Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2
#66805 10/17/09 06:16 AM
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 1
Kerth
OP Offline
Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 1
Feedback here.

Thanks everyone! smile

Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,384
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,384
OK, I'm on my way out the door, but I couldn't leave without at least speed-reading through this to see what Lois's reaction was going to be. I loved that she didn't freak out, and that she was able to offer Kal support.

Lovely part. I'll be back later with more feedback.

For now, I'll just say the last line was jawdrop


"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 326
R
Beat Reporter
Offline
Beat Reporter
R
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 326
Wow. I loved it and Lois' reaction. Of course Kal has awoken mad dog lane because she will find proof on who you did that to Kal.

I love the letter reading with proposal and I can't wait to see Kal's reaction.

This part moved the story on very nicely. I hope to see Lois show Kal the fun things kids do and he missed out on.

Kathy
www.chili-everyway.com
Have it your way, every way


robinson
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,968
Likes: 28
Boards Chief Administrator
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Online Content
Boards Chief Administrator
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,968
Likes: 28
Okay, the secret-acceptance wasn't much of a shocker laugh
Quote
He stroked away her tear, loving the cyclic symbolism of responding to the pain she felt on his behalf. Lois smiled, then, with a quick movement, she shuffled forward, swung one leg over his thighs, wrapped her arms around his neck and clasped him into her chest.
Oooooooh, is this just my gutter mind imagining Lois sitting in a very compromising position on Clark's erm Kal's lap, one leg on either side of him?

Quote
“Four days after.”

So Kip paid for his loyalty with his life. “They killed him?”
My thoughts...

Quote
“It wasn’t murder,” Kal said. “He fell from the cliffs on the east side of New Krypton.”

“Fell?” Lois demanded. “Or was pushed?”

“The official investigation returned a verdict of accidental death,” Kal said. “Those cliffs can be treacherous – they are slippery and the waves are extremely powerful.”
Oh Kal... Sweet, naive, innocent Kal... He still needs to grow up, though...

Quote
“They didn’t tell me about the physical contact between a man and his wife,” Kal said dolefully.
Kal!
Quote
Kal nodded. “It was in the Law. In the section about the Supreme Ruler marrying and taking concubines.”
So, *that's* what they're calling the Kryptonian version of nfic.

Quote
He knew. He knew the theory. But the practice ... Lois gulped. She met his eyes and perceived that his thoughts were not dissimilar to hers. Suddenly, she became very conscious of exactly how close was their contact and, her face reddening, she slipped hastily from his lap and back onto the bed.
Yes... And if this were on the dark side, Lois would know that Kal was very aware of it, too. blush

Quote
“Because it was one of the methods used by the South to deal with their criminals.”
Oh...

Quote
“Neither Ked nor his son have ever expressed the ambition to rule New Krypton.”

“Do you think Nor is content being merely a Regal Noble?”

“No.”

“Do you think it is in character for him to merely wait until you die so he or his son can take the mantle?”

“No.”
But he still needs Lois to connect the dots huh

Quote
“It is recorded that when we arrived on New Krypton, nearly sixty percent of the people originated from the North. That figure is now fifty-one percent.”

“So, over twenty-three years, more people from the north have died than people from the south?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Remember the massacre a few days ago?” Kal asked. “Nine people died in total. Six from the north and three from the south.”
[Linked Image]
Fascinating.
Quote
“Can you see through anything else?”

“Like what?”
"Umm... the skin-tight suit I'm sometimes wearing?"

Quote
“Dear Kal,” she said, pretending to read from her letter. “Would you please ask me to marry you again? Because my answer has changed.”
shock shock shock shock shock shock shock No way shock shock shock

Michael, not agreeing with the cut-off point. At all.


Join us on the #loisclark Discord server! We talk about fanfic, our favorite show, life, and more! (It’s almost like the IRC days of old again!)

I go by Michael on the Archives.
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837
Oh, that's just great! And sweet! sloppy
Mad Dog Lane to the rescue! And Kal is invulnerable? That will definitely help.
cool
Artemis


History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 153
Hack from Nowheresville
Offline
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 153
Another wonderful, heartwarming, chapter, with lots of information and background crammed in too. Lots of questions were answered for everyone, though *the* scary topic was only tantalisingly briefly broached.

Quote
“They didn’t *wake* you?” Lois shrieked. “Not for *fifteen* years?” She saw the sting of her words lash across Kal’s face. She captured his hand in both of hers. “They didn’t wake you?” she asked much more gently.
I can just imagine Lois' reaction, it's no wonder she felt she needed to tone it down. Of course, she was outraged on Kal's behalf, but it wasn't exactly what he needed to hear straight after the revelation. She recovered well though.

Quote
“I didn’t have a childhood.”

He said it without a trace of self-pity, but it still gouged a valley through her heart. “Oh, Kal,” she said, as her tears welled. “Oh, Kal.”
mecry Still, in a way I suppose, he wouldn't have had a very happy childhood, without his parents and with the people supposedly looking out for him seeking to betray and mislead him. At least he had Kip to do the right thing, though he paid a terrible price. Lois is aching for him because he missed out on what a lot of earth children, and it seems Tek and Riz's children, have. It is likely it would have been very regimented for him as a young noble, even if he had seen it.

Quote
Kal’s gentle touch dabbed the moisture from her eyes. “Are you all right?” he asked, heavy with concern.
Awww, he's still concerned for her. He really proves himself well in this scene (if he needed to) hence Lois' response at the end!

Quote
It was a statement, but Lois could hear the shadow of his uncertainty. “Yes,” she assured him as her fingers trailed across his cheek. “You have me now.”

He trapped her hand and brought it to his mouth where he dotted it with a row of tender kisses. “Then nothing else matters,” he said.
rotflol

Quote
He knew. He knew the theory. But the practice ... Lois gulped. She met his eyes and perceived that his thoughts were not dissimilar to hers. Suddenly, she became very conscious of exactly how close was their contact and, her face reddening, she slipped hastily from his lap and back onto the bed.
Getting closer! One of these days. Perhaps after their 'marriage!' Much as I want Lois to snap out of her skittishness and fully show Kal how to be a man, I suppose it wasn't the best time, and, of course, there's the not too small matter of possible pregnancy to consider. If they can be patient, so can I!

Michael said:

Quote
Yes... And if this were on the dark side, Lois would know that Kal was very aware of it, too.
I know, my gutter-dwelling mind thought the same thing!

Quote
When she glanced hesitantly to Kal’s face, Lois saw his anxiety had been overshadowed by a relaxed grin. “You can sit on me anytime you want to,” he offered.
laugh At least Kal is back to feeling relaxed, and cheeky flirting is creeping in again.

Quote
“I know so little about the physical contact between a man and the woman he loves,” Kal said. “But I do know I will never do anything you don’t want me to do.”
Kal is showing such understanding of the situation and proving once again the depth of his love.

Quote
Lois chuckled. “If I had been here, I would not have rested until I knew where you were.”
Isn't that the truth!

Quote
“That I believe,” Kal said gravely. “You would always find me.”
Another example of Kal being very serious when you would expect him to be joking around. He can make jokes now though.

Quote
“An unexpected side-effect of the experimentation was that in hiatus, the body became almost indestructible,” Kal said. “As Krypton drew ever closer to obliteration, they believed hiatus was the method that represented my best chance for survival.”
I read this to be only invulnerable when in hiatus, is this correct?!

Quote
“Because now,” Kal said, “I have so many reasons to live. Before, I had only one – to lead my people to unity and peace and prosperity.”
I suppose with no love in his life, having been trained for a particular purpose and hardly ever venturing out into the world, he didn't have much reason to value his life, other than to protect the people he did love - his people as a whole.

Quote
“I believe Nor has no qualms in sacrificing the lives of those from the south if it contributes to balancing the numbers. I believe that once the numbers reach fifty percent, Nor will lead the men of the South into Civil War.”
Kal isn't so naive, he clearly worked that one out pretty much alone. He just needs help to stop it.

Quote
Lois’s heart twisted into an array of knotted apprehension. “What will you do?” she asked of Kal. “Will you lead the men of the north?”
Lois doesn't realise yet just how much help she can be! Not just with her powers, but with her newspaper aswell.

Quote
“No.” Lois felt her tears rising. Suddenly, she wasn’t just the alien, she was the alien with weird abilities.
Hee hee - such a great twist on the familiar scenario! Stands to reason in a way. Up until that point, the only obvious alien signs were her language and mannerisms. Nothing else made her seem different from the Kryptonians.

Quote
“Of course it is,” Kal assured her with a small smile. “You find out I slept through more than half of my life and I find out you can see through doors. What could possibly be the problem?”

Lois laughed. “I love you,” she said.
Its' Kal's turn to soothe, and he does a great job of lightening the moment.

Quote
“Dear Kal,” she said, pretending to read from her letter. “Would you please ask me to marry you again? Because my answer has changed.”
sloppy This was just perfect. At first I was mad at her for not keeping her promise to read it, then I saw what she had said instead!

Loved it!!

Em


"There's a fine line between brilliance and lunacy" - CK to LL(Madame Ex)
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,597
Merriwether
Offline
Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,597
Corrina, if you were from the South and I was from the North and Nor wanted a war ... I'd cross lines and follow you into battle just because of this story. smile1

Come on, part 20. jump

Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 581
A
Columnist
Offline
Columnist
A
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 581
Ah, but suspended animation is all that Kal has been told. I think the "spent time on Earth" theory lives, and there are clues. People in hiatus became "nearly indestructible." (Is Kal?) Also, Kal knew language upon waking, among other things. There is more to this storyline, and I cannot wait to read it!

I am SO glad Lois is on the case, and I'm also relieved that Kal is not as naive as we believed him to be. I love that they are just a step away from partnering up and taking down the bad guys!

Amber
...still in denial that this story is ever going to end!

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Oh I was so happy to see this story up tonight and it didn't disappoint! I love their reaction on both sides of their news. Also the whole Nor thing, I am glad Kal is not as naive as I thought. He knows Nor is bad news and realizes that he is a threat. Now if only Lois can use her Superpowers against him and save new Krypton, that would be great! You have a wonderful way of teasing us with hints of physical and emotional wants and needs on behalf of both characters. It is frustrating and delightful at the same time. I want more! NOW! But I will wait like everyone else. One day I will learn not to read a great story until it is all done so I am not tortured with waiting for the next part<g> it is a good kind of torture though and I can't wait until the next one! More soon. fantastic job. laura


Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”

Caroline's "Stardust"
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627
Quote
“Dear Kal,” she said, pretending to read from her letter. “Would you please ask me to marry you again? Because my answer has changed.”
[Linked Image]
Puddle of goo I am. You covered so many interesting and serious topics with their time together, and still you manage to goo me with the last line.

Great part,
JD


"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
T
TOC Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
T
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Oh, great part! clap (And I loved Michael's Spock picture!) clap So here's my own: Spock

So Kal is nearly indestructible, eh? I, too, have begun suspecting that Kal has been on the Earth, and that he has superpowers. Or maybe he had superpowers when he was fifteen, but they have waned away by now? Maybe that is why Nor couldn't kill him when he was "freshly awoken"?

And Ked woke Kal up right before Nor would have been able to claim the "Supreme Ruler-ship" for himself! And Ked was killed by Nor for thwarting Nor's plans!!! eek

So it's stigmatizing to have been in "hiatus". Guess what - I think that stigma is Nor's doing, too. But Lois doesn't care, and she loves Kal anyway! sloppy sloppy sloppy

And Nor is committing "slow genocide", by creating conflicts that preferentially kill off people from the North!!! eek

And is Kal going to propose again? Good idea, because he may well need Super-Lois to protect him. (Not to mention that they are going to be absolutely adorable together, of course.) sloppy sloppy sloppy

Great part, Corinna!

Ann

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371
Likes: 1
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371
Likes: 1
First, a question... This:
Quote
“An unexpected side-effect of the experimentation was that in hiatus, the body became almost indestructible,”
I read that to mean that during the time in hiatus a person is nearly indestructible. I would think that once out, Kal would be just like any other Kryptonian. Am I reading it correctly? confused

I'm very happy that Kal has an understanding of what Nor is up to. That should help him be ready to act when Mad Dog Lane gets going. thumbsup

I loved Lois's "reading" of the letter. That was so love [Linked Image]

Bob

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194
Likes: 1
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194
Likes: 1
Yeah, what they said. Great part, Corrina. The story is moving along beautifully.

I, too, am glad to see that Kal knows what's what.

The delightful thing that we know but Kal and Lois don't is that Lois is most likely invulnerable, super strong, and can do all those other lovely things that come with the Super package. Just wait till she floats. laugh And if she and Kal can keep her abilities secret, that gives them a strategic advantace over Nor.

I will say it again: Nor is badly mistaken when he thinks that Lois will be a nice distraction for Kal. He has no idea what he is in for when he tries to take on Lois and Kal. Stronger together indeed. Look out, New Krypton!


This *is* my happily ever after.
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,384
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,384
OK, so obviously they did not have the technology to implant the necessary knowledge and skills needed by a 15-yr-old who had been aleep all his life. Which means the memory-erasing is sounding more and more probable. Even Lois wondered at his waking with the ability to walk and speak.

I don't think he could have been raised on Earth, because he would not have known Kryptonian when he woke up, he would have known some Earth-language (English?)

Actually, that brings up a confusion of mine. He said he already had the translator implanted, which is why he understood. But then, what was it translating from and what was it translating to? If he speaks another language, wouldn't he realize that fact? Would Lois?

He couldn't have been raised speaking English, or he would understand Lois without the translators. It seems to me that, with the translator in place, you would never, ever learn another language. You would always speak your native language and always "hear" your native language.

I'm beginning to suspect this is part of the reason you are posting this in parts, Corrina. Are you getting some sort of perverse pleasure from reading all of our cockomany theories? dizzy )


"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 1
Kerth
OP Offline
Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,134
Likes: 1
I'm in an internet cafe in Montreal - I have accessed the internet from sooooo many different places the past few weeks.

Sorry I don't have the time for individual replies - but here are a few points.

Firstly yes ... the body is invulnerable while in hiatus, but once awoken returns to normal.

Thanks though - I'll edit it for the archive and have Lois ask that question to clear up the confusion.

Vicki said

Quote
I'm beginning to suspect this is part of the reason you are posting this in parts, Corrina. Are you getting some sort of perverse pleasure from reading all of our cockomany theories?
Yes and no. I'm certainly enjoying the FDK. Every other story I have posted has been complete before I posted part 1. I also had a pact with myself that I wouldn't make major changes to the plot because of FDK. Call it stubborness!!

But with this fic, I feel so much more like it is a journey ... and a journey with friends. Your FDK *has* influenced the story - not major plots, but little details here and there. I have fed off your ideas and I believe the story has more layers because of the amazing contribution of the people kind enough to leave comments.

A question - Some of you expressed the opinion that Lois should not marry Kal while he was still married to Za (an understandable opinion). I think it is fairly obvious that she is about to agree to marry him. Did the reasoning work for you? Even if you don't like the idea of a man having multiple wives, did it seem understandable in this context?

Just wondering ... thanks.

RE - progress. My daughter and son went out together yesterday, so I had a day to myself. Part 22 is written and I just (this minute) received 21 back from Iolanthe (thanks smile ). I'll do a final edit of 20 and post it - either Monday or Tuesday.

Thanks to everyone who left FDK. clap

Corrina

Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823
Hey - we're online together! And I must say that I've been beta-ing, but the amount of FDK and the theories advanced and the tiny little possibly significant things noticed....well, let's just say that those are *almost* as rewarding as reading the story!

Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,384
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,384
About Lois marrying Kal. Here's the thing. I completely understand Lois's decision. In fact, given the circumstances, I'm almost surprised she held out as long as she did. And I can totally understand why this marriage is, in so many ways, not the same as a polygamous marriage on Earth, as well as understanding why Kal cannot divorce.

That said, I don't like it. Firstly, because I keep thinking about Za. She is a living, breathing, thinking, feeling person. (Well, technically, she's just a character in a piece of fiction, but you know what I mean.) I do not like the fact that Za is off living who-knows-where, with no hope of ever finding love or companionship, or even (apparently) having children. She has basically been shut away, consigned to live a life of enforced virginity. Kal gets to marry his true love, but what about Za? Shouldn't Kal at least *consult* with Za about his decision to take another wife? Shouldn't he be scouring the law books to see if there is hope for her to live a fulfilling life, too?

Also, what about the children? Will Za ever have children? If she does, will Kal treat them the same as his children by Lois? I'll admit I'm very wary of this multiple marriage thing, unless a lot of details that they don't seem to have even considered get worked out. But, to answer your question, yes, Lois's decision is understandable and in-character.

I have to admit, though, that I'm still holding out for the "Za and Ching marry and rule New Krypton, while Kal and Lois fly back to Earth" happy ending.


"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,597
Merriwether
Offline
Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,597
Quote
A question - Some of you expressed the opinion that Lois should not marry Kal while he was still married to Za (an understandable opinion). I think it is fairly obvious that she is about to agree to marry him. Did the reasoning work for you? Even if you don't like the idea of a man having multiple wives, did it seem understandable in this context?
While I completely understand Lois's hesitancy in becoming Kal's second wife, I've thought from the beginning that once she learns about the culture of the planet and Kal's relationship (or lack thereof) with Za, she would come to accept that this is their only real alternative.

Would it be better if Kal is able to divorce Za without any harm coming to her, or even better still, in a way that allows her to marry someone else of her choosing? Absolutely. And I wouldn't be at all surprised if Kal eventually works towards that conclusion. But given that the culture of this planet is that the Supreme Ruler does not live with or even have sex with his birthwife *and* that they will be better able to protect each other (emotionally and physically) by getting married, I think that Lois could/should put aside her own cultural biases and create the life both she and Kal want.

As for any children Kal and Za would eventually have, I don't automatically assume that Lois would find this intolerable. If it were me in Lois's situation, I might even encourage Kal to bring Za and her children into the compound so that he could be a part of the children's lives. After all, given what they suspect about Nor's plans, and that these children would eventually rule the planet, would it be in anyone's best interest to let them live where Kal has limited influence over how they are raised?

Obviously Lois would need to believe that she and Kal are on the same page as far as what their promises are to each other -- e.g., that he remain sexually faithful to her, even if he continues to provide monthly samples that could be used to inseminate Za -- but given the facts of the situation, I've never seen Kal's marriage to Za as a permanent deal-breaker.

Kathy smile

Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,384
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,384
Regarding kids. It's not only whether or not Lois will accept Za's kids. It's whether, subconciously, Kal will treat them differently. (I'm thinking here along the line of Joseph and his brothers.) Or even, human nature being what it is, whether the kids themselves will exhibit rivalry. "My mother is the *official* wife, and I'm going to be Supreme Ruler one day!" "Oh, yeah, well, *my* mother is the one Dad *chose* and she's the one he loves!"

I suppose it *could* all work out hunky-dory with everyone living together as one big happy extended family. But, in real life, there are just, in my mind, too many ways this could turn out bad.

But, like I said, we, the readers, can certainly understand why Lois has made the decision to marry Kal. (I half-think, given the chance, *I'd* marry him!)


"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 153
Hack from Nowheresville
Offline
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 153
Quote
A question - Some of you expressed the opinion that Lois should not marry Kal while he was still married to Za (an understandable opinion). I think it is fairly obvious that she is about to agree to marry him. Did the reasoning work for you? Even if you don't like the idea of a man having multiple wives, did it seem understandable in this context?
Short answer (am I capable of one of those?!) laugh - Yes definitely. Lois has to forget what she knows of marriage etc if she wants to be happy in this new world. Kal has done an excellent job, especially with the language barriers and his lack of life experience, to prove his devotion to her, and she knows she's never felt about anyone the way she feels about him.

She had her reservations - and they were understandable too. I think you've shown the progression of their relationship and her feelings on the subject of marriage really well.

I wish, as Lois does, that she could be Kal's one and only wife, and I still hope that they will find a way to make this happen eventually. It certainly seems that the two of them are going to have huge influence on the future peace and prosperity of New Krypton, and with that, once Nor has been dealt with, they may be able to change the laws a little with the people (including Za) accepting this. It is unlikely Za is happy with the marriage either and it seems she is so far unaware of the manipulation of Kal. I can't see Kal and Lois just getting married and forgetting Za. They are likely to eventually want to speak to her and find a way for her to be happy also.

I hate the idea of Za having Kal's children. Even though it would be hard for Lois to object, and I'm sure she would still love Kal, it is, as mentioned above, a situation that would be fraught with problems and would probably cause a lot of hurt. It seems very unlikely that they would live as one family. Much as Lois wants to be with Kal, and has accepted his proposal, I still can't see her stopping there and being a dutiful concubine/wife. She will want to play a greater role, as far as it is possible for her to. She isn't the type of person (new planet or not) to accept such an imperfect situation. After all, Za would be without love, it would be very unfair on her alongside everything else.

Going back to the short answer - yes, it makes perfect sense, and it was a very natural time for her to accept after they had both made their revelations.

Em

Oh, and Vicki, I would marry him too!!!


"There's a fine line between brilliance and lunacy" - CK to LL(Madame Ex)
Page 1 of 2 1 2

Moderated by  Kaylle, SuperBek 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5