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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3 |
I'd like to thank DSDragon and Iolanthealias for bravely volunteering to beta this story. Their reactions were similar to the ones I anticipate receiving from the rest of y'all. Hope you can make it through all three chapters.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 377
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 377 |
if you promise a happy ending, i will be ok, otherwise.... wow - very intriguing and I'm scared to think of what will be coming next, but i'm definitely looking forward to the next part!
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Posts: 1,194 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194 Likes: 1 |
That sounds ominous, Terry. Do you mean 'make it through the really painful part so you can get to the brilliant and hopeful resolution that I'm going to pull out of a hat,' or 'make it through three chapters of torturing Clark and creating a Lois that nobody likes any more because suffering is good for the soul'?
Drama or tragedy?
The fact that she's still so snarky a year later doesn't bode well, but you must have started there for a reason. So maybe she'll get better. Doesn't look good so far, though. Ouch!
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3 |
Feedback already! Woo-hoo!
Sorry, Sarahg. I promise only to finish the story. No other warranties either expressed or implied.
Happygirl, I'm not sure that "snarky" does Lois justice at this point. RAFO what happens next.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 76
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 76 |
Wow, this is scary. So you say 3 parts? Well, I hope you can get to a happy ending. (please) Except at the Daily Planet’s table. Clark, Perry, Alice, Jimmy, and Lucy all applauded, but without much enthusiasm, and none of them laughed. um, without much enthusiam? what have I missed? “You idiot! Would I ask you a question like that if I already knew the answer?”
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 515
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 515 |
Intriguing...it's Lois, but as a third rate jerk. I wonder where in the brain "decent person" resides and what happened to it when Lois got turned into a popsicle. Perhaps more importantly, I wonder how you go about defrosting that particular part of the mind.
And if she's this much of a jerk, hasn't her reporting suffered?
Like Clark, I'm waiting--not so patiently--to see how (not 'if?,' 'how!') you fix Lois.
Rac
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Joined: Jan 2007
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,069 |
Tania said: They said short term memory loss - this is like she's forgotten everything that Clark is to her, and is treating him like right in the very beginning. Unlike Tania, this doesn't look like a short-term memory problem to me. It sounds more like Lois needs an exorcism. In the pilot, Lois was terse, demanding, overbearing, pig-headed... but she had a tender side (as evidenced by her reaction to Clark's theater piece or Platt's death), and one fraught with insecurities (as shown by her tears and confession in the EPRAD warehouse); she didn't ever come across *this* way to me. Hope you can make it through all three chapters. Well, if this is what Lois is like for the next year, I'm not sure I want to. I'll probably finish reading, Terry, but I just have to say, from what I've seen of Lois so far, she's not one that I can sympathize with at all.
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,065 Likes: 30
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,065 Likes: 30 |
Nice. Evil. And no dead Lois. Just a bitch But the opening scene with the Kerths reminded me a lot of Cat. Lois is also the reigning gossip columnist. Didn't know they had Kerths for that Anyhow, she struck me as a cross between Lois and Cat so how does Lois the bitch turn into Lois the cat? And how does it relate to short-term memory loss? Terry, are you going to post daily? Please? Pretty please? Michael PS: Yes, I do like my Lois on the nasty side. Sometimes
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 326
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 326 |
Intriguing, delightful and sad. I am anxiously looking forward to seeing where you take this. Not sure if this will have a happy ending. I hope the toys are put up nicely. Please! Kathy www.chili-everyway.com
robinson
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3 |
Okay, that's about what I expected. Before I post the next chapter, let me respond to the feedback. Gamesaway, there's a medical explanation in the next chapter. Hope it answers your concerns. Rac, thanks so much for reading and commenting. Third rate jerk? Not bad. I don't know where one's personality resides in that dense mass of jelly inside the cranium either. We'll see what happens. BJ, I can't promise anything except to post the other two chapters. Does Lois come around? We'll see. And an exorcism? Might not be a bad idea. Michael, I'll post the third part either Monday or Tuesday. And I'm glad you like this portrayal of Lois sometimes. Kathy, this story popped into my head and all but demanded to be told. I don't know why. Unfortunately, I can't promise that the toys will all be in perfect shape at the end. Next chapter up soon!
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823 |
I must officially be quiet because I beta'd. Just to let everyone know:
Good story!
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