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Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 910 |
Simply lovely--downright beautiful! I found the attention paid to detail was extremely effective. It was teeming with atmosphere indeed--I could really see the swamp. Also I like the novelty of the Jimmy POV, since we don't see him that often as well as the portrait of his relationship to our heroes. It ended up being really heartwarming, but more than that, it showed a depth of friendship that is not usually focused on. Love how the title relates to all that the fic covered, it really made me stop and think. Marvelous! I want to come back and comment more! ETA: So I'm back with more this one was kind of handsome in his reptilian way. It was about fifteen feet long, black as coal and looked indestructible. And it was less than ten feet from the toes of Jimmy’s boots. Alligator boots. He gulped and took a step backwards. This is what I mean with the description. It's so funny that Jimmy called the alligator handsome and the detail about the boots brought a smile to my face, I could see this unfold so vividly in such few words.  Jimmy knew he was playing with danger, but that had been priceless. He struggled to a sitting position and noticed that she was fighting back a grin herself. He poked her in the ribs and they both collapsed back on the grass, laughing. And this is what I meant about the depth of friendship. Of course it becomes more direct later, but this is such an effective way on conveying the ease with which they relate to each other where Lois isn't afraid to laugh at one of her own mistakes. It's nice not to see her defensive--and really endearing. He glanced at the boat keeper talking to a bunch of old ladies. He squared his shoulders a bit. If they could do this, he certainly could. LOL. Another priceless detail. It really fleshes out Jimmy. I end up liking him so much when before I wouldn't even give him a second thought! CK smoothed his hand over Lois’ back. She took a deep breath and glowered at Henderson, but she stopped talking. And from that detail, I think we can pinpoint where they are in their relationship or close to it. It was black, the surface so shiny that it looked like an oil slick. Their dark-haired reflections were perfectly clear, wavering with the ripples in the water. Gorgeous. Exquisite detail here. After he had to plunge his hand into the creek to rescue his oar the second time – the heron had been right there, so close he could touch it, he’d had to take the photo! Again, it's moments like this when Jimmy just comes alive to me...and I just want to ruffle his hair. I see how passionate he is about photography, how his surroundings are so interesting to him and how he appears to have this insatiable curiosity to capture it on film. There was no way to convey to the outside world the entire scope of what he was seeing. That's both the advantage and disadvantage of film, even in something so clear cut, the subjective eye breaks through. A picture ends up being just a fragment. Aside from the occasional, ‘Oh man, did you see that?!’ they traveled up the river trail in an unspoken but mutually agreed silence. Once more I really get how comfortable they are with each other. It speaks volumes. Then the scene with the alligator...I hadn't expected it, so I was right there with Jimmy, just so surprised that what it could lead to never ocurred to me. And this is my favorite passage: A cascade of memories flowed over Jimmy: late night B-movies, bomb threats, playing poker on stakeouts, and one particularly disturbing day at Veda Doodsen’s house when he had been just minutes from death. All those years, and the world’s greatest protector had been sitting right next to him, was in fact sitting next to him now, in a canoe in a backwoods swamp in Georgia. It really left me speechless. I think I'm still unable to express just how it all clicks. The flow of images in quick sucession has something to do with it. I can feel his wonder and it's actually quite moving. This was really heartwarming and wonderful. Thanks so much, Lisa! alcyone
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Joined: Jun 2003
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jun 2003
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Ditto to what was said above. I liked the incident with Lois and the 'statue' as well.
This was a fun ride.
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Joined: Mar 2006
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,367 |
Ooooo! I visited the Okefenokee swamp about five years ago and it was like being transported back to read your story! The water, the vegetation, the buildings and, most especially, the 'gators. I was paranoid and freaked out by them - just LAYING around by the parking lot - when we first got there. By the end of the day, they were old hat. I also enjoyed having a revelation for another character. Nicely done! Now you should do one where Henderson finds out. Or maybe he already knows? He seemed to let what might have shredded Clark's sleeve drop fairly easily. 
Lois: You know, I have a funny feeling that you didn't tell me your biggest secret.
Clark: Well, just to put your little mind at ease, Lois, you're right.
Ides of Metropolis
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2004
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Lisa, Thank-you!!! It was perfect! Will send more fdk privately, as I always do these days. carol
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
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Hi Lisa! “I wonder,” Jimmy said thoughtfully, “if that’s a real alligator.”
They both looked down at it, considering. Jimmy had never thought much about what alligators looked like, but this one was kind of handsome in his reptilian way. It was about fifteen feet long, black as coal and looked indestructible. And it was less than ten feet from the toes of Jimmy’s boots. Alligator boots. He gulped and took a step backwards. I absolutely love that intro. It's really funny and completely drew me in. In fact, why am I still typing this when I have more to read? Lois let out a small shriek and jumped back, falling on her behind. She stood and scrambled up the slope, barreling into Jimmy and sending them both to the ground. She immediately sat back up and looked over at the alligator, which had gone back to its statue-like trance.  Jimmy shrugged at them, dismissing the thought as he turned in his seat. He was about to return to the subject of the camera-shy bear when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw something break through the water and latch on to CK’s arm. Ahh!!! Glad there wasn't kryptonite around. “Jimmy, Clark will be fine,” she said. He tried to push her away, but her grip strengthened almost to the point of pain. “Look at me! Let him handle it.” Whew! *big sigh of relief* Lois knows already. I think she might have fed him to the rest of the alligators if she hadn't. Jimmy raised his camera and looked through the lens at Clark, who was still watching him patiently. He spent several moments adjusting the settings, trying to set the balance that would capture a portrait showing both sides of the man, but he couldn’t find it. He lowered his camera and studied his friend for another moment.
Some things were too big for film. That was beautiful. I loved Jimmy finding out and his thought process. Great job, Lisa! Laura
Thanks to CapeFetish for the awesome icon.
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 748
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 748 |
Great story!! I liked how we got to see it from Jimmy's POV there arn't to many stories like that. Lois let out a small shriek and jumped back, falling on her behind. She stood and scrambled up the slope, barreling into Jimmy and sending them both to the ground. She immediately sat back up and looked over at the alligator, which had gone back to its statue-like trance.  He was about to return to the subject of the camera-shy bear when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw something break through the water and latch on to CK’s arm. It's a good thing Lois already knows or Jimmy probably would have helped and put himself in danger!! Great way for Jimmy to find out. I liked how he went through everything in his head. But didn't tell Clark, that's makes me wonder how or if Jimmy is going to confront Clark about what he knows “at least I got one of Lois falling on her butt.” *LOL* that must be a great pic!! -Camy
"I have no regrets. If you regret things, then you're sort of stepping backwards.
I'm a believer in going forwards." ~Kate Winslet
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 130 |
I really liked this story. Jimmy's quiet understanding of the revelation was so well described!
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Posts: 1,864
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jan 2004
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I loved the atmosphere! What a great story.
Elisabeth
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Joined: May 2007
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Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 86 |
Brilliant! I love the way that story drew me in, right from the start. I know I'm repeating what's already been said, but the atmosphere you created was so well written I felt it was almost tangible. A wonderful way to relate a little heard from POV, a unique revelation fic which was so effective in highlighting the relationship between Jimmy and Clark, a bond that is not often explored in depth. PS. I loved the way you wrote Henderson. Well done 
All right... all right... but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order... what have the Romans done for us?
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Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Jan 2007
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Lisa, I loved this story from Jimmy's point of view. I was hooked from the first word. So, now Jimmy knows too.
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Joined: Dec 2005
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 365 |
Funny, very well-written and does Jimmy a lot of justice. Never has a Jimmy's POV fic been this interesting! 
“Is he dead, Lois?”
“No! But I was really mad and I wanted to kick him between the legs and pull his nose off and put out his eyes with a freshly sharpened pencil and disembowel him with a dull letter opener and strangle him with his own intestines but I stopped myself just in time!”
- Further Down The Road by Terry Leatherwood.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883 |
Thank you all for your wonderful feedback! This story is of a different type than many posted on the boards, so I was nervous about the response. I'm happy that so many of you enjoyed it. Lisa
lisa in the sky with diamonds
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687 |
Aaah! Lisa, that was excellent! Loved it!
Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3 |
That was wonderful, Lisa! I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of this vignette. You dropped in so many relationship clues - Clark's hand on Lois's back, Henderson verbally jousting with Lois, Lois and Jimmy laughing about the alligator in the beginning, and Jimmy's thoughts about who Clark was during his off-time.
And thank you for correcting my geography! I had thought that the Okefenokee Swamp was entirely in Florida (and much farther south, too), but it's right where you said it was. In fact, until I read it the second time and caught Lois reading the sign aloud, I thought you were describing south Louisiana. The decor is quite similar (used to live in the northern part).
Very nice, Lisa! You got me with the gator in the beginning, too. Thought it was going to nip Jimmy's boots right off his feet.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 53
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 53 |
Read this on the archive... I know I'm late, but I just had to post about how awesome it is. I really love this story, how it's told from Jimmy's perspective, how in tune with each other Lois and Clark are, how Lois is still as driven and focused as ever, albeit tempered a little by maturity, how Jimmy slowly figures the secret out. The sequence where he tries to find both Clark and Superman in his camera but can't is particularly amazing, as is the reference to Veda Doodsen.
Thank you for writing this. It's beautiful.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883 |
More FDK! And some of it quite old, too.  Lara, Terry, Noelle - Thanks so much for letting me know you enjoyed this fic! Terry, I wonder if you may have been thinking of Lake Okeechobee. It's a large lake and the two names are similar; I get them mixed up all the time. how in tune with each other Lois and Clark are Noelle, I'm thrilled that you mentioned this. Even though it didn't really have any bearing on Jimmy's story, I was trying to show exactly that about L&C's relationship. Thanks!
lisa in the sky with diamonds
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2003
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Wow! This was so well-written. Ditto to what everyone above wrote, and to the lines they chose to quote. (I think my personal favorite was the alligator boots. ) I loved it all! I'm embarrassed to admit that at first I had no idea what Clark was doing rolling up his sleeves. The significance of the color of his undershirt was lost on me (for some reason, in my mind I pictured it as a kind of long-johns). I thought, "Why would he roll up his shirt and his undershirt, thereby exposing his arm to Jimmy's view, only to keep the undershirt rolled up and then roll the shirt back down?" LOL. I can't believe how slow I can be sometimes.  It wasn't until Jimmy reflected on what he saw that I had my 'Eureka' moment. Thanks to sammie for asking about Jimmy fics. If it hadn't been for your question, I would have missed out on reading this wonderful story. Editted to add: you know what? I said my favorite was the line about the boots, and it's true, I did LOL over that. But I think my favorite part was the no-nonsense way Lois took charge of the situation, pulling Jimmy from the boat, and telling him in a manner that brooked no argument that Clark would handle it alone.
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883 |
Vicki, it was a lovely surprise to see this thread on the active topics thread this morning. Thank you for your kind feedback; I'm very happy you enjoyed the story!
lisa in the sky with diamonds
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 452 |
Lisa, I enjoyed this when I read it a year and a half ago, and when it was mentioned re sammie's request, I remembered it, despite the hundreds of other fanfics I've read since then. The only thing that surprised me was the lack of Kerth nomination next to it on the archive. The writing was tight, but not minimalist, with a truly lush setting. You didn't have Jimmy give long explanations of anything that sounded like an authorial info-dump. Instead, we were fed necessary information through bits of action and dialog. Very well done. I had a slightly different favorite line than the others: Jimmy raised his head and looked at Clark. The other man looked back at him with a steady gaze.
This was his best friend. The man whose wife he loved as a sister and whose son he had promised to protect if his parents were unable to do so. He trusted him.
Jimmy raised his eyebrows at him, and Clark nodded. It gave me such a clear picture of their relationship, and besides, it was so guy-like: never say 20 words if 7 will do; don't bother with 7 words if raised eyebrows and a nod will do. I also loved this bit: "Let me! I --"
"Shut up, Lane!"
CK smoothed his hand over Lois' back. She took a deep breath and glowered at Henderson, but she stopped talking. Really lovely vignette and revelation.
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