|
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,059 Likes: 30
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
OP
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,059 Likes: 30 |
Hi Beth I got it (Lois) after "she happily burst in and took over". It was just a question of where and how. Ingenious. Lois playing mother hen. Our intrepid reporter is becoming the perfect cross between her former self and a certain Kansas farm wife. And Kaylie in full panic mode, Clark style. That boy is so lucky she never had any reason to investigate him. Until ATAI, that is... And all the little twitches and signs on both sides. I wonder if Kaylie is going to tell Jor about her encounter with that nosy reporter. Now that would be fun. "Jor, your father has always been a good friend of Lois Lane, hasn't he? Could you ask him to try to get her to back off? See I have this secret I meant to tell you about for some time now. - No, Silly, I'm not pregnant. - And now it looks like that she is looking right into it. And if she finds out and were to write an expose, well, it would be catastrophe." And so on. Perfect stage for coming clean. And of course, Jor would have to decide between being mad at Kaylie, mad at his mother, and having a laughing fit.
Really can't wait for part 11 now. You are very mean, posting such short pieces of brilliance.
Michael
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764 |
This was wonderful!
It was a bit... odd? Not quite the right word... different? to see 'present day' not being written from Kaylie's perspective - I think that's the first time you've done that.
I enjoyed the little meeting between the women in the lives of our two superheroes. Knowing what we know on both sides made it all the more interesting!
Too short! More soon! Carol
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 81
Freelance Reporter
|
Freelance Reporter
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 81 |
yaaaay new honesty!! i have to say that i loved this part so much. just how you described their connection.. ok i'm gonna have to stop because if i start i won't be able to stop.. keep up the good work ;Pp
Sarah,
Tempus: You want to know the future, Miss Lane? No one works, no one argues, there are 9,000 channels and nothing on!
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,011 Likes: 5
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,011 Likes: 5 |
Well, if it isn't more Honesty! Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to me! My day's been decidedly blah - post Chritmas slump or whatever - but you've just brightened it up very nicely for me Beth. Good old Lois being Lois. And Clark calling her 'honey'. Have I ever mentioned how much that particular name annoys me? All that 'honey'ing in season 4? Urgh! Couldn't bear it. Not your fault I know, but I couldn't let you get away with a perfect score now, could I?
When Life Gives You Green Velvet Curtains, Make a Green Velvet Dress.
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3 |
This line was funny! COL! Maybe start leaving copies of “Weaponry and Ammunitions Weekly” lying around my apartment and mention in passing that Kim Possible was my childhood hero? When Kaylie pulls the trigger on the decision (pun intended) to come clean with him, Jon will be hard-pressed to understand and even harder-pressed to reveal his own secret identity. And when he finds out that his mommy was checking up on his girlfriend, he's going to go after Ellie because who else could have identified Kaylie to her? He won't be kidding around then! You also have a great opportunity for some mis-communication and some misunderstandings and some really great excuses ("I'm sorry to leave so abruptly, but I just remembered I have to print out and mail my final grades to the office. The principal's e-mail is down.") for Kaylie. It's been a fun ride so far, and I anticipate it getting better next time, too! Oh, COL is net-speak for "chuckled out loud." I just made it up. I'm trying to introduce some new acronyms to confuse the newbies.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 700
Columnist
|
Columnist
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 700 |
Wow, it's awesome to get so much fdk so soon after I posted! thanks guys! Michael I got it (Lois) after "she happily burst in and took over". Yes, that does sound like Lois, doesn't it? I'm not kidding when I said she took over. It's like she demanded to be written. You are very mean, posting such short pieces of brilliance I'm going to take that as a compliment. Thanks! Carol: It was a bit... odd? Not quite the right word... different? to see 'present day' not being written from Kaylie's perspective - I think that's the first time you've done that. This isn't the first time. Jon had a guest 'present time' narrative slot somewhere near the beginning before he and Kaylie were dating. I've tried to stick to having just Kaylie as the narrator, but there are parts where it would be extremely limiting to see things only from her point of view, especially when there are so many secrets floating about. You know how I said that Lois took over this chapter? Here is a perfect example. It started out with the scene between Lois and Kaylie in the classroom. But then I thought that Lois' perspective needed to be shown after so everyone would know that she was there to ask about Jon, and that she stumbled upon Kaylie's other secret through Kaylie's reactions to being questioned. So that was the endin scene. Then when it came to writing Jon's flashback, Lois once again featured. In the future of this story, I can see maybe a couple more times when the narrative will switch, but it should be easy to catch on because it won't be marked as a flashback and it will be narrated in 3rd person. I like seeing the world through Kaylie's eyes, but sometimes her sight is a little limited. Mishmishat: i have to say that i loved this part so much. just how you described their connection.. ok i'm gonna have to stop because if i start i won't be able to stop.. I have nothing against long rambling posts telling me how good my writing is. Just kidding. I'm glad you liked it. gr8shades, will you ever cut me some slack?! If I didn't know better, I would think this is all a clever ploy to get me to email you my chapters before I post them, thereby granting you perpetual Honesty exclusives. But your clever tactics do nothing for me! I've seen through your plan! Bwahaha! Anyway, do you want to know what bothers me the most about S4? It's those robes they wear before going to bed. And the coordinated devesting of them! (The example I remember the most is in Lethal Weapon I think) I know it's crazy, but everytime Lois or Clark appears in a robe I growl at the screen. I don't remember any robe wearing before the marriage by either member, so why do they have the sudden need to wear robes wherever they go before bed. I can't fathom it! But back to the feedback. I'm glad I could brighten your day gr8shades. And Happy Birthday! Terry, be careful with new acronyms! I'm still pretty much a newbie myself! I have to confess I'm terrible at acronyms. I just kind of read around them to get a general idea of what the word might stand for. Thanks for your comments! One thing though: I don't think Ellie is to blame for leading Lois to Kaylie. The Kents know Kaylie works at Riverview because Jon went to speak there. And they know at least her first name. Lois could figure out the rest by herself. Thanks everyone for leaving comments!
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764 |
Er yeah and I think I said that before too didn't I?
And Lois wears at least two robes I can think of [one being light blue with moon/stars IIRC] in S1/2. Carol
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,445
Kerth
|
Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,445 |
Liked that a lot - looking forward to more.
Marcus L. Rowland Forgotten Futures, The Scientific Romance Role Playing Game
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883
Merriwether
|
Merriwether
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883 |
Beth, this part deserves a lot more comment (as did part 9) but unfortunately all I have the chance to say is that I'm still reading and still enjoying!
Lisa
lisa in the sky with diamonds
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,011 Likes: 5
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,011 Likes: 5 |
will you ever cut me some slack?! NO! (esp if I'm not getting a preview) I can't say I ever noticed the robe thing. I've sometimes found some of Lois sexy nightwear to be a bit unrealistic. I mean, do women actually wear that sort of thing to bed other than when they expect it to be taken off? (can't say I ever have!) What happened to hubby's comfy old faded t-shirt? As for the honeying, if I am ever bored beyond what I can bear - and I have quite a capacity for it - I intend to watch Dead Lois Walking and count the number of times Clark calls her that infernal word. I am getting crabby in my old age!
When Life Gives You Green Velvet Curtains, Make a Green Velvet Dress.
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 700
Columnist
|
Columnist
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 700 |
And Lois wears at least two robes I can think of [one being light blue with moon/stars IIRC] in S1/2. Huh. I haven't noticed that. I don't know why it bothers me so much in S4, but it does for some reason. Marcus, I didn't know you were reading this. I think this is the first time you left fdk, isn't it? Thank you! Thanks Lisa for letting me know your still out there! I'm glad your still reading the story even if you don't have time for extensive feedback. gr8shades: As for the honeying, if I am ever bored beyond what I can bear - and I have quite a capacity for it - I intend to watch Dead Lois Walking and count the number of times Clark calls her that infernal word. Um... I hope you have fun...? I do have to agree with you on Lois' sleepwear. I remember seeing her in stuff that looks more like a ballgown than a nightie. Which further emphasizes my problem. Why would you wear ballgowns when you're not married and then switch to frumpy robes when you are? Okay, I'm going to stop my sleepwear induced rambling before everyone on the boards certifies me insane.
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 367
Beat Reporter
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 367 |
I was going to go through and leave fdk for every part until I caught up ... but that idea kinda died!! This was brilliant, there's so much room for misunderstandings now, although I was sort of hoping that Lois was there to investigate Kaylie, mainly so we could see the conversation with Jon: "Son, why is the woman I'm doing a story on wearing your sonic watch...?" But I think the way you've done it'll work much better. - Alisha (who's going to look for her muse as she hasn't been seen for a couple of days and is worried that's she's run away when she still has lots of work to do...)
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
Fun, fun, fun... Kaylie's right, Ms. Lane knows something's up, it's just not what she fears! I loved the line of questioning about being careful what you say and never letting secrets slip. Nice bit of understanding, too, here: What I saw in her eyes next scared me more than anything else. Understanding. Like she knew exactly how it felt to have to share the one you love with the world. To be left stranded in the middle of a date after a quick kiss and a mumbled explanation. To feel the absence of the one you love so strongly that you have to resort to wearing ugly, banged up jewelry to remind yourself that he still loves you even though he can’t be with you. How did she know? Reporter’s intuition only went so far. Didn’t it? She cleared her throat, and the moment thankfully passed. You'll find out eventually, Kaylie! PJ who is back from Christmas vacation and only took a break from unpacking because she wanted to see if there was a new part up for Honesty...
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed. He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement." "You can say that again," she told him. "I have a...." "Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 921
Features Writer
|
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 921 |
Yay, Beth! So glad to see this up.
There is just so much I love about this chapter, it's great to see that others feel the same way.
Lois is spot on in this - both her mother hen act (which is what I'd expect from Lois even though I never saw her as a mother) and the brilliant reporter bit in picking up Kaylie's secret.
I so hope Kaylie comes clean before Lois tells Jon that she is keeping something from him. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the fact that Lois' reporter skills also picked up on the fact that Kaylie loves Jon means she'll give her a little time to explain.
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627 |
Sweet! I was able to catch up with parts 9 and 10 tonight. Both were fabulous! Knowing all the characters in the story, it was a real eyebrow-raiser to watch Lois 'interview' Kaylie, knowing that Kaylie is unknowingly meeting the mom heh. Looking forward to seeing where this goes next!
JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 700
Columnist
|
Columnist
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 700 |
Alisha, thanks for giving me more fdk! It just goes to show what a little nagging can do, huh? How's the hunt for your muse going? Will we get more Specimen soon? PJ: who is back from Christmas vacation and only took a break from unpacking because she wanted to see if there was a new part up for Honesty... Aww, thanks! I always hate unpacking. Somehow it's twice as boring as packing is. anonpip: There is just so much I love about this chapter, it's great to see that others feel the same way Thank you! When I plan a story, I tend to start by imagining different circumstances, interactions etc between the characters that I would like to happen. Then it's just a matter of linking those scenes together and filling in the plot around them. The idea of Lois interviewing Kaylie had been a pet idea of mine ever since I started planning this story in my head months ago. I'm glad people liked the idea as much as I did. JD, thanks for leaving feedback! Knowing all the characters in the story, it was a real eyebrow-raiser to watch Lois 'interview' Kaylie, knowing that Kaylie is unknowingly meeting the mom heh. It was a lot of fun to write too! All the double meanings that Lois was using to be subtle, but that Kaylie took to mean something else entirely.
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,011 Likes: 5
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,011 Likes: 5 |
Total aside: Am sitting through the tailend of Titanic and all the 'Jack'ing in this movie is even worse than all that 'honey'ing in LnC. I think Kate Winslet's script must have consisted more of that word than any other. 'Sadly', I didn't have the presence of mind to count from the beginning the number of times she said it, but it must be in the hundreds! (still no word on the honey count ) Just had to share that with everyone. Feel free to ignore! :rolleyes: Edit: Thanks dcarson. Only 80?! I am aghast! I think Lummie got bored towards the end and just gave up counting. (Was thinking last night, there was an annoying amount of 'Jack'ing in Speed too.)
When Life Gives You Green Velvet Curtains, Make a Green Velvet Dress.
|
|
|
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 492
Beat Reporter
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 492 |
A bit of googling and. How many times were the names Jack and Rose said during the film? [According to IMDB's trivia section, Rose says Jack's name 80 times, whilst Jack says Rose's name 50 times.] Answered by Lummie
|
|
|
|