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Joined: Oct 2004
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Blogger
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OP
Blogger
Joined: Oct 2004
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First off, I must say I am quite pleased to be the one to start this feedback folder as I owe you a ton. Hopefully this makes up for my previous lack of loving fdk. I loved this story, "Jax". I kept thinking in my head that an nfic version needs to be posted soon...please, please, please?!?! Here are some of my favorite parts: He hadn’t specified what they would be doing so she had opted for a fitted cashmere sweater in a deep shade of violet and black slacks.
She knocked once and he opened the door immediately, dressed in a gray button-down shirt and tan slacks. A dishtowel was slung over his shoulder.
“Hi,” he said, his face breaking into a grin. “Wow … you look incredible.” You can just hear the awe in his voice. “You know, I was thinking.” She took another sip. “About Superman.”
He fought a groan as he carried the salad bowl over to the table. Come on, Lois! Give it a rest already! I understand you're reasoning though, it was a required part of the challenge. For that, I will say good tie-in. Plus it was kept short, love ya for it! The whole chocolate mousse this was delicious...you know what I mean. So much tension! Again, I ask for an nfic version. “It’s getting late. I’d better go.”
Clark let out an audible sigh. “I guess you’d better.” Darn it, just when it was getting good! Oh well, I guess it leaves something juicy for the nfic version *hint hint* Anyways, I loved it and if you haven't caught on by now, I hope for an nfic version...eventually. Great story, you rock! -Seema p.s. Just so you know, even though I have never posted fdk for you before, I love all of your stories and think you are brilliant. Love ya, friend!
"We must be the change we wish to see in the world." -Mahatma Gandhi
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
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Hi Jenn, Sticking to my new resolution to leave fdk, I simply can't ingnore this story. It is just so romantic and yes, Lois and Clark sizzle. I agree with Superdiva, we need an nfic version... what happens after the door closes. As always you write Lois and Clark completely in character, and Martha and Jonathan. In fact, I feel I am actually in an episode. Now, I'm waiting for the nfic version. Yours Jenni
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883 |
Their son clearly had it bad if he was cooking with mixed greens, let alone any form of vinaigrette. LOL! "Some things are worth staying for." *melts* Lovely story, Jenn. I think you set up her anger for WWW very well, especially considering that last line. Lisa
lisa in the sky with diamonds
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Joined: Jul 2006
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2006
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awww!!! that was so very sweet and heartwarming. Perfect for a rainy morning. Thanks for sharing with us!
Superman: Why is it that good villains never die? Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains? => Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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Joined: Mar 2006
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Mar 2006
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Their son clearly had it bad if he was cooking with mixed greens, let alone any form of vinaigrette. That's awesome! He hadn’t specified what they would be doing so she had opted for a fitted cashmere sweater in a deep shade of violet and black slacks. Yes, because deep violet was actually her first choice. <g> I also snorted at "static cling". It was time to get out the door, quickly, before she made any other impulsive decisions that could come at a high cost – her dignity, or, given the way they were looking at each other, her clothes. Oh, Lois! Clothes are so overrated. Especially his shirt. What time did she leave? Let's see that fic!
Lois: You know, I have a funny feeling that you didn't tell me your biggest secret.
Clark: Well, just to put your little mind at ease, Lois, you're right. Ides of Metropolis
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Posts: 544
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Columnist
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Wonderful! This story was sweet, waffy, and incredibly romantic. I loved it!
Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.
~Saw it on a T-Shirt.
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Posts: 251
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 251 |
who's standing on which side?
"Superman is what I can do. Clark is who I am."
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Joined: Mar 2006
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,367 |
who's standing on which side? In my mind, they're still kissing after the door closes.
Lois: You know, I have a funny feeling that you didn't tell me your biggest secret.
Clark: Well, just to put your little mind at ease, Lois, you're right. Ides of Metropolis
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687 |
Originally posted by Sue S.: In my mind, they're still kissing after the door closes. In mine, too. ...and we're all waiting for the sequel, btw, so get cracking, miss! *lol*
Superman: Why is it that good villains never die? Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains? => Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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Posts: 844
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 844 |
Damn it, people, does it look like I have time to write a sequel? I'm too busy sitting here staring into space and eating a pink donut. I have priorities. That being said, thanks for all of the feedback so far! I hope Zoar3 will see her story soon! I don't want her to think she was abandoned! I am glad you all like the ambiguity of the door closing. I came up with that at the last minute while driving to work yesterday and I was so excited I didn't realize I was all of a sudden going 15 miles over the speed limit. Guess I was just THAT excited to get here and write it. (And contrary to what Sue may tell you I was doing yesterday afternoon, i.e. slacking off and talking on IRC ), I did manage to get it done! Those who suggested a nfic version ... that brings up a good point. Based on what I wrote, what if they did sleep together that night? That would make her anger even more justifiable in WWW ... hmm ... now I'm thinking ... and preparing to slack off some more. Work is highly overrated when you've got fic to write. Wouldn't you all agree?
Clark: "You don't even know the meaning of the word 'humility,' do you?"
Lois: "Never had a need to find out its meaning."
"Curiosity... The Continuing Saga"
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Eating? Working? Next thing you know you'll be talking about SLEEPING. Lucky we're here in time to get your priorities straight. Anyway, this was a very good spin-off of the episode! I have to go back to homework sucking the life out of me, but just wanted to mention how much I enjoyed this story. *cough-and-any-sequels-cough* JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 655
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Columnist
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I saw, and read, lol. Thanks, Jen for writing it for me. I realized soon after putting in my request that asking for some sort of kryptonite discussion in only the first two seasons might be tricky, but not for you! As I have said before, I never quite got why 2 investigative resporters let alone M and J never thought to ask about a solution to K poisoning. Like everyone else, I, too, imagined what had to have happened once the door was closed! an n-fic version would be great but, what might also be veyr interesting, is if you continued the story say a year or so down the line once Lois knows Clark's secret and perhaps one of them or even Dr. Klein depending what he did in this story, brings back up the k issue. Anyway, thank you for a great story and please write more when you can. Mona
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Oh, that was lovely, Jenn! “What are you making?”
“Chicken piccata and a salad of mixed greens with walnuts, gorgonzola and a raspberry vinaigrette.” Chicken Piccata 2 skinless and boneless chicken breasts, butterflied and then cut in half Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper All-purpose flour, for dredging 6 tablespoons unsalted butter 5 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 1/3 cup fresh lemon juice 1/2 cup chicken stock 1/4 cup brined capers, rinsed 1/3 cup fresh parsley, chopped “Oh, and I was putting out a fire in Los Angeles so I zipped up to Napa and picked up a great chardonnay.” Looks good, if you're asking me! Martha was delighted. “So if she's coming over for dinner, things must be going well.”
There was silence.
“Clark?”
“I don't know,” he finally replied, all traces of his breezy tone gone. “Things are … complicated. She's been so angry at me lately.” He sighed. “Not that I can blame her, though. Every time we start to get close, I have to run off, and she has no idea why. And given the way I acted during my exposure to red Kryptonite, I"m surprised she"s even speaking to me.” Pssst, Clark? Tell her. His next statement was almost a whisper. “I'm afraid I'm going to lose her.”
“Oh, Honey, you aren't going to lose her,” Martha said empathetically. “She's crazy about you.” Listen to your Mom, Clark! He hadn't specified what they would be doing so she had opted for a fitted cashmere sweater in a deep shade of violet and black slacks.
She knocked once and he opened the door immediately, dressed in a gray button-down shirt and tan slacks. A dishtowel was slung over his shoulder.
“Hi,” he said, his face breaking into a grin. “Wow … you look incredible.”
She blushed. “Thanks. You look really nice, too.” Reaching over and plucking the dishtowel off his shoulder, “Static cling?” I like the clothes you chose for them - and that 'static cling' thing was a riot! Her voice got softer. “He's not so perfect after all.”
Clark couldn't believe what he was hearing. “What?”
Lois looked a little sad. “He's not invincible.” She took a bite of salad. “I don't know … he just seemed so much more human and not as ...”
“Virtuous,” he suggested with a touch of sarcasm.
“Well …” She shrugged. “I guess there isn't such a thing as perfect man after all.” She took a bite of pasta and visibly swooned. “But any one who cooks like this is pretty amazing.” Love it! Superman isn't perfect, but Clark is pretty amazing! Clark stood at the kitchen counter, scooping the piece de resistance of their romantic meal into two crystal goblets. He could hardly wait to see her reaction, and she didn't disappoint as he set the chocolate mousse on the table. Her eyes twinkled. “If you keep this up, I just may have to stay forever.”
CRASH! The goblet sitting to the left of Clark's arm fell to the floor and splintered into a million pieces. Loved that he got so flustered! (But oh, the delightful chocolate!) She picked up the spoon and took an exploratory bite. “Oh, God. Clark, this is incredible.”
He looked pleased. “I know what you like.”
“What else do I like?”
“You like chocolate éclairs.” He took the spoon and fed her a bite of mousse. “And you like Thai food … and romantic comedies … and double-fudge crunch bars, of course.” He thought for a minute. “I know you like pink cotton candy, and red wine and watching CNN for hours on end.”
She leaned in close. “You're forgetting something.”
“I'm sure I am,” he said softly as he slid another spoonful into her mouth and smiled as a blissful expression crossed her face. “There's so much I have yet to learn about you.” Noticing the intense look in her eyes, “So tell me.”
She reached out and touched his face. “I like you, Clark.” Her voice became even softer. “I like you a lot.”
“Do you?” He was barely breathing as he waited for her response.
She nodded, almost shyly. Sorry to quote all of this, but is's adorably sweet and delightful. Clark couldn't hide his grin as he took the spoon back. “My turn.”
His uttering of those two simple words sent a shiver down her spine as he slid a spoonful of the decadent dessert into her mouth.
She sucked in her breath as he reached over and gently wiped away a bit of chocolate from above her upper lip.
“Sorry, I got some on your face.”
They stared at each other for a long moment.
And then, before he could figure out whether he was dreaming or this was actually reality, Lois leaned in and licked the chocolate mousse off his thumb. <shivers down my spine> OK, he was definitely dreaming. “Lois?”
She held his glaze. “Yes, Clark?”
He didn't respond as they continued a soulful tango with their eyes. Who needs to talk when you can just stare into each other's eyes? Finally, Lois snapped back to reality. Had she really just done that? It was time to get out the door, quickly, before she made any other impulsive decisions that could come at a high cost – her dignity, or, given the way they were looking at each other, her clothes. “It's getting late. I'd better go.” Was it Sue who said that clothes are overrated? Without a word, he leaned in and kissed her, his arms sliding around her waist as she wound hers around his neck. He could taste wine and chocolate as his tongue slipped into her mouth, eliciting a moan as she succumbed to his sweet caress for the first time.
Their lips still touching, his voice was a whisper. "Some things are worth staying for."
The door closed. Aaaawwww!!!! And I'm sure they were up to all sorts of adorably nficky things in there, and if you want to write a sequel, you won't get any complaints from me! Lovely vignette, Jenn! Ann
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363 |
“Sorry, I got some on your face.”
They stared at each other for a long moment.
And then, before he could figure out whether he was dreaming or this was actually reality, Lois leaned in and licked the chocolate mousse off his thumb.
OK, he was definitely dreaming. “Lois?”
She held his glaze. “Yes, Clark?”
He didn’t respond as they continued a soulful tango with their eyes. Jenn! Girl you can take the most innocent gesture and make it so...sensual. That was the sexiest part of the story! Very good! Very romantic! You haven't lost your touch! ~Sheila
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 113
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 113 |
First Jax makes me drool with this wowza of a date story, then I come here to reply, and Ann makes me drool with those pictures... Now I'm hungry. Seriously though, great story, and very subtle incorporation of the challenge themes.
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Oh nice Jax, I love when the door closes and they are both on the same side of it. More soon. And possibly an nfic part for me<g> Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
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That was so wonderful, Jax! I remember thinking that Zoar3 had a particularly tough challenge, but you stepped up to the plate and performed beautifully. I agree. Nfic sequel? Pleeeease?
Laura
Thanks to CapeFetish for the awesome icon.
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Joined: Apr 2006
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 289 |
Jax, I too absolutely love this story!! The worries in the beginning, Clark's effort with hsi cooking, the Kents reassuring their "lovesick" son, and as for the actual dinner... That was so romantic, sweet, and real!! Love the kiss and the final line. Wouldn't mind seeing a sequel either. Natascha
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Columnist
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Columnist
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I LOVED it! A true romantic story!! I liked that Clark cooked instead of going out for dinner!! And now that I saw Ann's pictures. I really think dinner was delicious. "Here I was worrying about where you’d be at 7:01 … it's 10:31 and you're still here." ... and hopefully she'll stay even langer than that, who knows what happened when the door closed !! She was in the inside, right? -Camy
"I have no regrets. If you regret things, then you're sort of stepping backwards. I'm a believer in going forwards." ~Kate Winslet
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jan 2004
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Loved it.
Elisabeth who assumed that Lois was on the outside. Have I been married too long? No, no, it's not that. It was the reference to WWW.
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