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Hack from Nowheresville
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OP
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 279 |
I wrote this from Lois's pov, and I'm not always on the same page as Lois, so if anyone has any critiques on her thought processes, please do let me know.
Bethy
I don't suffer from insanity...I enjoy every minute of it.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Wow, Bethy! First, I was literally gobsmacked at the dedication! Thank you so much! And anytime, re.the help for French. I only did very little, because you're pretty much fluent! I keep telling you; I'm very impressed at your handling of my very complicated and illogical language.  Now, on to the story... BaTP!  The only problem that I can see is... WHERE IS PART 2???????  Awesome so far, Bethy! Can't wait for more! Kaethel (still blushing from Bethy's words  )
- I'm your partner. I'm your friend.
- Is that what we are?
- Oh, you know what? I don't know what we are. We kiss and then we never talk about it. We nearly die frozen in each other's arms, but we never talk about it, so no, I got no clue what we are.
~ Rick Castle and Kate Beckett ~ Knockout ~
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Bethy, I don't think you need to be worried at all about Lois's thought process. I think you have it down perfectly  . I loved the part with Perry and his fake made up Elvis story. This line: One of these days she was going to realize that most of the Elvis stories he told were made up on the spot. is absolutely priceless. - Laura 
Laura "The Yellow Dart" U. (Alicia U. on the archive)
"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." -- Christopher Reeve
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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I love it, I love it!!!  And then you had Perry admit to himself that he'd made it up!!! LOL!  Loving this! Want more! Part 2 NOW!! Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Aww, Bethy, I love it <g> I'm glad Perry's made it clear to her that she didn't *lie* to Lex. Miscommunications are much easier to wiggle out of  And what a cool twist on the episode, that she took the ring before taking time to think about it! Very witty, and I loved Perry's Elvis story -- I was suspicious of it even before he admitted he'd made it up, but how funny! Now I need to see part two!! PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Columnist
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Columnist
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I thought this was fantastic. Very well done!
I'm looking forward to part 2.
Irene
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Bethy,
I have to totally agree -- Lois is perfect. And I, too, love Perry's revelation to us about the made up Elvis story. It was wonderful.
Barb.
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
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Bethy,
great job
ditto others
can't wait for next part
merry
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Hi, Great piece. 
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Bethy WOW! A wonderful part! Perry's Elvis story is great. LOL! I love this and look forward to reading the next part. Please post it soon. Tricia 
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Kerth
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Kerth
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Yay!!! 
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Finally found the time to read this, Bethy. It's a great start. Clever idea with the ring. The story just misses one thing: Where is part two??? You promised it today, and I'd really love to read it ASAP. Saskia
I tawt I taw a puddy cat!
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Hack from Nowheresville
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OP
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 279 |
Eep! I've got crazy dudes with spears and axes chasing me wherever I go! I guess that means it's time to post part two. But first, thanks to Kaethel, Laura, Wendy, Pam, Irene, Barb, Merry, Maria, Tricia, Jose and Saskia for your wonderful comments. I'm glad you guys liked Perry's made-up Elvis story , and I'm very happy that you think Lois is in character. Yay! Part two coming up! Bethy
I don't suffer from insanity...I enjoy every minute of it.
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
I'm late to the party again, so, yeah, what they all said. I thought Lois was wonderfully in character, loved her problems with the ring, Perry's Elvis moment, and the thread of laugh out loud humour throughout. And, yes - Kae is superb too. <g> LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Posts: 3,663 Likes: 10 |
Bethy
I know this is twenty years later, but I really enjoyed this story! The funny parts about the ring getting caught on everything[b][/b] really made me laugh. Those five locks on Lois' front door. I sometimes forget they are there. What a cute backstory about her being domestic and that was the one time the locks failed. LOL! Yup. Total Miss Lane.
I recently wrote that because Lois did not have female friends who would she talk to in a crisis? I put in Molly Flynn. In this fic she goes to Perry, which is exactly what I wrote she shouldn't do! Boy, was a wrong!
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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