure about her yet. You'll have to ask her. lol! /whispers/ You do realize you just admitted to doing a sequel, right?   Michael
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Joined: Jul 2006
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2006
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/whispers/ You do realize you just admitted to doing a sequel, right? lol! No, I said you should ask her... and hence I think I'm suggesting maybe you write a sequel. :p Besides, while this AU was fun for me, it doesn't really look like people here enjoyed it so much, and given all the anxiety I had about coming to post something after so long, I don't think I'm ready to do it again any time soon. Sorry!
Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Besides, while this AU was fun for me, it doesn't really look like people here enjoyed it so much I did! But I was a little disappointed that Lois and Clark didn't end up together, which is the main reason why I didn't comment before. But it was a fun AU fic, and I personally enjoy seeing Superman/Clark on his own in Gotham City. My favorite comic book Elseworld story had Kal-el crash to the Earth, land in Gotham City, become adopted by Thomas and Martha Wayne and grow up to become Super-Batman. Ah, but he did meet Lois Lane too, and there was a happy ending here...  Anyway, it was good fun to see Lois and Clark in this fic, dealing with the baddies of Gotham! I liked Lois and Clark react to each other in evening dress. And it was fun that Lois was sort of acknowledging that Batman is her guardian angel in Gotham who constantly keeps an eye on her much as Superman does in Metropolis, but... I want Lois and Clark to be together, that's all! So why not continue this fic? Maybe there is hope for this Lois and this Clark after all? Please don't tell me that if Lois finds out about Clark's secret right away, then any chance of romance between them is dead? Ann
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,946 Likes: 28
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,946 Likes: 28 |
What cookiesmom said! lol! No, I said you should ask her... and hence I think I'm suggesting maybe you write a sequel. [Razz] Umm...  Michael
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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A sequel would be great, but I just want more LaraMoon fic - wherever the Muse takes you!
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2006
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Please don't tell me that if Lois finds out about Clark's secret right away, then any chance of romance between them is dead? Of course not... she asked for his phone number, didn't she? And she insisted that there was nothing between her and the dark figure hanging around the building on the other side -- she didn't complete her sentence, but she didn't really need to. Besides, these two belong together, no? Then I'm sure they'll find a way. @ IolantheAlias -- aww! *blushes* Thanks! You've just made my day with that. 
Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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WHAT! it doesn't really look like people here enjoyed it so much, Oh, you're so very wrong there! I loved it and want more. So there! I just got around to reading it last night with my life as it is. So if you are in the mood, yes, I would like more. MORE! MORE I say!!!   Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
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Lara, I just read this after taking the AU Kerth quiz. I'm *so* sorry for not commenting on this last year. My reading has been sporadic and my fdk even worse, but let me lay your worries to rest. This was a fantastic story and (along with everyone else) I would *LOVE* to see more in this universe. What impresses me the most is that you wrote such a good AU story *with an a-plot* for a ficathon!  "You can't go back there!" Lois argued, shocked. "What if they see you? They'll kill you!" Aaaannd, it looks like the shock of being rescued by someone without a costume short circuited something. Lois isn't quite firing on all cylinders, is she? Lois was appropriately prickly for S1, while Clark was gratifyingly confident. His choice to play by her rules and then reveal his secret to Lois certainly helped them to get past all that other stuff that kept our favorite couple apart. Oh, and going under cover as husband and wife *never* hurts. "Hey wait," she called, pushing the door open again. "Isn't this the part where you hand me your phone number on a little folded note with 'call me' written on it in nice, big, hopeful print?" My favorite line. Like Sue, I enjoyed the banter between these two, as well as getting a glimpse of Batman lurking outside Lois' apartment. Made me laugh at the parallels between the implied Bruce/Batman/Lois triangle here and Clark lurking outside Lois' apartment window in the Pilot. Lois smiled. "I'll tell you anyway. Besides, I hear it's what
friends do, trade secrets and life stories. I already know most
of yours from Perry, so it's only fair, I guess..." Oh, it looks like Lois has a crush on that Kent guy. Turn-about is fair play. Looks like Perry was match-making again. Loved it that Perry helped Lois get her position at the Gotham newspaper and then kept in contact with her over the years. Lois really needs that father-figure influence in her life. She probably needed to have that steady, loving, supportive male influence in her life to counterbalance all the negative experiences she had with her father, Paul, Claude, etc. I think it's critical to her ability to finally trust someone like Clark. So ... if you're still lurking around the board these days, I hope you'll consider picking this story up someday and finishing it. Would love to see how the Batman/Superman/Lois thing played out. Pretty please with high-tech gadgets on top?  B
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