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Kerth
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“Because of the seriousness of this lawsuit, Judge Jamerson has encouraged me to discontinue the Daily Planet until this case is over.”
I think you need find another reason to close the Planet.

It is really hard to get past something like this and establish the suspension of disbelief needed to enjoy your tale.

I'm not sure where you are going but if you want to explore L&C without the Planet perhaps you could do an AU where it didn't open again at the end of first season?


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There's obviously something weird going on - the reference to the New Reich makes me think it's one of Tempus's alternate world scams: a Nazi newspaper or something?

Later: Sorry, I was forgetting the frozen Nazi thing.


Marcus L. Rowland
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Well, there is something weird going on. More on that later.

But I am having a hard time with the whole "suspension of disbelief" issue." It's one of my main worries in this story - that the whole concept sounds too far out.

Depending on how many people think that, I may have to change some things.

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My first thought was that Stern was in on the plan for the lawsuit and this was a way for him to make money on the Planet.

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Originally posted by Sara K M:
But I am having a hard time with the whole "suspension of disbelief" issue." It's one of my main worries in this story - that the whole concept sounds too far out.
So clearly it is important to the tale. In that case perhaps you can have the characters, Lois, Clark, and a couple of the business reporters discuss how odd it all is. They could point out all the reasons it does not make sense to close the Planet. Perhaps you could have Lois float CP33's idea.
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Originally posted by cp33:
My first thought was that Stern was in on the plan for the lawsuit and this was a way for him to make money on the Planet.
Having even the characters notice something can sometimes defuse the problem.

It's like saying to the reader, Yes I know this does not make sense but hang in there all will be revealed.


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It is mentioned in the first section by Lois. That's one of the things that launches the investigation.

this is discussed with the new source "Dave' in the next section.

It is also discussed by Perry as the rest try to find articles about Spin Mini - Mart.

But, I can make a bigger deal out of it in the first sectionn if you think it would help.

As far as what Cp3 said (I think that's the name, forgive me if I'm wrong), that's on the right track, and they will figure that out eventually.

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Sarah, I'm glad you took my advice to start posting. I just received part 3 from you, so I'll get that back to you ASAP.

Don't worry about changing things right now, you explained to me that it needs to be a flimsy excuse, so everyone else can just wait and see.

Now that others are seeing this, you can get more than my feedback; perhaps you 'might' want to take some advice from here and change future events to answer questions asked here.

Don't feel you have to explain too much in the feedback, people are just anxious to see what happens next. They'll just have to be patient!

Desiree


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I like this story. I also thought Stern might be involved.


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Originally posted by smileyd:
Don't feel you have to explain too much in the feedback,
Very true point. Please don't let people like me stop you or push you off track.


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I don't want to discourage the author, either, but I'd like to suggest that she do some basic research into how civil litigation, specifically defamation lawsuits, proceed.

Because with what you have now, there would have to be a vast conspiracy including Mr. Stern, the Judge, the DP's lawyers, the Clerk of the Court, and a number of other parties besides the mini-mart people; otherwise Lois and Clark and Perry and etc. would be able to see the Complaint (lawsuit) that was filed, which would have to contain an explanation of exactly what, when, where, and how the DP defamed the mini-mart (issue #, article, why it isn't true and how it damaged their business), and precisely how they arrived at $300,000,000 as the amount of lost business and any other monetary damages they suffered as a result of this article.

Maybe that is where you're going. But I'd also like to suggest that Perry White, as an experienced newspaper editor, would *have* to know all of this already, and it would be very surprising if Lois and Clark didn't also.

It just doesn't work for me. But I'm suspending judgment. Maybe you can make it work. I don't know what's coming down the line. It's a nice idea to strand the characters away from the DP resources, with only their own research skills to rely on; I'm just not sure this way of getting there really works.

Good luck with it. smile


Peace, Carolyn

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