Oh wow, Sonia, you know how to touch me so deeply, don't you?
Way back when, back in 1969, I read this comic book story where Superman proposed to Lois Lane. He then took back his proposal for reasons that seemed acceptable, but he promised that he would propose to her for real one day and marry her, too. I was fourteen years old, and I was ecstatic that he had proposed to Lois. All right, I was disappointed that he had taken his proposal back, but I believed him when he said that he would propose for real one day. Not only did I believe him - Superman stands for truth and justice, after all! - but I believed that he would keep his promise to Lois
soon. Surely he would propose again soon! And surely they would get married after that!
Well, don't get me started about the years of "Superman and Lois frustration" that followed. It soon became clear Superman didn't have any immediate plans of marrying Lois
at all. It also became clear that it was Superman who called all the shots in the 'relationship', such as it was, between him and Lois. It was up to him to propose if he wanted to, and it was up to him to take back his proposal if he wanted to, too. And when the proposal and wedding remained non-events, it was because Superman made them so.
As I grew older, Superman's smug self-control started to irritate me more and more. This man liked to have Lois at his beck and call, but he sure didn't love her, and he didn't really desire her, either. I so wanted to rip his self-control off of him. I wanted him to suddenly be overcome with passion and kiss her - and then I wanted him to do more than that. And when he had kissed her, and more than kissed her, I wanted him to acknowledge to himself and to Lois that he never wanted to lose her after this.
In Superman II, Superman made love to Lois. And then he changed his mind about the whole togetherness thing and invaded Lois's mind and stole her memory of what had transpired between them. Then I started fantasizing about Lois getting pregnant as a result of their lovemaking and getting a child as proof of what Superman had done, so that he at least would have to admit and acknowledge it.
And, wow! Just look at your story, Sonia! Here Clark is the standoffish and seemingly cold person, whereas Lois is warm and loving. A child plays a hugely important part in bringing Lois and Clark together (and also in threatening their togetherness, that's true). Lois realizes that she loves Clark, whereas Clark insists that he doesn't, and won't, love Lois. But his defences are brought down and he makes passionate love to her. Then in the morning he lacks the words he needs to explain to her how much she means to him, and how much he loves her. But for all of that, this Clark won't steal Lois's memories of their intimacy, and I'm almost certain that he will confess his love for her before this fic is over.
Anyway, do you understand now how incredibly strongly your fic speaks to me? How it moves me and speaks to different versions and levels of me - younger and younger Anns respond to various aspects of this fic. You strike all those different chords in me and play me like a violin, do you know that, Sonia?
So, did I love it or did I love it that the two of them were carried away - so totally, asolutely carried away - and made love? Wow. This kind of lovemaking is, to me, absolutely incomparably sexy and irresistible. It sure beats the heck out of a wedding night, when two persons have known for perhaps months in advance that they will make love on this night. I loved, loved, loved Clark's thoughts about what had happened the following morning:
Clark remained as still as possible, not wanting to break the spell that had descended upon the room.
In the midst of all the swirling debris that was going on in his life, this moment - this space that they had carved out – was the calm in the eye of the storm. As he gazed down upon the woman lying next to him, he relished in the feel of her skin against his… in the way their legs naturally tangled together, the way she had one arm tossed carelessly above her head, and in the way her lips were slightly parted while she breathed deeply and calmly in slumber.
It was amazing how in their nakedness, no words had to be spoken, and yet in their nakedness, he was as honest with her as he had ever been with anyone in his whole life. He was exposed, vulnerable, stripped bare before her… and yet unafraid.
If he could wake up with that feeling every morning, his world would no longer be titled on its axis. He could almost imagine the dazed look she would give him as her sleep-ridden eyelids fluttered open. He could almost hear the soft sound of little feet as they padded down the hallway into the master bedroom carrying a little boy demanding breakfast.
Beautiful. Oh, so, so beautiful.
Unfortunately, Clark wasn't able to voice his feelings to Lois that morning. I so, so, so hope that he will be able to do so before this fic is over.
An older, more cynical version of me appreciated this, too:
He was no stranger to mornings after. He was not proud of it, but there was a time during his travels when he'd been detached enough to experiment – safely. He'd learned that intimacy was not fulfilling without emotion, so that phase had ended rather quickly.
This Clark is not a virgin, and I'm so ready to believe that he is not. Did you see Superman III, where Superman was affected by, I think, red kryptonite and started having sex with a lot of women? And I so distinctly remember a comic book from circa 1987 where it was made abundantly clear that Superman was brainwashed and had sex with a female villain. And comic book Superman always had those other girlfriends apart from Lois - Lana Lang, Lori Lemaris and Wonder Woman, and I remember another woman altogether who Superman met, fell head over heels in love with and proposed to in the comics in the 1960s. Him a virgin? I don't think so.
Yes, I know, I know, there is no way I can protest when the continuity of LnC insists that Clark is a very, very, very patient man... it's just that some parts of me refuses to fully believe it. And that is why all those Anns who read about and watched Superman's sowing of his wild oats will nod sagely when they are told that Clark didn't wait for his wedding night before he lost his virginity. All those Anns inside me simply find it easy to believe that.
Anyway, all the Anns inside me who have yearned for Superman to sort of break down in front of Lois and lose control of himself and just make love to her
loved the way Lois and Clark's relationship seemed to take a moon-landing kind of giant leap when they finally became joined, body and soul. But these Anns also insist that Lois and Clark absolutely need to affirm and confirm their commitment to each other, so that the whole thing isn't turned into a one-night-stand.
Other things in this part were also so incredibly moving. Everything that had to do with Jory's illness and deterioration was sort of breathlessly tense. Please save that little boy and let him grow up with Lois and Clark, Sonia!
Ann
. 
. And Clark saying he isn't going home without him. *sniffle* I'm glad Lois was able to stay with him when Clark couldn't.
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